TN, Aaahh yes, makes more sense. Thank you. In my first meeting with T, when she was explaining how she is familiar with patients who have been through similar situations as mine with previous T's, she was basically giving a summary of the situation. She said that we need to process and umderstand what happened and that eventually I need closure and that may mean a closure session with old T She probably saw the look of horror on my face and decided it bast to not mention it again for now.Read More...

Yes. The book is kept on my shelf. Also loved the TED talk on introverts. I'm both.Read More...

Thanks, AG, BLT, Erica & Liese. I know this is hard work and it takes time and I'm actually making progress with this T, but I don't KNOW it. When in the trenches, it's so easy to lose sight of all of that. So the encouragement I find from everyone is golden.Read More...

Thanks for all the great suggestions. I decided to make heart shaped pizza. My T even suggested making heart shaped pepperoni. I picked up my 5 year old from her babysitter and very enthusiastically went to the supermarket to buy pizza dough, pepperoni, etc. We were in there about 10 minutes tops. As we were getting in the car, I did something incredibly stupid and locked (thinking I was unlocking) my car with my purse, my cellphone and the car keys in the car while still holding the...Read More...

Hey Cat... I know that feeling of overwhelming anxiety. I do think that engaging in some physical activity helps with running down some of that adrenalin that is pumping wildly. but sometimes I just need to try to sleep if I can and usually when I wake up it's better. Your T's don't hate you at all and I know how strong and powerful those feelings are at times but they are feelings from the past that cannot hurt you now. You have survived the worst of your past and you are a strong adult now...Read More...

AG, Thank you. I have good and bad days. Yesterday was awful. Today is a better day. Thank you for your support.Read More...

After today, I can't help but add another one: Her complete willingness to own up when she makes a mistake.Read More...

Hi dancer As a trauma survivor I've found intense psychoanalytic therapy the most helpful intervention by far. There is often a strong emphasis on insight and interpretation. However one of the major avenues of healing is mourning and grieving, reliving the emotional pain that would have destroyed us in childhood had we faced it then. I don't know your history but maybe your caregivers didn't handle interpersonal closeness or vulnerable feelings very well which led you to feel ashamed and...Read More...

TAS, mine says "So what's going on?" which makes me feel like I'm being accused of something! I just try to think of my own opening thing to say even before I get to his office and kind of ignore his.Read More...

Well done TNRead More...

Thank you Kashely, Blu, BLT & Cat, I do need to be reminded that just b/c she didn't have any ill intentions doesn't mean that I don't have a right to talk and heal from the damage that was done. New T says she held all the power in the relationship and it was her job, no matter what, to keep me safe by keeping the boundaries in place. Sometimes I tell myself that b/c she did succesfully help me through many things that I do not have the right to be angry or hurt that she damaged me in...Read More...

(((HIC))) (((kashley))) (((scars))) Thanks for all your support. In a pretty bad spot just now, but did want to let you all know I was reading and appreciated that you wroteRead More...

I actually saw her today the the enrolment center and freaked out a little. I went up to her and told her I would drop out of school because it was too uncomfortable of a situation and she told me to schedule and apointment with one of the other counsilers and I am still undecided on that.I am right in the middle of classes right now and I am really dealing with alot of depression and anxiety today. This whole situation just sucks.Read More...

Yeah, makes me laugh out loud now, but at the time....well, you know.Read More...

Thank you, poppet To be honest, I'm also a little bit afraid of hearing a crappy reason. Almost nobody doing such things or far worse has given a reasonable explanation in my life, they always thought they were right regardless of the size of what they did. Please T pleaseee turn out to be nice.Read More...

((((SUMMER))) I read this in Kathy Steele's article on phase oriented trauma treatment and thought of your situation. I'm not sure if it will make you feel much better but here goes: Just wondering if he might be avoiding his own difficult emotions and in the process avoiding yours?Read More...

you have such a lovely voice, BLT! thank you for sharing it with us!Read More...

(((SCARS))) That's a funny dream.Read More...

hmmm very interesting BLT. Food for thought. Thanks.Read More...

I'm sorry to hear that happened Somebody. As painful as relationship troubles are, I think these things happen for the best in the long run. I hope you can do something kind for you today....you deserve that and I wish you all the best. I'm wondering if you've found anybody to hang out with at college yet? College can be a great place if you make a couple of friends...or it can be hard it you are alone. ALso, this is a great site to learn from others on...read some of the great info on here...Read More...

hi avoidant. i completely understand and respect your opinion. i think this is more complicated than i let on. i actually know my T from another sphere in life and she may be able to tolerate some of what i say because she knows me in an entirely different light. also, i do say mean things but we often have productive sessions so its not as though i just go in there and berate her for 50 minutes and leave. i have a lot of problems with devaluing people. i feel very broken and my sense of...Read More...

Thanks, everyoneRead More...

Could you Skype with any of the Ts/Ps?Read More...