RT - I have a hard time understanding my T sometimes. I think it is me - I am so screwed up I can't understand her. She keeps telling me my ED makes perfect sense. She completely understands why it makes sense to me to not allow myself to eat and to punish myself. But then she tries to make me see how that is hurting me and how it is not helping things. I don't know. Is that empathy - understanding where I'm at and then trying to help me find a reason to move on? I'm sorry you feel your T...Read More...

She pegs herself, when asked, as eclectic but primarily Rogerian. I know she works in a lot of CBT-ish techniques and interventions as well, depending on the client and the issue. So, I wouldn't say that she doesn't use the relationship, but she tends to use it in a more limited (imho) and hear and now-ish sense. She doesn't do a lot with symbolic aspects of the transference, or making the kinds of interpretations that would extrapolate outwards from our relationship to the rest of me.Read More...

iCan'tStandIt...Read More...

(((Draggers))) Thanks, that's a good point. No one else has said anything to me. Then again, these people talk $#!+ behind peoples' backs all the time and I have to try really hard not to get drawn into it. I don't think it's shame so much as fear that causes me to want them to never know. (((Ang))) Thanks for the reassurances. My mom knows I'm in therapy, she thought it was just for marriage stuff, because the event that initially caused me to have to go was related to H. So, she asked...Read More...

Thanks puppet, I'm sorry I didn't see. Its ok, just therapy issues!Read More...

Lola, Mudd and closed doors, thank you so much for your help. I will be thinking how can I make it happen financially... though difficult. I can bring a date home, my mom would not mind, except that I won't feel comfortable and I know She will feel left out... such is life. I like the Coelho quote and I think, I will need to think outside the box in this case if I want to find a solution here... I am praying that somehow I am inspired to find it soon one way or another.... thanks again for...Read More...

(((muffaletta))) i hope you're not saying what i think you're saying. but if you are, i'll never have a chocolate mint anything without thinking about you. be well and stay well. but i still hope you're not saying what i think you're saying. p.s. the song is nothing less than marvelous and a perfect tribute to your stay here. i'll be looking up ms. madeleine Peyroux and enjoying some of her other stuff. thanks for culturing me.Read More...

Hi all, and thanks again to everyone for being so supportive. I just wanted to update this post as I have been to see my doctor. It was completely uneventful as I chose to go with not raising the issue. His demeanor didn't seem particularly different, just normal. My pdoc is personable enough but very direct, so I'm going with the assumption if he knew it was me 100% and felt it neccessary, he wouldn't hesitate to bring it up. My real email/name wasn't used, so I don't know that he could...Read More...

Latte PLS? Hold the bicky.Read More...

i felt like i was along the adventuresome ride right along-side ya. i am in my glory during escapades such as that one. loved it, and thanks for sharing!Read More...

It is a play ground for all us hurt kids.Read More...

It looks like separation anxiety Kid. Lil one would feel it from the past, and you would feel it when T is unavailable to you. It feels like a loss of connection to anyone, The Alone. Those feelings do tend to come and go. A cute poosle Kat in the pic.Read More...

I went through something similar with regard to my own T. A few months in, I got caught up in a really powerful transference, which I found profoundly scary. Without really thinking about what the consequences would be for me, I did some research on the internet. I stumbled across information about her family. Nothing very concrete or private but enough for me to really feel bad that I'd tried to look her up. Cue a lot of angsty introspection on my part! I think like you Cat, I was more...Read More...

SD I think you handled things very well and you are very respectful of boundaries. Your T knows this and I'm glad you went to say hi. It's also a very good sign of your relationship that you can discuss this and not ignore it. And yes, those darn anniversaries do make us extra sensitive and emotional as they approach. It's like those feelings of loss and abandonment reawaken in August and put you on alert. I am trying to get past those horrible memories while grieving the loss of someone so...Read More...

Hey TN Not sure about you, but at the moment I am very edgy and very trigger prone and pretty sure it is because of the termination anniversary. Things are coming up everywhere from every direction. I had no idea i was so delicate about it. I also have a lot of traumatic things happening in my life right now - as you do with C's passing and the grief - all of the things are having a negative impact and making things worse. I imagine you are in the same boat. THinking of you. SomedaysRead More...

Thanks, everyone. I appreciate everyone reading my posts. He said he would delete it in session- he says he wants me to hear me- but I hesitate b/c I hate the sound of my voice. I was thinking of finding a list of emotion words- it`s obvious he won`t teach me any new ones, so if that`s what he wants, I`ll have to do it myself. Sheesh!Read More...

Muff What a fantastic story! I envy the freedom you had & the many places to go. Sounds like great fun. I always love your stories MudddddRead More...

Hi Melba and The Kid, Thank you both for your understanding. I read a while ago that pain is pain and that advil helps with emotional pain. So, I took some a little while ago and guess what? I feel better. I can't believe it. Maybe it's all psychological but who cares, right?Read More...

(((SD))) LOL! Me too! It's tough stuff. (((CD))) There are parts of Burgo that I do appreciate and parts I don't. I suppose we do see a softer side of them. (((MONTE))) Thanks for pointing that out. It's probably true that their kids are envious of us as well. Thanks to everyone for being there, letting me express my feelings without judging and helping me to work through it. Hopefully work through it.Read More...

Hi Kid... this was wonderful to read. TNRead More...

and more than a bit stubborn, i fear. i'm working on it, though. thanks for thinking about me and saving me a piece!Read More...

What a lovely thing to say HCRead More...

A little pot of emotional freedom awaits us at the end of the rainbow Blu. Our dream. We will fly!Read More...

Thank you, kmay. I really appreciate your saying that. I'm still digesting all that's been said on this thread. My brain is working overtime, even though I am now on an indefinite break from therapy. My instincts said I needed a break, and even though my T did not agree or approve, I took it. For me, exercising my right to walk away for a while feels more empowering than anything else I've done in the last 2 months. Thanks again (((((kmay)))) RabbitEarsRead More...

I'm battling this too right now BLT. So exhausted and it's not 103 degrees here. Doing anything takes all my energy. We are having houseguests next weekend and I don't know how I'm going to survive that. Doesn't help that I'm feeling detached from T. I hope you feel better. TNRead More...