(((CAT))) I went to a chiropractor some years back. I couldn't turn my head to the right (not good when driving) and my whole shoulder area and trapezius muscle around my wing was in knots. It was before therapy and just the start of it for me as I hadn't even noticed that I couldn't turn my head to the right. It's so cool that you are finding that it's helping you with your emotions as well. I need to be able to concentrate better.Read More...

(((TAS))) Been thinking about what you wrote here off and on all afternoon. I don't really feel qualified to comment, but am throwing out some thoughts anyway for what they are worth (not much). I really liked what kmay wrote. It reminded me of a quote I like from Blaise Pascal: "It is the heart which perceives God, not the reason." It's also funny (as in coincidental not as in haha) that I was reading a book this morning on the experience of God by Meletios Webber. In the chapter I'm on, he...Read More...

Indeed - only mine taught me NOT to feel anything, especially 'difficult' emotions or anything that wasn't associated with pleasantaries she saw important such as happiness, achievement and compliance. I am slowly learning with the help of my T that it is safe and healthy to feel a whole range of emotions... but it's hard to unlearn what was instilled so early on. starfishyRead More...

(((sparklewhizz))) Sorry I didn't reply before your session. I'm glad your T was so accepting of your return (any good T would be) and that she let you find out on your own terms what you needed and ask for it (I always think that is hugely brave!).Read More...

Mr. Thinker, Just wanted to say hi and welcome!Read More...

Gilliana, Just wanted to say hi and welcome!Read More...

IrishSpirit : That's fine, don't worry too much about it! It was just, like, hey, guys...please? I know you didn't mean to do anything on purpose. I will! Once I come back from my adventure on Sunday (am guiding and translating for a group of American kids through the rainforest...), I really need to catch up on some me time. I sincerely hope you find the help you need too. Liese : At the moment when I first read that post, I was upset but I chose not to even say anything about it because 1)...Read More...

(((CD))) I struggled with this for a long long time. It's so hard to say how it ever resolved itself or if it even did. I still cry when I think about ending therapy though I just don't focus on ending so much though anymore. I don't think of the ending as being permanent anymore. It's not like I'm going to walk out of there one day and the door will be closed tight, locked and sealed. Funny, as I'm writing this out, it's making me think of how dissociation works and how our emotional parts...Read More...

Loving my cats Walking Photo editing Customizing anything and everything I can Visiting Art Galleries Decorating Googling "everything" Science Fixing anything broken Cleaning house and keeping my home declutteted Writing House plantsRead More...

Agreed; very interesting. It reinforces something my T said to me last year when we were talking about my family. She insisted that I was becoming the more emotionally aware one in the family and the best placed to heal any rifts from the past. Good article.Read More...

Thank you for your replies. This is so hard. I keep getting hit with the realisation that there are so many needs I have that will never be met - or at least not in a full way. Deep down I really thought my t would take me in as a part of her family and meet some of those needs. Which sounds so stupid when I write it down. Every time it hits me I think 'I can't believe it' but I suppose I am believing it a little bt otherwise I wouldn't be so upset. I know it's probably progress to be...Read More...

I have to agree with what Poppet said earlier. My rather simplistic view is that 50+ years ago my mother gave birth to me; now my T is giving life to me and that's worth far more to me than money or clock watching. For a long time last year I voluntarily overpaid my T, and the only reason I watch the clock in sessions is to ensure I don't encroach into her private time as I'm usually her last client of the day.Read More...

I feel bad for you that feel squirmy or yucky inside when your name is said. I wish that it would bring you comfort. Whenever my ex-T said my name, it usually made me feel more connected to her. Today I got up the nerve to ask new P what she wanted me to call her, Dr.S or her first name. She said whatever I want is fine with her. She said younger clients often seem to want to call her Dr. but "mature" clients (I guess that means older?) often prefer to be on a first name basis. So maybe...Read More...

I would highly recommend the book Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky if you're interested in the mind-body connection and the effects of cumulative stress on the body. It's fascinating and the author is really funny.Read More...

P.S. Didn't try salt water! I might now though, lol.Read More...

I don't!!! I still think the keyboard looked at bit qqqwwwweeerrrttyyy!!!! tbhRead More...

Thanks Poppet and Cat. I am trying the best I can.Read More...

((( Cat ))), that actually helps a lot, thanks so much for sharing your experience and the experience fo your therapist. it helps to normalize what i'm going through, and not feel so freakish.Read More...

Thanks scars09 and catalyst for responding. My T knows about my ED and I contacted my nutritionist to get back on track. I was hospitalized 18 mo ago for very low weight and had to go through re-feeding also. Since then I have gained weight and had stop restricting, but recent painful emotional work w/T triggered my ED to rare its Ugly Head! and I don't feel in control of not restricting and wanting to lose weight. I guess for me it's a way of controlling something when the intense emotional...Read More...

Tas, sometimes I think it is a lost cause! not many people feel like us.Read More...

((((((((((Kmay))))))))))))Read More...

Closed Doors you are absolutely right...I do that all the time... SomeDays I am so sorry. Thank you for your insight...I really appreciate it! T.Read More...

Liese & Green Eyes, Thank you both for responding. I'll be back tomorrow once I've thought about what you've both said as I can't do it at the moment. HopefulRead More...

Glad to hear it ended up working out well, and it sounds like it was a great conversation for both of you. Nice work!Read More...

The ultimate loss of control. I never thought of it like that before. Being victimized by the alcohol but that's what it was like for me.Read More...