Hey I just wanted to let you know I totally can relate. I feel powerless in my therapist's office. I want to tell her how I feel, but it is like I can't get it out. I think I just have a lot of trouble expressing myself and because my abuse happened pre verbal. I am like a child and she is powering over me. Anyways its quite normal to feel like you have no power or control. I think with time it will happen. If you trust your therapist and feel he is a good fit than I would stick with it and...Read More...

I used to call my therapist once between sessions. I felt I could get a lot more out on the phone than I could in sessions. Maybe because I wasn't trapped in a room with her staring at me. Anyways I always want to talk to her and I worry if I call her too much or at all I will get too dependent on her. Its very hard for me to call. I also wander if not calling her is hurting me more, because I am left sitting there feeling I am stuck in those bad emotions until the next session. I wish we...Read More...

hi again, i think that the hard session last week has really affected me, i feel like only part of me is in control at the moment and feel kinda separate from me. My thoughts are fast also. It feels safe to talk about the hard stuff.Read More...

((((((((HB))))))))))) I'm glad that you and your T were able to make that connection so deeply and take the time to look back and honor when you arrived at an ending. I had my T of 17 years retire and I know what a bittersweet experience it is. To recognize all your progress and the role you both played in it and how much the relationship meant to both of you is to rejoice in what you had together. But it is sad, and sometimes painful, to have to say goodbye. I want to encourage you that I...Read More...

CT, I totally relate. I think saying "no" is a difficulty for anyone who didn't have healthy boundaries. Two things have really helped me in this area. In working through our marital problems both my husband and I have had to learn to say no. The weird thing is that as we have both learned to say no, the other had actually been happier. I was having trouble understanding why, until my T told me no on several major issues (hugs & a set appointment). I experienced something really...Read More...

Hey JM I don't even know if what I experienced the other night was a true flashback- my T said that is "probably an appropriate term for it," whatever that means! Thanks for the words of advice, and for your offer of support through them... if I keep having them. My T did say that if I can lessen some of my external stressors, it might help me not to get to that point in the future (the preceeding two weeks were very very very anxiety/fear ridden). Either way, if it happens again or not, I...Read More...

CT, Thanks so much for your response. Your ideas make all sorts of sense, especially the notion that I might have thought that our inability to connect was indicative of something being wrong with me. This is part of the low self-esteem I've had my entire life, and I'm sure it was at work to some degree in this instance. Exactly. There are tiny moments that, when I think about them, evoke really strong emotions. It could be the way my mom said something, the inflection in her voice where I...Read More...

Em You make a very good point here. I have wondered if my son felt anything for his current therapist. He used to have a man, who I thought was pretty nice, but my son finally said he wanted to stop seeing him because it was boring!?! So, we stopped. His T now is a very energetic, hot looking woman. Seriously, any teen age boy could get MAJOR transference for her! But, he has never said anything (and I really don't expect him to). I just also wonder if it is different for teens. Your input...Read More...

FYI SD (and anyone else interested), there are some used copies of In Session at Amazon.com right now for about $12.00 and up. I paid $30 with shipping so it's a pretty good price! -CTRead More...

This is so hard and frightening and necessary. I'm not doing very well at this yet, but intellectually I understand how much it will help me to overcome those monsters. Each time I am a little bit successful, and things turn out ok, I know I am building that bridge to happiness and health. It is important for me, and my T points this out quite often, to look at how far I have come. How I have changed many of my behaviors, even if only slightly. I know I still have a long way to go, but the...Read More...

Interesting. The reason I went into therapy was because I was waking up with horrific anxiety/panic attacks in the wee hours. I've had less since starting therapy but I still occasionally wake up drenched in sweat without remembering what I'd been dreaming about. Or, I'll wake up in the morning with just a general sense of fear/dread without really knowing why. According to my T, sometimes we don't remember our dreams for a reason. Not a conscious reason of course, but a reason nontheless.Read More...

There's a really good book out (where I got my profile quote) by Marianne Williamson titled, "A Return to Love." She defines love, in the introduction, as "...what we are born with. Fear is what we have learned [in this life]. The spiritual journey is the relinquishment -- the unlearning -- of fear and the acceptance of love in our hearts. Love is the essential existential fact. It is our ultimate reality and our purpose here on earth."Read More...

I do keep a journal...for years. Although I have had times when I've had a book burning party. I always have one around for alters that do not use the computer, and it does help especially with the very young/little ones...but I'm sick of toting it around with me...with a laptop, a bunch of pencils, crayons, markers and sketch books...it's breaking my shoulders! I use a flight case sometimes...but feel a bit like a pharmaceutical rep when I'm walking around the hospital with it. The session...Read More...

Hi Summer, I just wanted to point you towards an old post of mine that was a epiphany one day while I was struggling with why the boundaries in therapy are what they are. Hope this helps. Boundaries, I finally think I get 'em! AGRead More...

AG First of all, thanks for all the great information you have given us. It gives me so much to think about, and a different perspective of what I need vs. what I want from my T. Of course I want that to be the same thing, but I realize that is not healthy or possible. The other thing is something that I am having a hard time coming to terms with in my mind. I know that my mom had so much good flowing from her, and because of being adopted, I am so grateful for the life she gave me. And I...Read More...

Totally agree! Thanks for your replyRead More...

I'm up for a chat- can't do Tuesdays and Thursdays cause of school, but am realatively open other than that. BTW, I'm in Central time zoneRead More...

yes, this one has always gotten me into trouble. firstly by wanting to hand responsibility for my wellbeing over to others altogether (usually boyfriends and you can probably imagine the desasters ...), but at the same time not accepting any real help/love from others at all. isn't that such a paradox??? so i'm working on taking care of myself whilst also accepting the care of others 'cause i ain't superwoman (tho i would like to be, independent, neending nobody .... ahh would life be...Read More...

I usually give gifts to therapists and teachers, I always have. Its usually on there birthday or christmas. I have only had one therapist who declined to recieve a gift it was just a card and chocolates, Then she tried to give me a christmas card and some candy, so i said "Oh, Im not sure if i can accept this I took the card and left the candy. She was just a weirdo though. My current therapist is very nice about accepting gifts, she has a few things that i have brought for her sitting on...Read More...

Jo, I know sometimes that things seem tough and the burdens seem heavy but you will get through this. I know we can't be there "in person" for you but we are here to listen and support you through this difficult time. We like having you here with us in this group so please keep posting and sharing. Let us know how you are doing. I'm sorry that you now have identity theft to deal with. Just take things one step at a time. Do you have any family support? I know it can be difficult to ask for...Read More...

Yeah I think Therapists have freudian slips all the time. mine says things by mistake and it always cracks us up laughing.Read More...

thats great.Read More...

This ^ is why it is called Gradual School ! Thanks TN...and everyone.... It's nice to know that SOMEONE understands...and feels the way I do. I've been afraid that what I did was totally inappropriate and off base. When in reality (I know)...it was not. I have even asked her if she had a personal issue with casual touch. She did flinch a bit...so I may have hit a nerve there. hmmm.... Anyway...she denied having such an issue, which I thought was really strange. After all...I had just offered...Read More...

I don't have much time to chat right now, but I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you today Jo. I hope your appointment is what you need for it to be. I look forward to reading about it when you feel like posting. Sending good thoughts and strength your way, -CTRead More...

we got a scott who is big, an a scottie who is lidl. and lidl scottie talked our T abut it, but first him loked her outa her office! HA samyRead More...