Thank you, RT and DR. I know for sure that my T isn't wanting me to move on or indeed asking me to find support to replace her. I did a hard, but sensible, thing and actually asked her! Although it was really difficult to hear that she wants to be with me and support me (because it makes me feel very uncomfortable while also knowing that its what I want more than anything), it has helped. I think I'd made up a whole set of ruiles in my head to protect myself that simply aren't necessary. I...Read More...

Oh yes, I find a ton of meaning and significance in my relationship with my home surroundings. I love decorating, painting, adding and subtracting things. The changes often mirror something in my internal world or express a value, so my home feels very much like an extension of me. It's my favorite place to be. I think my most recent change. . . I felt that the front of the house had too many right angles and looked too severe. Once something like that occurs to me it drives me crazy until I...Read More...

My brother, died 3 years ago, miss him.Read More...

(((TN)))Read More...

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I am truly sorry for any difficulty this post or any of my other posts have caused you. It certainly wasn't my intention. All the best, T.Read More...

One thing I know for sure is no one here knows what Tas's therapist is thinking or what his intentions are. When I started seeing my T she said she wanted to see me twice a week. Then as it turns out we only sometimes see each other twice a week because she is getting more busy etc. It is hard for me but of course I had to accept it or leave. I have so far accepted it. The T I had before this T called me every single day and talked to me. She did this even if I did not call her or email her.Read More...

Turtle, I can assure you that you had NOTHING to do with any friction on this Board. Hugs TNRead More...

Other than art i am pretty damn boring. It's my ace up my sleeve and even that doesn't impress me much anymore. In fact I kind of hate doing art now. It's too much pressure. I think I may be good at over eating. Is that cool? Probably not.Read More...

RedTomato - I love your username, btw. Regarding medication, that's what I thought too. If I was only able to not be affected so much by my issues, I would be able to think straight and work through them. Regarding honesty, that's, for me, one of the hardest parts for me to work through. Sometimes I feel like I tend to be two separate people: when at home, I'm more "myself" (meaning I can lash out and express my negative emotions more), but when I'm with the rest of the world, I tend to hold...Read More...

I find this fascinating! My current T's office has light green/light celery colored walls with white wood trim and a few framed pics of dog artwork. It is a carpeted room with three chairs (two next to each other and one across), a small window, a medium sized bookcase with her books and a clock. On top of the bookcase is her incense burner and aromatherapy thing. Also, her computer is on top of her desk in the far corner of the room. My former T's office had a tall bookcase with a ton of...Read More...

an update.... Last week I left a cell phone voice mail message for my former T (her personal voice mail-not her office voice mail). I didn't get a response back, but I didn't indicate in the message that I needed a call in return. I just called to thank her. I also let her know that I had been to a conference and saw an internationally known training therapist that she told me about a couple of years ago. I hope she wasn't upset or anything. I don't think she could be seeing as it was just a...Read More...

(((Poppy))) Thanks for the support. Things were much simpler (though too expensive) before I knew we had insurance. (((Irish))) This is actually already the state appeal. The state still has to reply to the insurance company, company but I don't think they can override it in this case, as it's not an issue of complete denial but a rate dispute. I think they are basically allowed to lie to us, because the federal law (ERISA) supersedes state law (which includes bad faith, according to the...Read More...

Hey Poppet: Was just going to reply but it looks like you already have concluded it would be too messy. I think what the others have mentioned about PMing would be okay though. CTLRead More...

I´m a little late to this but I just wanted to say what a nice post that was, TAS. I don´t know you well enough yet but it´s nice to know that we all have that sense of unity and solidarity through this. On my part, I have been bad about replying to things (and that is because they ignite triggers in me) but I´ll try to be better about that. Hug!Read More...

Yes I the T slasher strike fear in all T here! Protector of rights & profanity use. Long may it reign I'n my kingdom!!! (enter knight & shining armor to save me!) hello? CUT Oh well just very glad he's gone ThanksRead More...

Oh thank you so much CTL. Thank youRead More...

SomeDays I wish I could see it as positively as you. I know it's not the Therapists doing...but I still am pissed off over the the fact I have to go... Thank you T.Read More...

(((AG))) you've done what you can as far as reaching out, and perhaps even went over-and-above given the circumstances. i imagine none of it was easy, but you did it anyway. so kuddos to you! i am so sorry that she has been unresponsive. that must hurt alot (((AG))). she's your momma, and you're right ... you SHOULD be more more important to her than the way she's treating you. but as you know, that is her stuff. she's never dealt with it and so you suffer the brunt of it and it feels like...Read More...

Searching on love, trying to learn why I feel so the way I do, and this stood out to me. Makes a lot of sense, I just hadn't thought about it this way before. Thanks for this, and thanks for this post....Read More...

Anon that was great but I was smiling and thinking.... just wait until they are mutant, ninja TEENAGERS. Isn't parenting fun? Hugs to you (and yes YOU are doing a great job) TNRead More...

Cat, I've never discussed the idea that I would leave messages just because I want to. I usually call because I want to talk to him. I email thoughts when I just want to get them out of my head. I think my T is trying to get me to talk about my fear of his judgement while I'm in the session instead of leaving the session and emailing or calling out of fear. I haven't tried to discuss what being cared for feels like. Monte, it is nice to hear from you and I'm so sorry that my feelings...Read More...

I like the idea of an enclave. It sounds enclosed, safe and protected. But the title just doesn't jive. How about the situation nation? Or the situation territory? I really like the situation nation but .... the word nation connotes something a little different than a small protected space. I guess it could be a large protected space. Okay, obviously, I'm avoiding real life again.Read More...

I find this to be true, which is I why I am going into the caring profession. A total change of direction after losing my job.Read More...

((((CAT))) Oh yeah, you are such an old hag. Like a dried up prune. I'm going to tell you what my T says to me when I make similar statements: never say never.Read More...