I gettcha CD, and thanks.Read More...

Likes: G'day Blu!Read More...

Athenacus, if i'm not a creeper then you're not pathetic! you just happen to care alot about your old T, that's not such a bad thing. thanks for sharing your experience, kmay. i know it'll heal after some time, it just feels like after 7 months i'd have gotten over by now. thanks for the hug!Read More...

Also, RT and RM, thank you for your input. It helps to know others recognize this process of finding and feeling emotions in session. I think part of me thought the whole thing was some theoretical mumbo-jumbo made up and endorsed by Ts RabbitEarsRead More...

((((RT)))) I'm so sorry you are going thru so much pain right now! I hope your T gets back to you soon. bluRead More...

My T told me that there was much healing and learning in walking together through those very, very low, dark times. T's goal would not be to jump to calling 911, but instead work through it and only if we can't, and only if I can't be safe or follow a plan, she will do anything it takes to keep me safe. That makes me feel good that someone cares that much. It makes me feel safe. And, I am learning that walking together through these times is a lot easier than going it alone.Read More...

(((Outsider))) - Thank you. Peanut - Thank you. You know when I finally talked to T about it, she said that it would be best for her to write a summary instead of giving all the detail. I started thinking about that in terms of my protection, instead of assuming she doesn't have any notes and it made more sense. There was a lot of stuff that "could" be in the notes that I probably don't want new T to see. Either way, I'm just not ready for it all yet. I sort of feel like a theray failureRead More...

I'm in an area that was slammed by storms last night and have no power so I'm constrained in my ability to respond to each of you but want to say thanks for sharing your wisdom, insight, experiences and encouragement.Read More...

WOW Summer, what you wrote resonated with me. that happens to me and I hadn't realised it until I read your words and it unlocked it for me. SDRead More...

At some point in therapy when we have listened to what the child within has been through, we become that child emotionally. That is the time our adult self begins to "mother" the child within. It is at this stage in therapy when we start to let go of our dependence on our therapist, and any other 'attachment'figure. The child self might feel it will fall into the abyss and disappear, but she/he has a life long friend in its adult self~ The self that first reached out to therapy for help.Read More...

(((BLT))) oh, i totally get that! like, WHY did i allow you to become SO important to me?!? shame on me! i can never rely on somebody else for anything, i am self-sufficient! the thing is, we DO develop very strong attachments to our Ts, and it IS very scary to think of living life without them. and maybe we hate them for that. it's all such painful stuff. i'm thinking about you.Read More...

Jill, I view (and sometimes viewED) my body as a thing, an object, to destroy and punish. I understand you there! DBT may be really helpful, that is what they did at my IOP program for eating disorders (modified from being for BPD to more ED related). Still the management of emotions is paramount.. It also depends where you are in your recovery, because GE is right about needing a relationship. Not always though, I went in to my IOP program with no relationships at all - I knew my T for 1...Read More...

Thanks for all the encouragement everybody; it was hard to know if that was all OK to share. I'm having a really hard time dealing with the shift inside right now (CD, as you said, it scares me to death!). I feel like I have no idea how I got here, to a place I think I must have promised myself I would never be, because of the risk of it. But, I know T is risking a lot too, not working with me in traditional ways for many people in his profession (although I know some do work how he is with...Read More...

Jillann, I hope the fog will go away. I think it's just your body/brain getting used to the new chemical guests I'm not on Celexa or any other antidepressant now. Over the last 15 years or so, I've tried Prozac, Celexa, and Cymbalta. I liked Celexa best, because I felt more like myself on that than on the others. Prozac made me kind of "speedy"--did not feel good to me. So, for me, the beginning side effects with Celexa were nasty, but then I liked the overall, long-term effect of the drug...Read More...

Thank you Outsider Thank you for your kind words...he is very firm and though I may not like him too much of the time, I do respect him because he is firm... Sometimes the important thing is we get what we need and not necessarily what we want... It's good to know Outsider that you relate and you've had similar experiences...sometimes the journey feels so lonely. T.Read More...

hi hurting... welcome to the Board. Are you currently in therapy? I don't know much about you but if you were abused throughout your childhood then you may be attracted to partners that have some of the traits of your parents (because they feel familiar to you) and you end up with partners who are abusive. This is very common. There is also something called repetition compulsion where you put yourself in situations that are repetitions of what happened in childhood with the idea that THIS...Read More...

Thank you Quell, TN, and Monte, I will write more of a response when I have some time. Just wanted to say thank you.Read More...

Thank you guys! I'm still feeling absolutely crummy and crushed right now It's hard to talk about because... the emotions are so deep and so... painful. ((Jones)) It is a hole... I'm sorry you went through such the same thing w/ Manatee. I am trying to switch the perspective. I have mantras, I have little tags in my house that say 'I forgive' so I'm reminded... I don't want resentment in my heart and there is a lot there. I hope the relief was from that she was failing, she was just so cold...Read More...

I can relate. My MIL relieved me of a few hours of single mommyhood with H out of town and commented I could go hang out with friends, and I kind of laughed, because I really don't have any, not in that way, not that (can) reciprocate. I often feel unconnectable lately. I give up trying easily too. T reassures me I'm not unrelateable or unconnectable. I may just be unconnectable because I'm so triggered by closeness that I run, or that I just can't feel it when others are connecting with me,...Read More...

That's courage. Good for you, Jillann!Read More...

I started seeing a new t a few weeks ago. Things seem to be going fine. My mother has become very sick in the time we started and is close to death. The last session was extremely emotional for me as I discussed my mother. I had never cried before in front of him. While I was crying he didn't offer me a tissue. Then all he said was it is ok to struggle. I knew that he had a vacation planned. At the end of the session he ended ubruptly and said have a nice Memorial Day weekend. I felt so hurt...Read More...

mudd, i ran into this article awhile ago and it really spoke to me. it might help explain what's going on in your family dynamics. hang in there during your latest heart-break. i'm thinking about you designated issuesRead More...

Hi RT, She has given me an object to keep from her Sand Tray that I can look at/touch whenever I want. Yes, she does leave a backup resource available to me but, of couse, it's not the same. Unfortunately, due to very early (and serious) childhood attachment trauma, it doesn't take much to be triggered. I know she's trying to build my tolerance to people leaving, but because it's trauma based, it feels the same as it did when it happened. Ikm trying to divert thoughts, but that ain't the...Read More...

Under surely!!!Read More...

((TAS)) your T did mess up and you are entitled to your anger and panic. My T has pretty firm rules about outside contact. For me, they aren't about not needing him, the lack of contact between sessions helps me to a)ground myself in my real life with my family and b) hold my T as a good object. Earlier on in my journey when I had a lot of trouble with object constancy, the out of session contact helped. But it got to a point where I would contact him by email, phone or text and the short...Read More...