Yip, for me it is a side effect of depression and PTSD for sure. It drives me crazy and I also snap and scream and just basically need to get out and be alone. The more I am dealing with those sorts of emotions the worse it is. and yes, Cat and Poppet I get that highly sensitive thing too with the PTSD to the point where I physically feel vibrations of just about everything....and yes to the smells too, they can either calm me or send me over the edge. B2WRead More...

Sorry it took a while for me to come back and reply to your support. I was still processing a lot about her visit. I talked about the things I posted here with T, some of the realizations I'm starting to make about how void my early attachment scenario was and how central splitting around attachment is to the way I'm "structured" internally. (((Liese))) I hope you are able to set those boundaries too. I do it, but I feel awful. Last night, she texted a mass text to all us kids that she loved...Read More...

oops, sorry...was that a hijack?Read More...

I feel for you very much, and you should never blame yourself for what happened. My mother was killed when I was one, and the aunt I accepted as second mommy abandoned me when I was 2. It made me a mess, and I got into therapy at age 30. All those feelings about love and fear of losing went onto my T. Therapists need to respect this and not be too rough. If I could help any, I would say try to get the courage to read some books or on-line about the Transference Relationship between patient...Read More...

I just posted a similar topic without realizing you had already posted this. I'm glad you were able to get a smiley out of T. That's at least a good response. BTW-I miss my former T and am thinking about calling her or FB messaging her to give her an update. I don't know if I have the courage to do that though. I don't want to either hear nothing from her or something that tells me to not do that. I don't think she would say that, but I don't know if I want to event try. I miss her sooooo...Read More...

Sorry to hear about your MIL Liese. Re you snapping out of the bad stuff and back into reality. I do that too. I have no idea why. I think it has something to do with survival and prioritizing emotions? Not sure. B2WRead More...

TN So glad you have such a wonderful T to help you through this, you deserve it thinking of you xxxxxRead More...

thanks everyone for the input. Cat I like your hot dog story- it makes sense. I mean if my internest was fed up with me she would have showed it or terminated me. I am currently in therapy getting help and she knows this. b2w and scars I guess you guys are right. Internist's have a lack of understanding probly because that's not what they're trained in. I guess I'll stick with my internest for right now.Read More...

my T is psychoanalytical and i feel like she focuses on the bringing down of defences, i remember i definetely felt that in the beginning - and it actually made me more resistant. maybe if she is doing it well, i'm not supposed to notice so much?... sometimes i feel she really pushes my buttons and that it doesn't help, i get more resistant. in my view, i dont feel that as 'my' goal, maybe its because i'm still trying to trust her. i see it more as something that happens along the way...Read More...

thank you irish! i tend to get back to functioning because i worry too much that other people will see what is really inside me, and that scares me. it is a good thing i guess, but sometimes i feel like i cant even fall apart properly... it is exhausting.... so my falling apart is generally for the weekend, and sometimes it spills over a bit. sorry for the rant... i really appreciate you checking in on me puppetRead More...

Hello TAS, I think about this question a lot. As I understand them, suppression and repression are both coping mechanisms used to avoid expressing or experiencing certain thoughts or feelings. Suppression is a conscious choice we make to, for example, set aside something we are aware of because we are in the middle of dealing with something more pressing. We choose when to return to the "issue." This can become a habitual action to a problem we wish to avoid dealing with. Repression, on the...Read More...

Turtle, he's adorable! Lucky you and him.Read More...

(((GreenEyes))) Hope you're doing ok.Read More...

Hey Red Tomato thanks for sharing that with me. Yeah the new T is very much so encouraging me to get involved in other therapeutic programs etc. She says "You need more than seeing me" So now I am in this Day treatment program and I was very against it at first. I still don't particularly like it but it is helping some. Just hearing others talk of their struggles helps me some. Hi SomeDays , I too can be pretty blunt so no worries! I struggle with whether she is the right one or not. She is...Read More...

((((CD)))) It's really sad to hear that you and so many others here can relate to this thread. My sister suffered the ignomy of being told by our mum that she wasn't wanted because she was a girl and that my only saving grace was I was a boy. Her dislike of girls carried over to when my sisters children were born, and when her first child was a boy my mum was overjoyed by it. When my sister was carrying her second child she was almost petrified that it would be a girl and that our mum would...Read More...

((( Anon ))) i don't know what to say. i didn't go through nearly the stuff you are, but i most definitely do relate to the being terrified of rejection by T. that was such a HUGE part of my anxiety in going to sessions. i sure liked T enough, but could never grapple with the anxiety, and i hated it because not only did he not deserve it, not only did i KNOW he didn't deserve it, but i couldn't help it for nothing. i hope these sessions with the new lady work out for you. i understand it's...Read More...

thank you for sharing AV! i'm impressed by all the poets here! puppetRead More...

"Round up the usual suspects!" (Yes, I always like to work in a Casablanca quote. But seriously this kind of scapegoating legislating strikes me as beyond ridiculous and offensive, not to mention ineffective.)Read More...

Thank you, to each of you, for your replies. I have been out of town, so I apologize for the late reply. It means so much that you would take time to reply and encourage me during this situation. All the best, T.Read More...

I think it comes down to what the drive is like. It's mostly motorway so if traffic isn't bad then it could be an easy drive. What I worry about is traffic being unpredictable and then having to leave lots of extra time to make sure I'm not late for a session because with only 50 minutes a week with T I coudn't bear to miss any of that time. There is so much other uncertainty in my life right now that it really isn't the right time to be adding to it by changing T. I talked to a friend about...Read More...

a very interesting question! i think for me its hidden deep in my chest in layers and layers of protection, so hidden that even i can't find sometimes. sometimes i can't find myself at all and i wonder where i have gone. i also sometimes feel like this is not my body, just a useless lump of bones that i have to carry around. thank you for asking poppet and everyone for sharing. puppetRead More...

Popps, what do you do with it when you have all the pieces laying around you?Read More...

Starlight - Lol...thank you for that. So true huh?Read More...

Liese unless personal therapy is a mandatory part of their training (which it is with psychoanalytic T training) then you don't know. That's one of the reasons I'm so passionate about that approachRead More...

(((HELD)))Read More...