Cat. I'm sorry you are going through this... You do body work? I always wondered about that.. is it another T you go to?Read More...

I haven't written here in a long time but this particular thread really struck a chord with me. I have worked through a lot in the almost 2 years I've been seeing T. For a long time there was this intense attachment/transference that I could not let go of. I felt I NEEDED to be near her, to be close to her, to KNOW her constantly and deeply. And knowing I could not was what made it a thousand times worse. Now, I have worked hard and am largely over this intense feeling, but I have a...Read More...

WANT! Muff, that really is beautiful. this is a lesson i'm very slowly learning ... that there is no "right" or "wrong" way. life is a smorgasboard and it's okay to try one item, and maybe it'll agree with you but maybe it won't, and that either way it's okay, so long as you learn from it. my mentality in life has more often than not been about being afraid of choosing incorrectly, to the point of not having any faith in my choices, to the point of NOT making cognitive choices but rather...Read More...

i don't often remember my dreams, but when i do, and particularly when they are dreams with T in them, i talk to him about them and he'll ask me what i think they're about and often-times i haven't a clue, but the interpretations i get from him, i believe, are spot on. and although his interpretations aren't necessarily immediately helpful, they do inspire me to ponder the meanings more thoroughly. i find dream-analysis both fascinating and helpful, and i appreciate the thought that T gives...Read More...

Hmmm...you've asked some good questions, Cat. The relationship between myself and the group has been their giving me a lot of care. What I hadn't thought of is I don't have a circle of different types of friends, so detaching myself would mean going back to isolation and hibernation. Relationships are so very difficult and scary and after a time, I just wanna run as far and fast I can in the other direction. I sometimes feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Being around people...Read More...

Yes, Cheryl is great! A couple of my friends used her "Gandhi/Buddha" song in their wedding. I also like "If it were up to me" (also sung by Holly Near)Read More...

Deleted.Read More...

I used to have that same issue too, About. It was hard for me to feel things in session, but I would feel them after. I don't think that's containment though. It's more like suppression. Containment is when you can feel your feelings but it feels safe and not too overwhelming to feel them.Read More...

True story.Read More...

Hi TN, That's interesting, I'm an oldest w/ a 3yr old younger (brother). He was always quiet (I was/am absolutely in love with him) and a little quirkier than me. Where I'm more out going and confident, and curious. His weaknesses caused my parents to think very highly of him - that he was more sensitive, more artistic, and better w/ just about everything or forgiven for many things. I tend to find myself a lot "less" than others and maybe that is related - as i comparison to other clients I...Read More...

Wow... so glad you all like it. R2G... I've been listening to Roar as well. Seems lately there is a lot of girl empowering music out there with most of Katy's songs, Adele's Rumor Has It, and now Brave. If you look at the charts and the music award shows most of the star performers are women (like them or not) there is Pink, Lady Gaga, Rhianna, Beyoncé, Celine, Katy, Taylor Swift, Adele and of course Madonna. I'm sure I forgot some but it's great to see. TNRead More...

I don't like it when T uses the words Brave ProudRead More...

what is the weight (wait) that you ponder? only you can know, if there even is such a thing. maybe you're okay as is. only you can know.Read More...

Thank you so much Muff, TN, and Liese for your loving encouragement and support. Besides the grief I shared about, Liese hit the nail on the head that a natural part of the loss I am feeling right now is seeing the whole impermanence of significant family relationships. I lost my MIL last summer and loved her very much. She was a good mother to me and it was so incredibly painful to watch her life fall apart one thread at a time in the end (she was 87). Despite that she had begun to...Read More...

Okay TN, this is a GREAT idea and I may have to steal it!Read More...

Thank you everyone. I was very lucky to have encountered J when I did. Sometimes I think making progress in therapy is not always down to training, intellect or anything that tangible; more two souls able to connect, imperfectly. J wasn't my solution or my salvation but she was a very important figure in my life, and a key piece in the jigsaw puzzle that has ended up being my path towards feeling more comfortable in my own skin. I am glad I got to tell her I was okay and our last meeting was...Read More...

There was a quote by Sigmund Freud that I read a while back that resonated with this topic: "I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection". I gave that to my T in a card for father's day. TNRead More...

Well, you ARE special, Seedling. I just don't know that it's the reason for her wanting to tape sessions.Read More...

Hi Kid. I haven't had much to say for myself lately, but I wanted to thank you for posting this, because you so nicely expressed what I've been thinking but too timid to write. This is a great place to learn and get support and to learn how to give support. I'm glad we (you, Li'l One, and me) found it! RabbitEarsRead More...

The Court's decision is so very reassuring! Good to hear the homefront is better and very good to see you posting again ((MH)).Read More...

((RT)) I'm so sorry, sigh... I'm not sure if I have any suggestions, just support My #1 when I think about leaving a T is that they have all this info... and the exhaustion of starting again. But... sometimes new starts lead to wonderful things. I'm sorry you are limited by your insurance (know what that is like!). Maybe you needed more time w/ xT to coordinate termination, so it didn't/doesn't feel so painful, but, I don't think a termination goes without grief and pain - even the most well...Read More...

Hi Draggers, I totally get what you mean - what you wrote reminded me of that sense of being held that I experience fleetingly when I allow myself to breathe in my T's presence. Thank you for sharing xxxRead More...

Wow, that is a good question. AG's answer was a good one, but unfortunately I have not been good at reining myself in when it comes to jumping to conclusions prematurely and sprinting away with them as if my interpretations were written in the Bible. It has been a long process trying to train myself to even recognize when I am doing it, and learning to withhold judgments despite my insecurities and tendency toward fight/flight all the time. What I have learned is that I cannot trust my...Read More...

As soon as you said the word "supervision" I already got rid of this T for you!!!! Major trigger for me as it was oldT's supervisor who demanded I be terminated so with my new T every times she says the word - i am off into terror mode. T still triggers me when she says the word as she is part of a peer supervision group. So for me it would be an absolute No for me for my new and old T to be in the same group. nothing about this guy sounds great Turtle. You would get a feel if he was going...Read More...

I am not a huge fan of parental analogy in relation to a therapist because I think it helps give the therapist more power than they actually do and certainly more than they should believe they have. Clients are most assuredly not children and the therapist does not get to act like a parent towards a client, but if one wants to consider them in that sort of position, then another way of looking at it is how children run to the parent and then away from the parent and then look back to make...Read More...