Hi Ainsley, It's not easy. When I first broke off contact with my mother I went into PTSD flashback mode and was terrified she would show up at my house with a gun. This was all a fantasy but the fear was real. I agree with you about being away from the family. That has helped to get me out from under paralyzing fear and opened me up to new relationships. There's more time and energy to spend with healthier people. When I looked back, after it happened, I wish I had done it years before.Read More...

((Hollow)) I'm pretty confident my T would take as long as it takes, she's told me a lot of her clients don't move to where we're working for one reason or another but that with everyone she meets us where we are at. She will challenge some of my neediness (and she has) as it relates to my parents (blood from a rock there). ((Nannabee)) Thank you! Actually... I am a little mad at my T. It did feel like she just left me in the dust on my rump without an explanation. What she plans on...Read More...

((Liese)) It's really good that you pushed yourself forward and went to see your T. You re-established that connection which will allow you to progress further and move your relationship closer. I know it's really hard to go sometimes. It's like driving really really slow, just wanting to listen to one more song, and dragging "butt" as you walk into the office DIFFICULT. I have those moments myself and like you, I find it to be relief to make that connection. Great job.Read More...

I too can get so frustrated and sad about not being able to really feel good in a direct sense of the word, let alone feel love from people. I’ll explain: while I’m an expert at feeling bad, feeling good doesn’t come to me without a conscious effort. It’s like walking along the beach at sunset, hand in hand with a loved one. I’ll go “oh, there’s a beautiful sunset, and the sand is warm under my feet, and the sound f the sea is soothing, and holding hands is nice, and, and, and…” and only...Read More...

Hey Born 2 write, thanks for taking the time to respond. I think talking to someone is the way foreward for me. I've been up and down for quite some time now and yes, you are right, im still very young and have a lot of living yet to do! All the best, AndrewRead More...

Thanks Yakusoku for the reassurance. This relationship I have with these two women is so challenging because I don't have many friends. I don't want to come across as jealous at all. But the feelings hurt my heart. I just poured my heart out to my hubby about it and he provided a sympathetic ear. SO much more than what my therapist is giving at the moment. I realize that this relationship is triggering the mom and sister thing I have struggled with for so long.Read More...

((Turtle)) I feel your pain. I want you to know you are not alone in this experience. I have been in this place, abandonment by a therapist. It's very difficult for me to talk about. I had been seeing my old T for almost a year and she decided one day that she couldn't do it anymore. Finding a new T is hard, but I know it's possible because after a few here and there testing the waters with some other T's, I landed in a good place. My wish for you is that you will land someone soft, warm and...Read More...

((Armored Heart)) Your heart is SO kind. Thank you from mine to yours. I really look forward to getting to know you and sharing in some of our stories together.Read More...

***UPDATE**** So I did go see the new T yesterday. It was odd but ultimately it went well. First I did talk to the T in my dbt group and she was so nice. She is the consultation group with the T who dumped me. She basically told me that they don't judge her but that she failed me as a therapist. I guess that's how it is seen when it doesn't work out in dbt therapy. They don't see it as the clients fault but rather as the therapists fault. She said that Nancy told them that it was too close...Read More...

The organisation I work for; which has a very diverse workforce in terms of race, sexual preferences, religion and disability etc; has a very progressive view of mental health issues. There are 'in house' counsellors for staff who might suffer PTSD following work related incidents, depression, anxiety etc; and have just launched a new initiative on the companies intranet called "living with" where staff are encouraged to post their experiences. So far there have been articles on depression...Read More...

Ninna: When I read your post, I immediately thought of this dove commercial.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk I believe that when we are bullied or made fun of, we feel judged our entire lives. But what we have trouble understanding is how the world truly sees us, just how beautiful we really are. I really think you are a beautiful person, especially how open and raw you are in writing this painful experience. It takes a lot of strength to do that. I hope this video helps a...Read More...

TW*** Discusses ED’s, food and weight AH, Thanks so much for understanding and for wanting to push my BIL down some steps. (mostly kidding ) And you’re right, one of the reason I have so appreciated BN’s boundaries is that he has provided me with an up close look at how they function and how to set them. But as for my BIL learning anything, no holding of breath here... I am sorry that you had to experience that with your dad. My memories of my dad were of him telling me I wasn’t attractive...Read More...

I loved that!Read More...

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((RT)) Hope all is wellRead More...

((AG)) No problem! Please feel free to use any as you like, I love knowing they are helpful and meaningful to others I will put more up as I remember or find them, I've been a collector for some time AHRead More...

OK, about Trevor As the thread is called last post is the winner, last October we decided we needed a trophy. On 5th November a certain "Iris" was holding said trophy and gave it the name 'Trevor'!! It sort of stuck and little Trev has become one of the family here. He never posts anything but we all have a turn at looking after him!Read More...

Hi Mallard, at the moment, I really feel like I am just going through the motions. I do feel they are finally motions that are in my own best interest, but the reality of what I've refused to accept for so long is really starting to sink in, and it hurts so badly. I've hurt before; I know that's part of progress. I'm very mad at him, and I'm just so sad at the way I've allowed myself to be treated for so long. I must be more aware of my own actions and needs going forward. I could have...Read More...

Hi R2G, Yeah as I read your post I was like "that so sounds like low iron" Did you get the burning tongue, constant sighing or yawning, falling asleep easily no matter what is going on? etc?? One thing you may want to check out is if your body is able to absorb iron taken orally. The best thing I ever did was get a series of iron infusions. I got five of them over five weeks and I am telling you I am a totally new person!! It helped me in ways I didn't even think it would. The list is long...Read More...

awe hugs hun... but you did some good sharing.. how is he? will he be back soon? Touching that he cried with you... but how do you feel about that? Take gentle care.Read More...

To everyone, Thank you so much. Your replies helped tremendously. Seriously helped. I'm short on words right now (as usual) but just wanted you to know that I have read them.Read More...

You can, and you are!Read More...

Hi Cat, I certainly relate to hating having a body. As far as I can remember, it has mostly caused me feelings of distress, shame, weakness, repulsiveness, failure, etc. Rare occasions where it has caused me pleasure, never weigh up to all the negative experiences it gives me. I hate it because it makes me feel so weak. I am so frustrated because I feel I’ve been struggling forever to stay on my feet, to ‘function’ in life but it just keeps – literally – weighing me down. I get very sad when...Read More...

((Hollow)) I liked reading it, even if you wrote it for you (most of what I write is for me too - I find giving advice to be very healing as... it's often stuff I believe but don't tell myself or believe I'm so curious exception). Even a smile, or a thank you, or hell... picking up your DOG CRAP unlike this one careless dog owner here who theft their pet's business on my rocks can make a difference in someone's day, which leads to a year, to a decade, to a life, etc. It's all that "we're all...Read More...

BIM, My ending was a fairy tale ending (one that I like to believe came after the harrowing quest part of the story ) because it was an ending I choose. My T and I also spent a lot of time prior to my ending dealing with and allow me to process the things evoked by planning on leaving. And there were things I did not learn until after I left. But my first T retired before we were done our work together. I had once disappeared on her without a word earlier in our work and had promised both...Read More...