Thanks AG, HB! I thought I had done quite well with a few new coping strategies in place. But the visit has brought up so much that I am still unaware off. Just feeling the after effect in as much as my concentration is down, my stress are levels up and being gentle with myself, what was that again?????? SBRead More...

I see your point, robin. Summer, I can see why this is a difficult decision for you. Even after your last session, you'll probably keep wanting to just talk to him again, because you really like him. But if there were things that were unresolved, then go. Maybe he can use his therapeutic expertise to help you put closure.Read More...

CT, So glad to hear you're doing/feeling better. It's amazing how one good session can turn things around! I think your T speaks the truth about the process going at it's own pace, and that you can't force it. I guess the challenge is to survive while the stuff does it's thing. Like you, I've been going through a really rough stretch lately; really bad fear 24/7, which of course is really depressing. It can be tough to accept this idea and to be patient when it seems so relentless. Anyway,...Read More...

HB I'm welling up like the others...this is an inspiration to the rest of us that there is life after T...thank you. LRead More...

thanks for the reply. i still figuring it out! samyRead More...

BLU, Just to add to what River said...I think some Ts do work with transference but don't talk about it. Mine seems totally open to it, but has never once used the word "transference" even though I have. So, you can ask about it, but you may or may not get the most direct answer because a lot of Ts are careful to not say, "Ok, because of this , you are experiencing this , and as a result you can expect A, B and C to now happen." Keep up updated. RussRead More...

Great advice! That's how we should live, yes?!Read More...

And sometimes it feels like the pain and suffering will never, ever end. I've got the heartbreak and despair down to an art form...anyway I can speed up the joy and healing part?Read More...

That is very touching Summer. Maybe the risk you took to let him in wasn't all bad after all?Read More...

Hi Russ I totally can relate to your being so frustrated and angry. I feel that way alot myself. It's hard when folks ask what is wrong with you and you don't really know. I get that alot. So I say nothing. But that's not really the truth. It feels like everything is wrong. I feel like I just go around begging people to like me or even recognize me, but it seems like they never do. And THAT makes me angry and frustrated and tired of trying. But I can't seem to stop. I don't mean to, I'm just...Read More...

Cooked! I love it. "When will I be done baking!" Oh man, that Onion thing is hysterical. I love the part of "The Natural Way to Feel Shitty" being a diet of corn syrup, white bread and a total lack of exercise, and the bit about reducing costume theme parties is priceless. Great stuff. RussRead More...

Summer, I'm sorry you're facing this and although nothing I think HB said the most important things (and so lyrically and with such truth that it was like listening to a symphony by Beethoven and Mozart combined, HB!) I did want to point out one more thing. The point of therapy isn't that we figure out how to avoid any pain in relationships or become capable of finding a person who will NEVER hurt us. That's impossible because we have to have our relationships with other humans. What we need...Read More...

BUMP.... I just thought I'd bump this to the top... It is my hope that what PL said here is at the heart of what we are all trying to accomplish here. Thanks PL...for giving me such a lovely image after a cold and dreadful day. ((((PL))))) luv your "corny" face. SDRead More...

Slowbitz, That's what I loved about the book, they talk about the neurobiological basis of attachment and how we are hard wired to need relationships but they also recognize love as being at the center of those relationships. They deny neither the science nor what we know to be true within ourselves about our feelings. Really awesome read. I hope you enjoy it. AGRead More...

It happened to me with more than one perp, too. One as a young child and one as a teenager. And then, as an adult, I got into a sexually abusive relationship. I understand the sign thing, both messages that you feel. There's something about patterns. I don't quite understand it, but we repeat patterns. We also repeat family patterns, which is what I did. I ultimately don't feel like it was my fault, but when I go to the child part of me, I feel like I was bad and I deserved it. I don't know...Read More...

The everchanging labels in the DCM doesn't bother me as much as the ever changing views/stigma towards mental illness. That makes treatment very hard or impossible for some ppl to find and receive WizRead More...

I'd like to think I am doing better, but I am not sure. I still cry over him and at times it feels less intense and other times it feels the same. All I know is that I am still confused. I know the psychiatrist told me that I am not in love with my chiropractor and that it just feels like love, but sometimes I think I do really love him and I think I cry because I've never felt this way about a man and it confuses me. And the worse part is that it is a man I cannot have. But then I think...Read More...

Life sometimes sucks. Even more so if you have to work. Please take time for you and go play. Glad this is a planned leave rather unexpected. Hurry back WizRead More...

Thank you so much. It was so easy to do with your help. Thanks Namaste' WizRead More...

Namaste'Read More...

I agree with catgirl, couldn't have said it better myself. I don't think you owe him anything. I wish he would at least give you an explanation and at the very least, give you the names of other Ts who might be good for you. OWRead More...

Hi Wiz, I may have to change my nickname soon too. HB, I am doing okay. My transference feelings are manageable. I've been doing a better job of expressing myself about relationship. I think I will start a new post describing what is going on? I hope your move is going okay.Read More...

I can't imagine going through what you're going through. It's one of the biggest fears of my life. Whatever's going on with him, I think that he owes it to you to give you a little more information. If he is gravely ill, he should have told you when he spoke on the phone with you last. It's not right to just drop you. I would be very angry and hurt. That's just my opinion. Like everyone said, don't take it personally. It's not about you; it's about whatever is going on with him. You will...Read More...

Hi Catgirl. Welcome to the forum. It is an excellent place for support. Everyone here is really great at supporting and encouraging. Sorry about your mom. I lost mine about 2 years ago. It is still very painful, but time does help in the healing process. I wish you luck in starting things over. Glad you have a good T to help you along, too.Read More...

AJB, It is not a sign of weakness to go to therapy; it's a sign of strength. It takes a lot of courage and fortitude to face ourselves, don't tell yourself different. I'm glad you had the courage to go back. AGRead More...