Hi everyone, Thanks for your responses. I am not questioning whether my T cares about me or wants to see me. I know that he does. I guess I was wondering how this then translates to the real world because I know it's supposed to? He puts up with my stuff because it is his job. People in the real world don't have to. If I were to offend them or hurt them they could just stop being my friend or whatever but T won't. Cat: I agree that this is like a parent/child relationship in that we...Read More...

As CD would say,'DAMN RIGHT!'Read More...

Hi Jones, Sincere condolences on the loss of your good friend. I have learned recently that grief takes many forms and even changes while you go through it and some of it makes no sense at all. I think being mindful about the grief you experience and looking at it to see where it fits best will help in the end. I think it's something to understand but it can't be controlled and has it's own timetable. Having someone to listen is invaluable. Thinking of you TNRead More...

Hi anna... I agree that the partner may be going somewhere and your T is not. After all he has a practice to look after. I would bring up the topic of how you are afraid of losing him or being abandoned in the middle of doing this work and ask for reassurance from him. Maybe ask for a standing appointment or some future appointments. Hopefully, he will reassure you that he is not going anywhere. TNRead More...

Thanks TN, we cross-posted and T did write back. I also got out of the house to exercise and got groceries. I think it will feel much better when I see him Monday and know for sure things are the same. I do know I can affect him, because he cares. My T has only demands I look at him once, during a huge rupture. At the time, it was terrifying, but I'm grateful for it now. He's been slowly pushing me harder to really engage with the safety that is there. It's...so hard...important, but hard.Read More...

((((GREENEYES)))) It makes sense that as we integrate more, the more we feel. I can see a huge progression from when you first started to post to now. It's like you were blocking the feelings before and now you are letting them in. It's such tough work. You are in good hands. Your T sounds very special.Read More...

Sounds like it might be meds adjustment time, RT. Are you remembering to breath?Read More...

Never drink the stuff~~cough.Read More...

Yeah Outsider don't forget the ragtop & a roll barRead More...

Hi (((Liese))) and thanks for the words. T and I had a hard, but very helpful conversation about what transpired. Basically, I learned, once again, that T is human and fallible. I think that's one of my favorite thing about T - the humanness that T shows on a fairly regular basis. I've had Ts in the past that do email and/or texting. I've had Ts in the past that don't disclose at all. I've had Ts that hug, that hold my hand, that have held me when I cried. I've had Ts that overshare. I've...Read More...

Jeez Jones, you really have got a lot of rejection going on in your life ATM~ The perceived rejection of a friend to death. Rejection of hubby, and your Ma to illness. Your cup runneth over? Much anger is being 'swallowed.' Apart from sharing it with us, and nutting it out with your T, there is not much more than can be done. Must away with my own probs. I wish you a speedy return to 'normality.'Read More...

This is interesting. Does she go on to say what happened or what she discovered about this? My first thought was it was the therapist's lack of skill in not managing the client's processing of these memories/emotions. Perhaps, also, depth psychoanalysis isn't for everyone.Read More...

I think reiki is a good idea. I think seeing the therapist's sister is not a good idea unless she was the only reiki person within a large radius that you could see. I would not tell the therapist about anyone else I see as I would not believe it was any of the therapist's business who else I saw and in what capacity I saw them.Read More...

(((MONTE))) I have struggled with this myself and know how frustrating this can be and how illusive a solution seems. Why not change the focus and talk to T about what he does to "cause" your hurt? You know how it is when we focus on something that is just out of reach and how that can actually frustrate the process. It might be just the way he is but it will help you understand better why you react the way you do and the things people IRL (or in the past) do that hurt you and why. For...Read More...

Thanks everyone for all your comments. Sorry I didn't mean to drop this thread but wanted to talk to T more to clarify. One thi g she said is that she doesn't like to diagnose anyone w/ DID even if they have it bec it carries such a stigma to it. She would call it PTSD before DID. She also says she doesn't feel comfortable handing out diagnosis's bec we try to stick w/ a treatment plan, which can change as things come up. Now I have to say this female T is working very closely to my other...Read More...

Shakes head, N green.Read More...

Goodness ugh!Read More...

You lot crack me up!!Read More...

Well, it's the evening after now and I've been feeling emotional today, but not really in a bad way. Just that I am feeling the significance of this place in my life, I guess. Thinking about how much it has meant to me to do the work T and I did together, how getting to do that and know her has been one of the most precious things, if not the very most precious thing I've experienced in my whole life. I wish there were someone around who could understand what I'm feeling. I feel more...Read More...

Hi Red Tomato I think she's recommending a man because both my ex-husband and father were emotionally unavailable to me. And in particular I've carried my father's emotional distance with me all my life. My first reaction to a man therapist was to say NO, as I wouldn't want to end up falling in love with him or anything but she says that wouldn't happen as the T she has in mind is very boundaried and I do need that as my experience with old T has shown me how weak my boundaries are...Read More...

I definitely have some sort of trauma or PTSD from my SE therapist. It's changed how I relate, charged my fears and causes me still to have flashbacks (to related material, not her) and avoid a number of things. Sometimes all the emotions from the things that happened come up and leave me anxious and insomnia ridden for days. Ts make mistakes and deal with very raw and vulnerable material and people - they will trigger and cause hurt as part of the process (and being human) and our reactions...Read More...

That's about it. Slowly, slowly.Read More...

Cat, I've primarily worked on DBT with my T so the ultimate goal of my therapy was to work on mindfulness. Volunteering is one method, but certainly not the only or best one. It just important that you find ways to stay engaged in and more aware of the world around you and not get caught up in your own thoughts for too long. Often in the past, like you, just getting out of the house to do anything was work for me. So finding a place where you're comfortable is important. It doesn't need to...Read More...