Hi Kid... I hope you make a small step and venture out this weekend. You may be surprised at how great you feel after you do this. Fresh air and sunshine always help. Let us know how it goes. TNRead More...

glad to hear itRead More...

That must have been heartbreaking! I understand exactly what you wrote, it's like I on the one hand what more, but part of me is also praying she doesn't fold. Which I know she won't. But what is this ambiviance all about :-(Read More...

I had a similar session today, not as intense as yours, and about fear. I am afraid of everyone now because of how I had to live in fear for the first 20 years of my life in order to survive. I am frustrated that after so many years of therapy and many positive experiences there and with other people in my life I still live in fear. T told me it takes a long time to heal from trauma that deep and I will have to constantly remind myself that the person I am dealing with now is NOT the person...Read More...

So he's just sent me a message saying that it would be a good idea for me to bring to our next session the notes I've made in order to review them (he knows I keep notes of all our sessions). That sounds like a review so that we can have an end session to me. What, after all of this he decides to terminate me? I don't think I can stand that and it would be all my own fault.Read More...

Oops. Sorry! I had no idea. Sorry, everyone. RabbitEarsRead More...

Monte, this is so true. I also tend to focus and obsess over what I can't get from my T, what is missing and what seems too enormous for him to provide ... and then I don't look at what he does give me... which is something very precious on it's own. It's just that when he says something that maybe mom should have said to me... I struggle to even hear it. I tend to just gloss over what he says without taking it in. T will notice and then go back to it helping me to absorb what he is telling...Read More...

((((TAS)))) I'm so sorry that he hurt you so much. It sounds like it might be a good thing for you to acknowledge that he might not be the most sensitive person in the universe. Maybe you have been stuffing his insensitivity much to your own detriment? Do you go to marriage counseling together? Is he willing? Would he go on his own to individual therapy? I have that from my H but let me tell you that that security comes with a very high price tag. IMO, it means that I have to make the same...Read More...

sounding good muff esp if can be titrated with salted caramel eclair and french coffee every 4 hours!Read More...

Yes, it does feel right. It always has.Read More...

When it comes to the need to vent rage, there is very little logic.Read More...

We are not emotionally dependent on our dentist and GP. Therefore, T's rejection ( perceived or real) triggers our repressed anger. "Whenever this happens, I go through the same cycle of anxiety followed by hurt, then a kind of freezing over and indifference to T " That cycle *is* therapy to me.Read More...

Hey Catalyst, I actually enjoy my phone sessions, but then, I was one of those preteens that spent hours everyday jabbering on the phone with my friends, so it's a mode of communication I'm pretty comfortable with. I think in a way phone conversations can be more intimate than talking with someone in person, because their voice is right there in your ear, speaking directly into your brain, as it were. And without all the non-verbal cues, the nuances of the voice are more weighted with...Read More...

Thank you for your answers, it is very helpful and just feels I am not entirely alone on this planet. Cat: thanks. Some part of me agrees with you, but... not everything. Because maybe it teaches me not to be dependent (at all) on people, and that I must not let myself do that... I don't know. Or maybe I am trying to make sense of her non-answer because it is less hurtful. I don't know... Thank you a lot. Jillann: you're very right, and she's probably on holidays. I just wished I knew for...Read More...

Thank you (((Liese))) AV.Read More...

Knock yerself out with it GE.Read More...

Loud music does appear to stop thought, until we hear something that will trigger it, and then.. emotion. I shall watch the washing go round, and around, and around~ ugh!Read More...

Thanks Muff. I do appreciate the encouragement anyway. I guess we'll see how it goesRead More...

After having dinner with the family last night, came home feeling utterly distressed. Today I see T. I left her a v/m last night and sent her an email so she knows how desperate things feel. She also knows li'l one and I are feeling quite anxious about seeing her after her vacation. She responded early this morning to say she understands how I feel and heard how upset I am and really looks forward to seeing both of us this afternoon. I just want to hide under the covers and not go to work.Read More...

Now that's a job that appeals AV.Read More...

Hi Kid Hi Li'l One I'm pretty much alone too. It's nice not to have to hide feelings in your own home, but sometimes it gets scary too, hearing your own sobs and nothing else and feeling all alone... I think this is where you two work together, talk to each other, hold each other, and build up a pretty strong friendship, because you're seeing each other through the worst of times... Plus there's all of us here, and somehow just from reading your words, I know you're lovable. I hope you can...Read More...