Hi TAS, I don't think we have met so I will tell you I spent years in negative transference with my former T and it was hellish. I didn't understand why I couldn't fully trust her or why I felt the way I did. I may not explain this very well but for me I had to learn to follow those negative feelings back to the first time I felt that pain in childhood. Then to focus those hurt feelings on the original person who triggered them and make the current pain about the first offense. I was not...Read More...

thank you Av, I have printed the list and will take a close look at it later.Read More...

(((AV))) Thanks for the congrats and support. Of course how I feel about it is what matters. Wish I could get that through my thick head. (((BLT))) My first response was to say, "wow, how did she know that?" Then I wondered, "wow, is it that obvious?" Do you think other people really don't care? I would love to believe that. I think other people's comments to me over the years are stuck in my head. A big step forward for me was becoming aware of those thoughts. It hasn't been easy though I...Read More...

Very cute hedgehog! "Tim Hortons" (the name on the mug) is a Canadian chain restaurant that serves coffee and donuts. Delicious!Read More...

(((Starfishy))) I've missed you too!Read More...

(((((Liese))))) I am sorry that you go through such difficulties too, but reading more on what you said i understand that you come out of it in a good way and that is lovely!! This does give me some inspiration and makes it easier for me I don't have a T but i think i can handle myself for now and get a grip on things This forum is so very helpful for that!!Read More...

Hi COGS, That's an interesting explanation he gave you. I've had a similar experience lately. I used to have to check in often to make sure he wasn't sick of me. I think I've gotten to the point where I really trust that he's not sick of me and we talk more about the stuff that is happening in my life as opposed to my relationship with him. Funny that you say that it feels like something is missing because I did feel like that for a while and still do to some extent. It's like, for me, all...Read More...

Thanks! To be honest, it was not the things I was doing, it was simply the way I perceived the world and my life. Instead of going through the motions of eating breakfast, I actually really was there eating breakfast. I would take a bite of cereal and think, "Wow, this is delicious. I am just eating cereal right now and that's all I'm thinking about and it's so great...why didn't I realize how delicious this cereal is until just now!!" I did not suddenly do crazy, exciting things...I simply...Read More...

I remember my T telling me that he thought I should just confront my dad early in my therapy. I literally told him to shut up. BUT ...it was the beginning of working through the abuse and getting real with it all and then about a year later I chose to actually confront my abuser. It was a really freeing experience. ALL THAT SAID you really have to be at a place of peace and that you cannot expect anything from your abuser. This confrontation is when you are ready to let it go and be at peace...Read More...

Your use of words!!Read More...

Thanks Meta, and LOL, Starry. That is a funny story AND it made me feel betterRead More...

BLT, Outsider, Leise, Thank youRead More...

awww ((( MMM ))) your nice wishes mean a laot to me. no, i'm currently not in therapy thanks to the ever-declining health care benefits. such is life. it sounds like you understand what's going on, which will benefit you greatly, i hope. yeah, i think it's vitally important to not beat oneself up for reacting to situations that trigger past experiences. easy enough to say, i know. good luck to you MMM, and i hope you come around more often. but if you don't, that's okay too.Read More...

YAY!!!Read More...

I am starting to feel things... Anxiety and stress mostly, but some happiness too. Even if they are hard things to feel, gosh anything is better than numb. ((((Anthenacus))) (((everybody))) Thanks for being with me through it. All T did was play Chutes and Ladders with Boo and give me a safe place to sit and interact with them, but I guess just having a safe place to go and making it through the day and getting some stuff done was enough to unlock things a little bit. At least if I can feel,...Read More...

Hi TN and others, Thank you for your responses and for checking on me! On Christmas Eve I ended up coming down with a bad cold, so I know that was part of my bad mood the day before. I just didn't know it at the time. My holiday break was full of trying to survive a virus, a break up, and being lonely on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I cried for several days, stayed in the house, cleaned, talked, and sang to three cats (I'm cat sitting). A few days ago I just decided that I had enough...Read More...

Hi, It is good to hear from you. That is something i always wanted to do! I am sorry to hear about your Therapist and I hope that you find that click and learn a lot more I love the church choir(whatever i have seen in the movies, i hope i see it for real someday). Thats lovely Thank you for sharingRead More...

Woah- Just re-read this thread before turning in and I didn't mean specifically that DF turned a member away. I think we all know DF wouldn't tell someone they couldn't get help here. Totally my bad. I meant it was sad to see a member ask for help and not receive it. Sorry about that draggs! LilliesRead More...

Hi, TAS. I wholeheartedly agree with CD...and your second thoughts. Hang in there. I haven't commented on any of your posts, but I've read many of them. I completely get the constant tendency to flight. So many of us do. Keep holding on. Your T sounds solid and able to take all that you give him. That is golden.Read More...

Thank you Closed Doors! Definitely going to take a look at that article T.Read More...

Hello All, I think this idea that we are "too much" stems from a deep shame we seems to lug around in our lives. Once the shame is able to be lifted from us then we may actually value ourselves and expect others to value us. When our T's say nice things to us that is who we really are..think about it just coming for therapy shows us that we care enough about ourselves to get help...I know my T thinks that in itself gives me value...Our T's see us without the lens of shame....and by doing so...Read More...

AV - Thanks for that link. I really enjoyed Smail's article and drilled down to read more Of his opinions about therapy. Its like the Emporers New Clothes. Like you, B2W, I think its strange or suspicious that these type articles and opinions aren't very visible. Then we think we are alone and crazy or wrong to think that way! B2W - thanks for bringing this topic up! AG - Thanks for your link as well. It is reassuring and helpful. I think both articles were saying the same thing. But "what...Read More...

Thanks (((BLT)))!Read More...