TRIGGER WARNING This will tell you what questions relate to each characteristic being tested. It might be triggering. It won't give you a score though. Validity Scales Defensiveness Scale Mean: 10.0 Cutoff Score: 100.0 0 1. (0) While watching TV, you find that you are thinking about something else. 0 10 (0) Forgetting errands that you had planned to do. 0 33. (0) While reading, you find that you are thinking about something else. 0 65. (0) Being impulsive. 0 87. (0) Not being able to...Read More...

(((DRAGGERS))) So cool your kids are doing it in school too. The cup part looks like fun.Read More...

Ok, I'm back... once I started my wheels turning a little I couldn't shut down again afterall ((((pingles)))) ((((eme)))) ((((about)))) ((((turtle)))) ((((SD)))) (((S-B)))) ((((SP))))((((puppet)))) ((((athenacus)))) ((((saka)))) ((((chezza)))) ((((becca)))) ((((draggers)))) thank you so much for all the support I'm so thankful for each of your best wishes and kind words and hugs. I'm thankful that telling about how it went was meaningful and hopefully helpful to read, it was really hard to...Read More...

((LIESE))Letting go of a struggle is a huge step forward. I'm really impressed by the way you got through it all. When I read things like this on the forum, it helps me a lot, and I want to thank you for this positive example and you should be really proud of yourself.Read More...

((Cogs, Sakajawea, and SP)) Thanks so much for the response. Yes each of your interpretations now help his comment make sense. I was hung up on analytic fallacy. I couldn't figure out what he meant by that. Yes I know I am wrong inside. I have been flawed since the day I was born. I try really hard but have never quite gotten to the point where I can truly just be happy with who I am. I'm really down this morning, sorry. Thanks for helping me understand. And SP - love your attitude toward...Read More...

((((RM)))) Sorry this was all so triggery.Read More...

hi chickadee, it sounds like you're being really open and honest with yourself about your attachment to your T, how important that relationship is, and how much it's helping you even though it's difficult and painful. that takes a whole lot of courage and i truly admire you for that. and i think it's a good sign that your attachment issues come out with your T, it gives you a valuable opportunity to explore the meaning and significance of attachment for you and that will likely give you a...Read More...

Thank you so much. I just feel so illegitimate, so guilty. Thank you for your answers, they matter a lot, even if I have to delete my own parts.Read More...

((((turtles, quell, lucy, liese))) Thank you guys each for the support and best wishes, so much It really is so hard to know when do I stay, when do I go? What is something for us to work through, when is it a deal breaker? All of you guys facing the same situation, I hope you'll find as much comfort in the advice and support I've been given on this thread. It applies to you, too! You deserve the best. I'm starting a new thread about how today went... my brain is complete mush...Read More...

((((RM)))) Yes, I would do that too! ((((EME)))) That was so insightful. I too have thought of my T as the perfect T and that certainly hasn't helped with my tendency to idealize others and devalue myself. I do think it would be a much healthier and realistic attachment if we got to see the human side of them sometimes. It would have to be at the right time and in the right doses because I might then tend to devalue him as well. I did need to have confidence in him and think he was put...Read More...

Thanks, AGRead More...

Pengs and Mallard: I feel so blessed to have found this site. I re-read my letter and finally decided that it is probably a good idea to send the therapist the whole letter, with a few corrections of course. Hopefully something good will come out of it, and even if it doesn't, I'm still glad I gave therapy a shot. Perhaps someday I'll find someone who'll be able to give me what I want. Till then, I just have to find a way to continue. Both your replies were very helpful and instrumental in...Read More...

(((Tas)))This does sound so painful. My experience is that T relationships are painful too. My new T says it's a traumatic attachment and that's why it's like that. But get this now she is running a group I am in. She just took over and everyone else in there is her client too and no matter how hard I try I feel so damn jealous when she gives them attention. Particularly this one woman who sits with her head down the whole time and acts all angry to be there and my T puts her arms around her...Read More...

Liese, reminds me of an amazing woman I worked with once at a domestic violence agency: "I used to be a victim--now I'm a victor!" Thriving is so much better than surviving! I'm with you. :-)Read More...

Hello everyone and thank you for your answers! I typed two answers that my computer mysteriously erased and I am just back from France, so I finally have the time to answer properly. That sounds quite like my T, and my reaction, and yet... it works indeed. I guess I am sometimes just too much hoping to get an answer, a "validation" of my feelings that I cannot be patient, bear the uncomfortable feeling and immediatly switch to the next step: feeling I deserve the pain I am feeling. I heard...Read More...

I so wanted to get back to this post but have been so horribly triggered through the holiday season that I just couldn't handle it. Sorry for the delay. I want say thank you to each of you. it is so nice to know that I am not alone in this. ((TN)) - You are so brave in acknowledging that you even feel anger. I tend to block it all. T and I chuckle about it at times but it is a big gaping hole in my soul that I cannot admit to or acknowledge feelings of anger. The self loathing and disgust...Read More...

Thanks starfish. I will tell T at the next session that I was numb (and still am) about what I said. That I have no feelings I can access has left me worrying I'm a liar - must have made it up if I dont feel anything. Hi SP - The don't drive thing is impossible. The place I get help is a 75 minute drive from home!!! There is only so long I can hang about the town before I have to drive back. And, actually, when I left really triggered I couldn't stay outside - and ran back to my car... this...Read More...

((((COGS)))) You are not unhappy because of the way you see things. You are unhappy because you have had bad things happen to you with very little emotional support. The work isn't to change your perspective. The work is to either change the things you don't like about yourself and can change and to hopefully comes to terms with the rest. You never had the support in the past but you do now. You only had blame.Read More...

(((athenacus))) I'm so happy to hear it made a difference for you and was helpful to read!Read More...

((( Draggers )))Read More...

I'm loving these you guys!Read More...

((((cat)))) So sorry for how tough this must be sending hugs and support and best wishes your wayRead More...

(((liese))) To answer the title question, If I thought my T lied I'd hit the roof in an epic way lol Really though trust is maybe the hardest part in all this stuff, and anything that feels off is so hard to deal with. The dynamic of situation where you have to fill in the gaps because you can't see thw whole picture is maddening too. I hate having part of the story in regards to anything, my mind goes in overdrive trying to put the rest together. I think when you said you could talk to him...Read More...

(((yaku))) I'm sorry this was so triggering and difficult I don't have any kids, but I'm positive if I did there would be a million times a day that interactions would take me straight back to my childhood and kick up all sorts of triggers. I really have so much respect and awe for all the hard work you put into raising your little one, and it sounds from what I've read of your posts that you're doing such a great job!! It does hurt to feel a trigger coming and still experience the effects...Read More...