Hollow, I can relate to what you're saying here. When this happens for me it's usually feeling vulnerable, then an immediate need to protect myself. Protecting myself would come out to be my focusing on my T rather than in myself in a way... I don't know how really to explain. Connection can be so terrifying and I really do think downward and upward spirals is a great way to express the feelings... it describes what I went through perfectly. Have you talked to him about this stuff at all?Read More...

Cat Really like the idea of not being identified & staying in like a "3rd party" situation. Thanks! Draggers Thank you for those blog links. They were really interesting to read & helpful. Thank you!!Read More...

Rejection is like an emotional soup/brew/cuppa of feelings. Loss, anger rage, sadness,fear, confusion, anything can be thrown in.Read More...

thanks to all who have replied i really appreciate it but please forgive me for not replying sooner i have been really busy my wife and i have a small homestead and im trying to go to school full time on top of that well to what you said Amber I find it such a tragedy that she has never processed or dealt with her stuff. While I am 52 and still working at healing, she doesn't even probably see that she needs to heal i didnt see i need to heal till i was 56and then for a month i did nothing...Read More...

I feel so unable to contain the hurt. I sent a rant email back to T. She replied saying she's sorry she didn't see that things had gone very wrong for me and that had sent me back to a very young time when I couldn't put it into words but wanted someone to make it ok for me. I'm not sure I'm even sure that's what's going on. I feel a desire to eat & eat. To put something 'inside' of me.Read More...

what thread was it, draggers?Read More...

FAV!!!Read More...

Hang in there Kid, as RT says one day at a time.Read More...

I agree. It will be a very different matter in session though.Read More...

Art in most forms does, doesn't it Blu? Can you see the PASSION in their very being when the artist's perform? They are in a 'zone,' and they take us to where they are in it. Soul communicating to soul?Read More...

Enjoy!Read More...

' I tried to speak but had no memory of the events prior to resignation. I couldn't formulate any words to converse with him. ' This part of my dream is pre verbal, I think. I do remember it was very frustrating not to have the ability in the dream to communicate how I felt to my father/image. " 'Boss' was too busy refurbishing and cleaning her ivory tower to notice me." This could also be pre verbal. It was a knowing my mother/image was not available to me emotionally. In that dream,I...Read More...

Thanks for this thought, cat. I think it helps explain some of what's been going on for me too. T tells me to stop focusing on the process, but I keep saying these feelings are part of the process...aren't they??? Confusing. RabbitEarsRead More...

Hollow and Melba, I am so sorry it has taken me so long to respond, but I truly appreciate your replies. Hollow, this hit home with me: I am so happy you shared this, because I definitely feel this from my therapist. He is always calmly accepting of whatever I have told him, which I will now look at as a wonderful type of reassurance (although I would still love to hear the reassuring words from him Melba, When I get the courage to bring up the issues I am fearful to talk about, I hope my...Read More...

'ey, they would at that.Read More...

it is too bad he wasn't put on keppra a year ago. saturday should be interesting. keep us posted.Read More...

LOL, good way of putting it Cat. Yearn away Cat but don't wish too much for what you want or..... In the meantime lots of cuppa's, and might help.Read More...

anna - I have, sometimes it would be to check in daily. which helped, my T will sometimes suggest it if i'm feeling like a bother, just so i can pick up feeling 'okay' with it again, then it goes down. i check in via voicemail... and i say how i'm doing, or if/if not i need contact back, etc. i think it's okay to say how you feel not just make everything sound okay. it's also okay to check in even when you ARE totally fine or just WANT contact, if it helps keep you stable and your T is okay...Read More...

((cogs)) it may still be possible. I think needing touch to facilitate emotional expression can be tricky (like your T would need to touch you every session for emotional release to occur? Since, I guess... maybe to be emotionally free with yourself there needs to be a way to 'get things out' w/o others? Heck if I know.... maybe that is the reservation? I have access to ask for touch pretty freely - but with that I have to track where I'm at. Sometimes it's too activating or too calming...Read More...

I think this is right, muff. I fear it is! I don't want to go through another episode like this last one, but so far, transference has been the only way I've accessed feelings from the past in session. I think it's going to be a long trip. RabbitEarsRead More...

Hi Mayo...I'm curious to know what makes you say feelings can't be trusted...Read More...

Yep that is me I can actually feel the pre-vomit anxiety and how hard I usually try to keep it from happening. Fantastic analogy!Read More...