Hi MsC, Thanks for your reply. It really is interesting and fortunate to learn that well into our adult years we still have the ability to lay down new neural pathways and affect changes to our behavior. I'm now facing the most difficult part of my therapy. Realizing how my alcoholic father really messed me up during my childhood. To answer your question my T doesn't specialize in PTSD/trauma per-say, but she does specialize in aspects directly connected with it (anxiety, depression,...Read More...

Ah... Sorry. I am a control freak! How I have learned to (slowly, painfully) control things and want to know systems and processes, etc has been learning how to trust myself/others and... Being willing to be in pain. It's also as trauma is processed. I feel less fear in the world. But I'd say im maybe only 10% along in getting this under control? t says it's gonna die hard!!! Hopefully I understand more!Read More...

Thank you for sharing HC. My mornings the past three days have been alot better. I asked my doctor to change my sleeping medication and that alone has helped incredibly. I have made it a point to have something planned for the day to get me out for a bit and get me moving so I don't have time to get stuck in my thoughts. And I am trying to adopt ElizaJs great attitude for looking at the morning as being just for me. It feels like special time when I am having my coffee and surfing the net in...Read More...

Maybe consider giving T a box of condoms as a "back-to-work" gift.Read More...

Hi Affinity - It sounds like these are hard times in your therapeutic work, and that you have a myriad of emotions that are ricocheting through your body. I am wondering, though, what you think your T meant when he said it would be "cruel" to incorporate touch into your therapy. I have had major problems with touch since I was a little girl, and I've been through lots of iterations in approaching the issue with a handful of therapists. With current T, whom I have been seeing since November,...Read More...

Thanks Caroola and Draggers I wont reply. It is more empowering not to as you say. It's kind that she left the door open. I'd be uncomfortable with a more personal reply, as it was relayed via a 3rd party!!! I'd feel kind of exposed. Her message was sent via someone at the main office. NHS - you'd not even get that! I'm not looking for a T at the moment. I might contact my ex-T again sometime, who knows.Read More...

Hi Ninn, thanks for sharing about the cards, maybe that would be a better idea than the stones. Sometimes things feel like a big commitment that I won't be able to get out of. Probably me just running away from my feelings again! It's great that your t like the cards so it might not feel strange bring them into your session.Read More...

Yes, I do respect my T. I value his opinion on things, I take what he says into account, even though it is hard for me to hear, at times. I value the fact that he challenges me on all different levels of my life, without coming off as a know-it-all. I've been lucky because I have respected all 3 of the T's I have had in my past. But, like others have said, I think the respect is mutual, too. LJBRead More...

Hi ElizaJ, I am not sure if I am going to phone him. My mind is trying to absorb the actual absurdity of it all. Literally it was like I was not even in the room after the client walked in and T was totally relaxed and like shifted gears, like I wasn't there. I am still like WTF HAPPENED. I don't feel particularly traumatized by it, I just don't understand what happened. I am angry that he didn't follow up with a phone call last night or today. It was just all so beyond weird. I sit here and...Read More...

Thank y'all for the encouragement. I am sorry y'all understand all to well. He did apologize. He did explain it and I understood. It could of happened to anyone but at the same time it could not have come at a worse time. I am angry and frustrated with myself as well for not talking about what I needed to. I let my emotions get the best of me and shut down. Now I have to try and deal with it till our next meeting. Surely I won't be as mad and upset then. Hopefully!Read More...

Hi Longroad. To be honest I am not sure I want him to know how much he hurt me. And im afraid to ask any questions as I dont believe he will answer them. Im also afraid to be honest in case he says something that will upset me or make me angry. I mean im already amgry as it is. I dont even think he could offer me a relationship because really I dont even know him. God its so weird having a father but not knowing anything about him apart from the fact that he was an alcoholic. Life is not fairRead More...

Hi SB. Im not sure where you are from but I guess its the UK? I just wanted to say that I understand where you are coming from. I had similar problem, not with the object but I couldnt open up to the counsellor. I saw 2 different counsellors and it wasnt working for me. I missed sessions every 2 or 3 weeks and in the end I stopped going. But then I found a counsellor who is amazing and I go and see him every week. It took me 9 months to find him. The sessions are through a church and its...Read More...

Hi Everyone, I want to thank you all for your input. Your willingness to share your experiences and opinions with me is a wonderful asset and helps me to more forward in my therapy. After two years my T and I are starting to look more closely at the root causes of my CPTSD and just what is was like for me growing up with an alcoholic, emotionally abusive father. I think for the next few sessions I'm going to focus more on her statements to better access the level of support I feel I'm...Read More...

PF, It is SO difficult when you are in your 30's and it seems that everyone around you has that already established group of girlfriends. I haven't moved recently like you, but I do feel like I have. When I started therapy and learning the meaning of healthy relationships, I started realizing that the friendships I did have around me were not so. I ended a few relationships, I let a few grow in distance, and I have tried to place others in a different category(maybe acceptance that our...Read More...

I love that blog. Thanks for posting this. Commitment. I have heard that word from my T, too. My word. My commitment. It feels good to know that she is there; committing to the work we are doing together. That's such an action of love, like the quote states." I needed to read this right now, so thank you again!Read More...

My rule of thumb is... If I have a lot of reservations or have to ask if I should bring it up... I should bring it up! Even if only to try to explore why it stuck with me. I think it's great to be sensitive to others and I think it's okay to mention and even to ask (because you can't know unless you do) how T felt. It's also good to explore the whole... Why am I apologizing thing. I feel shame or fear when I think I have said something wrong to someone I trust or love or is in authority due...Read More...

Somatic work is what I do in addition to my regular T. It has been an amazing supplement and helps me regulate intense sessions.Read More...

I had a back up T when my T was on vacation. My T actually arranged it with my consent. When I met with the new T it was mostly an hour of check in and stabilizing, nothing too deep. We talked about my anxiety and fears, and general triggers that were happening. It worked great. It didn't take away the separation pain, but it sure helped to keep me stable and knowing I had back up made things less chaotic.Read More...

Wow thanks everyone! AG I think I got lost on your blog reading for the last hour or so. How amazing you can speak all of that. At least on your blog. I have written everything in my journal about the last session. Maybe I should just bring that with me to the next one. I don't know if I could have him read it or if I can even read it out loud. Do y'all let your T read or do you read it to them?Read More...

Thank you CD. One step at a time and I believe we are all doing the best we can with what we know All the best, T.Read More...

Thanks Catalyst & Keins for checking in on me. It's been difficult to accept this loss. For a while I couldn't give up on the possibility that she'd come back. I think holding out for that didn't allow me to grieve, or it didn't set me free into the grieving process. This past week I found some acceptance. This has moved me forward in allowing the loss to fully sink in and be processed. I think I was in a great amount of shock for a very long time. I do ask myself "how is this possible?"...Read More...

thank you everyone for the replies… (((LR))) thank you for the acknowledgment of my courage and for bringing it up. Its been on my mind for months.. it was the right time i suppose. definitely had to have a few sips of brave before i said it out loud though … (((RM))) I'm sorry to had about your Dad. Feel free to share some more if you want too - no problem if you don't. (((SB))) in a funny kind of way though - i really do think i WOULD be dealing with my past losses by talking this through...Read More...

I've had a discussion with her about my concerns in therapy. She's adjusted her borderlines a bit, as she meant that she's available to meet each other in her room. Regarding "meeting outside", she's doubtful, because tried it some years ago with a female client, but didn't go so well; and up to her, it was even boring, since both my T and that woman had kids with them. In fact, she told me that she would be happier to hang out with me, because I'm a guy. It might appear impolite of her, but...Read More...

Re: Parrot to the rescueRead More...