Update: My behavioral health case manager called me tonight. She seems nice and to understand the importance of being both accurate and sensitive to how much distress the company has been causing. We scheduled a conversation for 2:00pm tomorrow. She said, because she is on the clinical side of things, she may not know all the answers to the procedural issues, but she will stay with me through the process of getting it, rather than letting me get bounced around unanswered or inaccurately...Read More...

TAS, I wanted to chime in earlier, but I didn't get the chance. I am another person who has had a lot of negative transference with my therapist. I still have a lot of criticisms and doubts about him. I still struggle with it. I am coming up on three years with him. It is definitely not easy. My T does let me tell him how I feel about him and accepts my complaints, and that helps somewhat. It took me a long time to figure out that I should just tell him everything that I felt about him. He...Read More...

Actually the bicycle is easy on the knees if you adjust the bike properly. I ride with a knee replaced and limited range of motion. I also use the recumbent bike at the gym. It is harder on your butt then your knees. It is great exercise and an hour a day will burn a lot of calories.Read More...

Thanks MetaMantraMe and GreenEyes. I appreciate your words and support. MetaMantraMe: What wonderful metaphors... they make perfect sense to me! Thanks for sharing!! I have to agree with this. This week, my T was talking about how when we finally learn to feel, it's unfortunate that all of the bad feelings come up first. But we have to make our way through them so that we can also feel good things. I think that's part of the hell your friend was referring to... all the bad feelings that come...Read More...

(((AV)))Read More...

3M YOU ROCK!Read More...

Hmmm a lot of interesting responses...come to think of it, the only time I didn't see freak when I saw T outside the office was when I invited her to come see me act in a school production last semester. We mingled and had a few laughs afterwards but she sent me on my merry way with my friends...I guess I didn't panic cos I actually was expecting it and we planned it...still weird though. Will it ever stop being weird? :PRead More...

((((Poppet)))) - I don't think you have any reason to feel that you have offended anyone. Your post is brave, wise, and lovely b/c if comes from a place of supporting someone else. ((((((((((Poppet))))))))))))))))Read More...

GreenEyes, Smiley - He is doing better! He got out of ICU and moved to a regular room. Will be in the hospital for a few more days and then moved to a rehab center to get his strength up. He is not really happy about going to "another" hospital lol but he understands. We talked to neurologist about his behavior and he reassured us that it is normal for someone his age after a surgery like this. He said give it at least a month before we expect him to return to a more normal behavior.Read More...

Kmay - It's funny, everything you said I have talked to my T about. She said exactly the same things. To the letter. How do you just believe that? I trust her more than anyone in my life, but I don't. There's something definately wrong with my head! Liese - Right back to ya! Thanks. I've gone over the conversation I want to have with her and I'm afraid that every ending has the same result - goodbye. There's no way that I can just talk to her now. If it's over it has to be over. This sucks...Read More...

Thanks for the Hugs BLT Anon, Athenacus - Yes, she is getting her own needs met. You know the thing is that makes it so hard, is I think its all coming from a good place. A place of her thinking she is "helping". But I just don't understand what she is thinking. I tried to contact her for support a few weeks ago about something else before the stuff with my Dad and she told me she was afraid of hurting me or creating too much dependancy and wouldn't even talk to me. But when it condusive to...Read More...

Thank you, Kashley!Read More...

Hi Ang! I don't think we've met, but I hope it's okay that I chime in here. I do share shameful/graphic things with my T, but I generally do it in writing. I write, and then she reads while we are in session, and she responds (adhering the strict rule that she is not to directly quote anything I have written because it is very upsetting to me). I've been with her for 6 years, and I still have a very difficult time actually talking about too much detail unless she intiates it. For some...Read More...

Aw, thank you, my lovelies. It went better today than I was even hoping, and certainly much better than I was fearing. My anxiety about sharing the poem with her was really mounting as the session drew near. H told me I seemed more nervous about showing a poem to T than he had been about proposing to me. But, I sort of forgot the obvious, that this was not a case of my poem or me being on trial, and the fact of a surprise gift and the charm of the little book itself (it really is a pretty...Read More...

Sounds like a lot of fun. I would also be very scared but if I ever get the chance, I will definitely give it a try.Read More...

Yay, another dream thread! I love these. Lemme see. . . I have a lot of dreams about moving into new houses, or discovering new rooms in an existing house. I tend to interpret them as being about self discovery and/or personal growth. Seems like the jumble of elements in your dream could be reflecting a more chaotic transition to which you still have to adjust, and maybe uncertainty on how best to do so. Resenting a change, perhaps? On some hopeful notes-- 6 other offices plus the one you...Read More...

Well there's definitely that - so I guess if someone that already had NPD became alcoholic as well it wouldn't really change much except intensifying things like being more volotile and unpredicatble.Read More...

The last time my T uttered the word "attachment," I rolled my eyes so badly that she jokingly apologized and mimed trying to stuff the word back into her mouthRead More...

Hey Erica, thanks for replying. No worries about the time replying back, your therapy sounds like it is making you work overtime dealing with it. Mine is kind of putzing along because at the current time, I am only going once a month due to money issues. It is really hard to make any progress at this rate but I have been trying to do a lot of work in between on my own. Keep sticking with yours, it will be hard but I think you will eventually reap the rewards. Take care.Read More...

Hi Alexis, My suggestion would be for you to check out an Al-anon meeting. Anyone who is impacted by someone else's drinking may attend, and it sounds like you're impacted by your friend's parents drinking. Al-anon is for friends and families, and might be the best way you can help your friend!Read More...

I was much calmer after posting and reading Avoidant's reply. By the time I got there I was pretty good - not even much of a tremble going on! It was a good appt - good discussion and some strategizing about procrastination, where that's come from, etc. We talked about my dad - first time ever to anyone other than a friend, and that was ok after the initial "OMG you're giving up The Big Secret!!" and the accompanying feelings of betraying the family. Sigh. Dad's been dead for almost 23 years...Read More...

Thanks BLT. I like your ideas. Wanted to let you know I will be out of town for a few days; will get back to this when I return.Read More...

Sorry for not getting back to you all sooner. (((CD, Hopeful, AG, Starlight, R2G))) CD - I think, on some level, I'd just chosen to forget that she wouldn't always be around for me just because it was too painful. So yes, I'm right there with you.. I always want her to be there. Forever. And I've always been somewhat thankful about the way that she can act like things are normal, except for now. Although I do remember now (I think) that she even mentioned that the reason I might be angry is...Read More...

Oh, interesting Av. This actually fits somewhat for me. Lately, I've been trying to find a job, and I was forced to admit that job searching is not something I am good a. It requires more persistence and discipline than I can easily muster. I can begin to admit that I need help with it, but at the same time I don't want the kind of help some people have to offer, which is to urge you into applying for jobs that seem good but aren't right for you, or to help you make your resume look perfect...Read More...