AH -- I'm so sorry you are going through this right now and that it has not been a quick and painless process. One can only distract themselves *so* much before grief re-pokes its way in. The distracting oneself and the grieving are both exhausting, I know. I'm glad you are sharing your experience. It is a help to me, although I would rather you have never experienced this. ((AH))Read More...

((cat)) I can relate to your post and all the responses sooooo much!! It's intense. It's scary. It's miserable. Sometimes I think finding a safe place to ride through the waves of emotions is helpful, to let them all flow- the pain, fear, anger, numbness. And then trying to soothe the younger parts as much as possible and keeping busy to pass the time helps a little bit. Hang in there AHRead More...

(((TK))) sounds like things were really tough during session but some great discoveries and progress made! remember what you said about baby steps, that's always so important. sending hugs for you and li'l one for the upcoming weekend. you can make it, I believe in you AHRead More...

There is mention of a T internalizing their patient. What does that Feel like to the T a.d How would that affect the relationship??Read More...

Belated ***TRIGGER WARNING - Mentions SU and communicating about it*** (((Cat))) This new Pdoc isn't for meds. There just has to be one seeing if I should be in the program and coordinating my participation. They said after the first meeting, I probably won't see them much. I'm just on high alert after the last one kept asking questions about my experiences and then knocking them down. Like, she doesn't worry when she treats moms with SU, because a mother would never, ever do that. When she...Read More...

((((COGS)))) It's all terribly painful. Your T might be a bit thick or maybe he is uncomfortable with certain conversations. BUT, he has proven that he will not abandon you. That's a good place to start. The more you can verbalize to him the things you want or expect from you, the better off you will be. Sometimes our expectations get us into trouble with relationships. It's not that's it's wrong to expect things but we might expect something from someone they are unable to give. For you to...Read More...

Big hugs to both of you. I'm so sorry things are at crisis point. I agree on the meds front. Recently I had to go and get some Valium at a very low dose just to allow me to function enough to get through the day. I wonder whether doc would make an exception to help get you through the immediate crisis? I know that what has happened has absolutely rocked your world but if you can, try to hold on that you were really getting somewhere with Lil one and T and that that means it is possible to...Read More...

Re: Break From BoardsRead More...

Hi AG! I was hoping you would respond! I know you are the expert on this. I almost referenced your blog in my post. I did not suffer overt sexual abuse from my father, however, I did suffer covert incest so I have felt, to a great degree, that my only value for men is sexual. I have definitely had to learn that there are other things about me that matter too! This is something I have worked on in my therapy. I also think my T is attractive too! So, here is where I think I am at with the ET.Read More...

OOPS!! I have been in DBT for 6 months not 56 months!! God that would be horrible. lolRead More...

Hi Lizzie and welcome. I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this right now. I had a couple of thoughts - but of course I don't know your whole situation. First, I have never heard of an insurance company stepping in and getting that involved in what therapist someone chooses. If your T had the basic qualifications to be doing therapy, it is odd to me that they would "fire" - meaning refuse to pay for? - your T and further to say that they will find you an appropriate T! I'm going to guess...Read More...

I'm so sorry you are struggling with the fallout of losing your T. Even though it is immensely difficult, you are doing something positive to protect yourself, something very courageous. I appreciate that your wounded parts don't feel massively consoled by that right now though. Edit: on rereading it feels like I kind of glossed over your immense pain and jumped straight to the coping strategies so I just wanted to reiterate how very sorry I am that you are having to go through this,...Read More...

That's defo ice cream and caramel sauce...potato wouldn't melt down the side of the apple... And I'm sure it's caramel sauce not gravy-I know caramel sauce when I see it Fight you for the jug (((Cat)))Read More...

That's a professional breach, you guys, if your T did talk to you about them/them about you, even if you and they know each other. I would really warn you about not talking about your T to those people, ever. My T probably still does see people I know or am acquainted with, but in the past I knew for sure he did. I actually met my ex-friend through my T. We were pretty good friends for well over a year. She would ask me a lot of questions about my sessions with T. (Unbeknownst to me at the...Read More...

Liese, I think its hard to trust sometimes that our T's know how to look after themselves in a way that means they can keep being there for us and that we are valuable to them even though we can't be a caretaker/support person. xxx GERead More...

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. There are times lately that I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. With everything li'l one and I are working on with T, plus the latest revelations about my adoption, plus work stressors, I feel I'm at my limit. Unfortunately, to top things off last week was a frantic call from my mom at work to say "dad is missing"! he's suffering from increasing short-term memory problems and apparently he went out last week (in the car) to...Read More...

Thank you for reminding, AH, about the mandalas. A friend suggested them a while ago and I keep forgetting about them. Li'l one loves colouring. As torturous as today was to get thru, we did. But, unfortunately not without another cursed panic attack while in the cafeteria. Thankfully, it didn't last long...mostly because I had to get my sh*t together so I could I chair a meeting I called this afternoon. As I was going thru this latest attack, I truly felt like I'm going to suffer a nervous...Read More...

((Liese))Read More...

If anyone does find out that the IP address is connected to Mudd, would you let us know? There have been a lot of new people here lately. I'm more cautious to reach out than usual because of what happened with Mudd.Read More...

(((AH))) That is a pretty cool analogy. I'm sorry you have to go through this.Read More...

1. Firm definitely! 2. One good posture support pillow to sleep on and a couple to cuddle up with 3. I can, I don't mind it but I prefer to sleep in the dark quiet with the rain pouring on the roof 4. My son's hair, my husbands embrace; vanilla scent 5. gray or navy 6. Not a big perfume person but I like Angel 7. Can I say mountains by the ocean? 8. Lego, reading, swing rides, Sound of Music 9. The closest I got was Mary Poppins, fairytales were banned in our house 10. Inspector GadgetRead More...

(((Yaku))) Just wanted to send some hugs and support your way, I hope your fears are eased soon Thinking of you AHRead More...

Hi TN, I've been reading and sending you lots of gentle thoughts. Sorry I didn't chime in to say that but wanted to leave aRead More...

Hey Lizzie, I kind of do what catalyst does, getting out and being physical. Sweating and breathing hard relieves many things. Do you have a pet? I find that helps also. I have a little pup and she has literally saved me these last couple of years. Didn't want her at first but she really was supposed to be in my life. I hope you can find some relief from the loneliness.Read More...

Draggsies, you are the best!!!! Even I missed that!!!!Read More...