TK hang onto those buds of hope. That is wonderful you can feel that starting to blossom. I have a difficult time believe that I could ever be happy again. My parents were very negative people, especially my mother who had a scare story for everything I ever wanted to do. These feelings are just new to you and it will take a little while to feel comfortable with them but don't give up. TNRead More...

RTRead More...

Tygr That sounds like really good news. It is so nice to hear about a doc stepping up and calling you to reassure you. Hopefully this will lead to some real support while you sort out your life. JillannRead More...

WOW...just......WWOOOWWWW!!! Even tho this isn't my thread, I have to say everyone's words and insight into their very hurt little ones have truly shed a bit more light on things for li'l one and I. Thank you all for this unexpected gift today! To you, AH, I really, really wish I could use a magic wand to take away even just a tenth of the pain you're experiencing right now. Unfortunately, all I can offer are cyber hugs and words of support. The KidRead More...

(((TK)))Read More...

I'm glad you and your T talked about this. Even though it's hard, it sounds like it may not be what you wanted necessarily, but your T is still looking toward what you need (stability, mostly - misunderstanding makes the relationship so hard).Read More...

yup, we have tried working with my various protectors and the part that feels ashamed. I feel like I'm a simple person because all roads lead to my exiled needy part, which the shame is trying to protect. I just really can't handle IFS, at least right now. My T has finally decided to respect my strong dislike of the method. Maybe sometime in the future we can work again with some of my parts...but I'm not sure I'm cut out for that. I know it can really help others though.Read More...

((Ninn)) Sorry to be so late to this, but wanted to tell you that I have been in therapy, on and off (although more on than off) for over 27 years. To me, three years is isn't even enough time to really draw in a good breath. I think the new trend towards using pharmaceuticals (NOTE: no problems with mediction, ADs have been a life saver for me, just don't think they're a fix-all) and fast fix therapy, and the fact that many schools are focusing on that is producing a new generation of Ts...Read More...

I think when considering whether or not something said is appropriate there are a lot of factors that need taking into account and, like lots of people have said, context is important. One of the things I have found useful is to ask the question "Who's needs are being served by this disclosure or comment?" Ts need to ask themselves this question when they are interacting with clients. The point of the therapeutic relationship is that it is there purely to serve the client's needs, not the...Read More...

(((((MONTE))))) Take good care of yourself and hope you are back sooner rather than later.Read More...

SD I attend five days per week in a row (and thank whoever it is that invented medicare and my T for being a registered GP). the continuity is excellent for helping develop object constancy and in my early days I didn't have sessions on consecutive days and it was harder to deal withRead More...

Thank you ((jill)) ((SP)) Jill - my T always admits to being crazy and tells me it's okay to be crazy too lol. SP - yes... fuzzies help a lot!Read More...

Hi everyone, Like Hollow, I'm not "new" here but only became a member this past June. I originally went to addictions counselling from 2008 to Mar 2010 and was then referred to my current therapist who specializes in childhood trauma and sexual abuse, addiction, family of origin issues, etc.. She's trained in attachment theory and EMDR, among other modalities. I decided to quit drinking (heavily) after 25 years of pure hell. I did it cold-turkey at 6:00 pm on December 18th, 2008...an early...Read More...

Liese, You are right it is progress. I can see it but I can't change the upset and pain. I'm feeling pretty disheartened. I either cancelled a session or quit therapy 2-3 times/month in 2011 (by email and I went to every session in the end). In 2013 this is the second time I've considered quitting. I'm not sure I can improve anymore. Smilingpenguin, I am sorry that you have the same problem. I can totally relate to being afraid of T in a moment.Read More...

Thank you Shaman!Read More...

TAS, here is my opportunity to follow my new "read everything three times before posting rule" for the first time. ***I read your dream 3 times, TAS!*** I think it is awesome. My take on it: The "stuff" in the room is your stuff-- emotions, memories, psychological baggage of all kinds. In the dream, you feel it's presence in the room as crowding, overwhelming, derailing your ability to focus. The DADDY card might be indicative of paternal transference with your T. I loved how he said...Read More...

Yaku, you have already done a great job with your daughter. I think it's good she is not so compliant. Might be difficult at times but I think girls especially should have a mind of their own. She sounds sweet and wonderful and sounds like a lucky girl indeed who has a mom who pays so much attention and who loves her. Good on you.Read More...

With the Ts I have had in the past usually they ask this as a sort of session opener. I have been asked what I want to talk about today and then decided what that is only to have them then say "Well this is what I want to talk about" I had the sense then that they were trying to see if we had the same thing on the agenda that day. I think it's a way of giving you some freedom to talk about what is most important to you at that moment. Given the whole session there is plenty of room to say...Read More...

Draggers...I feel extremely honoured that you would share something so incredibly painful and personal with everyone here. I've had to read your post a few times to fully comprehend everything. I cannot think of anything more to say that hasn't already been expressed above. You are truly inspiring. Sending you and especially your little ones the gentlest of hugs. The Kid and li'l oneRead More...

Thanks, people, for sharing your thoughts. It was seriously interesting to me to read that other people have felt the same way. I agree that mildness all round is ideal. I don’t *think* I was being too hard on myself, more just recognizing that cloudiness of vision is sometimes unavoidable but sometimes partially due to inattentiveness. I don’t really like myself or my writing when it’s from the latter, and uh, I guess I wanted to announce that in case it had ever bothered anyone else.Read More...

((About)) Thank you for being so honest, I hope if /when you do come back you feel a little more as though you belong. It's hard to feel out of the fray... Being part of communities (any) can bring good material to bring up in T, also! Hope whatever time you are gone, be it days or forever that you are taken through your journey gently. RT & MH: That line is from a song by Sia (an artist I love) and a song Breathe Me if anyone wants to hear it and see the very very awesome video - I had...Read More...

RM how did i forget the shame and abandonment fears???Read More...

I am also very late, but want to add my support to the pile. Yes, we here very much understand the attachment side of things and the deep pain that is endured when you lose a T. I am finding it does lessen in intensity gradually with time, though that is not much comfort when you feel you can't endure it a minute longer. Please try to hold on one day (or one hour) at a time, believing there are better days ahead.Read More...

hi tygr, its awful feeling so paralized when faced with decisions i hope these feelings ease a bit and you will be able to get a bit of peace. i dont know if this helps, but the course is not a major life decision, you will probably get something good out of it anyway even if it isnt perfect, and it sounds like you're leaning towards the cheaper course which means less pressure on your finances so hopefully an easier decision. i do understand about the T decision, and i think it's very wise...Read More...

Thanks Yakusoku, The distancing feels so unusual to me. I keep thinking "fine, I don't need you then." It makes me feel like a teenager, in a sense. I will show you(T) that I can be on my own and I don't need you to think you are the "stars and sunshine" in this equation. I am distancing because the last couple of sessions I have felt invalidated. I felt like she was pushing more forwards when at that moment all I really wanted/needed was her to understand or let me sit in this pain. I'm not...Read More...