Kashley, how funny. That's where I got it from. CD, the difference between your situation and the situation in the story is that in the story, the surgery turned out to be unnecessary. In your case, you have some serious quality of life issues. I am so glad your T left the door open for you to return. Do you have a goal in mind in terms of what you want to take care of before you go back to therapy?Read More...

Of course, how could I have missed the connection? Now that should be analyzed; I must have attachment issues. What is the significance of the boomerang?Read More...

Black Tea, Just one more thought. Sometimes it seems the transference gets stronger and really out of control when the therapist isn't necessarily that sensitive. That happened with me and with other members here. Somehow this fosters the "love" feelings on our part - maybe because this is what we are used to. In your case, it doesn't sound like your Dad is very sensitive to you either and that gets confused with being loved - hence your pull towards Richard over Beatrice?Read More...

((((HELD))))) That sounds like a good idea. I was thinking you could do that and just call when you need an extra session or go back to weekly and cancel when you don't need to go. Would you actually call for an extra session? It's still so hard for me to ask for anything though I'm trying to push myself more and more.Read More...

This seemed like an exceptionally lame idea. How else do you overcome self assessment bias indeed. I was actually surprised that the percentages of those who don't improve or deteriorate weren't higher. It seems like such a lot goes into a successful therapy-- has to be the "right" therapist, the "right" time, and the client has to be willing to do the (often draining, exhausting, and excruciating) work. I guess you get out of it what you put into it, but even for that the conditions have to...Read More...

Thank you for your reply Deeplyrooted. It was a help and I think that even if I had the brain scan and it showed PTSD it wouldn't show the why of it. I hope you are doing well. Your reply has caused me to look at it from a different perspective. Thank you, T.Read More...

Black_tea- Thank you for writing back. As I read on this board, I do see a lot of people wanting different types of relationships with their T or at least the feelings for their T are similar to mine. I have two T professors currently that don't believe in transference/countertransference. They say it's a special relationship that the client and therapist have. A kind of relationship that isn't the same as any other because both people bring themselves to the room. I find that a refreshing...Read More...

There are many roles my T takes on - protector and abuser, father, friend and spouse. There are times I'm very clingy and just want to sit on his lap and be cuddled all day and other times I completely despise him and wish we'd never met. All to do with lots of early trauma and deprivation, losing both parents by 27 and current unfulfilled needs with my family.Read More...

Liese I know how awful the limits are and how much emotional pain they can trigger. It is horrendous to be told no to so many things you want and deserve. Unfortunately our relationship with our T's is restricted so we can know our grief, mourn our losses and then heal. So much easier to write this than to do it in practice though. Try not to run from your grief. The more time you spend with it, the less power it will have and the more healed you will become. I'm in a similar boat ATM in my...Read More...

Hi Becca I echo AG's words (hi AG!) and I've struggled (and continue to) with these very same issues. It's very hard to delineate between past and present needs and our deepest relational fears and anxieties are going to come out with a T when we work with them for long enough. It can be a terrifying and excruciating process. But the transference in T helps the healing immensely in the long term and that will carry through to other relationships in time. Big hugs xxRead More...

I had quite a few dreams about my ex-therapist, but I never told him. Here they are: 1)This one was before I met him: My sister was sick and lying in a bedroom at our grandparents' house (she's a patient of his, btw). She was supposed to have a session with him, but instead, he came there. In real life, my sister started seeing him before I did, and told me he looks like Robert De Niro. So, in the dream, I wanted to peek into the room and check if he looks like De Niro. 2)The other dream...Read More...

I really enjoy reading this thread. I met with my pastoral counselor today and realized that I have been seeing her for a couple months now and taking off my shoes has never crossed my mind even though I nearly always take them off when I am with my therapist. It will be interesting to see if this changes with time. deeplyrootedRead More...

Liese, That is an inspiring story. It reminds me of something my therapist said to me at my last session three days ago that I continue to ponder. We were talking about some of my past dysfunctional behavior and she wanted me to know that I am healthy even though this does not mean I no longer need therapy. But, the more I think about her encouragement, the less I look down on myself for the issues I am still trying to resolve. It feels good to have someone believe I am not a hopeless case. ...Read More...

Hey COGS, If I could face my T today, you can face your T tomorrow.Read More...

I agree with CD, it is the sort of thing I do. Anything nice comes my way, deflect.Read More...

Hey everybody - I didn't want to post all of this and then disappear after all of your thoughts and support, so I wanted to say I'm still around but not I'm not able to post an update right now. I had a sort of rough T appointment and then fell apart and had a really rough week. I'm doing better now, but feeling really shaky and every time I think about my old T or my new T it all gets triggered again so I'm trying to take a break from thinking about it and just get on with my life a bit. I...Read More...

Thank you for the responses, All!Read More...

hi blacktea! it sounds like a very hard decision considering your history with your ex T (R) and the fact that your new T (B) has been so good to you. seeing things from the sidelines with no emotional investment, I would say stick with B, she sounds a lot more stable, like she has her stuff figured out therefore is in a much better place to help you, like she's been doing already. R on the other hand, even if he was happy to see you, i dont think he should have allowed 'the awkward' thing...Read More...

Cat, I was just thinking the other day, I haven't seen a post from you in ages. Good to see you back and sorry for all the trouble you are going through. Please hang in there and take care.Read More...

i agree with the above, it's doing things that words can't really convey. sometimes i don't notice when i do it, but i'm sure i do.Read More...

I have the relax melodies app - it's a good one!Read More...

Hi Becca, Thanks so much for writing! I wrote something to my T like nine months ago and I have only brought up the word like two times since then...I said that yesterday that I have put people on a pedestal and it needs to be talked about so we will talk next week...just got off of a two minute phone conversation with her but couldn't really talk. I hope you'll be able to bring it up with your T also soon...sometimes I'll do something dumb like I did today when I called her which I will...Read More...

Thanks for all your replies. Liese my H does his own therapy but has tremendous difficulties with trust. He's just started with a new T after 3 or 4 years with another T that seemed to make minimal difference. SD I have made a number of new friendships since starting with my T. And it's through the work with him that I've come to see my family are all pretty much narcissistic, sociopathic or codependent and are of little value in terms of Interpersonal support. Avoidant I'm sorry to hear of...Read More...

Hey Tas, I'm gonna just keep it short coz I don't want to go into the details, but to answer your question I have tried hypnosis and for me it was not a positive feeling - quite the opposite. Would I ever do it again? Simple answer - no. I guess you will have to make up your own mind on that one. B2WRead More...

((AG)) Such a great phrase. I thought it was you who coined it. It really captures the essence of the experience. Such a great phrase for such a shitty place.Read More...