((( BLT ))) and ((( TN ))) thank you both for your insight! this has given me alot to think about and even hope about. i read both of your replies days ago and wanted to respond then, but things get busy. indeed, things still are busy, but i really wanted you both to know that i read what you wrote and it has helped me alot come to terms with the feelings of betrayal in therapy. thank you both for your wisdomRead More...

(((((((( R2G ))))))) Glad you managed to talk to T about this and feel a bit more accepting of where you're at. Even if it sucks . LLRead More...

You and me both! That's the way to look at it! I think you are right, AV! Scars, I think you are right!!!Read More...

Hey AV! Have to say my choice in terms of T's or very close friends for that matter has always been female. That is not to say I don't get on with men. Growing up I was such a tomboy and as a result had a lot of guy friends. I really enjoy talking to men about certain topics of conversation, but somehow the conversations are different to what I talk to females about. I think I just identify more with females. On top of that I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a male T about sexual issues,...Read More...

their 'I guess' I do not know anyone who goes the online road myself. I have seen a few T's advertising sessions V skype. thats about it. I would think however some people may feel it is easey to talk to a person not a screen or deal with a issue on the phone. On the other hand if someone has tried and given up on face to face talk talk maybe it is worth a shot... after all, can it hurt any more that life it self. NDRead More...

KD and Jones, thanks so much for responding. Big hugs to you both too LLRead More...

Hi stillhealing, I saw a consult T after two years with my T. I had several months of difficulty with my relationship with him and went back and forth quite a bit in my mind. Like you, I also talked to him about the problems I was having with my therapy with him. When I first made the appointment with the consult, I was very upfront about it, and I told my T I was going before I went. However, I did end up telling him this in a phone message, which was not ideal, but it was how it worked out...Read More...

BLT You make a very good point. I love the Marsha Linehan story. The answer is probably a very individual thing. I don't have a choice in my case so hopefully I'll come to appreciate the positive aspects you talked about. Or not, right? Who says you have to cry in therapy? Sorry for the hijack Lucina ...Read More...

No, you didn't offend me. I was just trying to clarify my opinions on EMDR and trauma processing in general. I wasn't sure whether you might have gotten the message from what TN wrote than EMDR is useless for complex trauma, which is something I would disagree with. I guess I also heard TN as saying (even though she probably didn't mean to) only psychodynamic T's are effective for certain things, and my own opinion is that my T and TN's are totally different in their training and approach,...Read More...

I am hoping the meds will make a difference after all this resistance. She has only seen me a few times and does not know me yet, though i do feel comfortable with her. I reckon he is fed up with me not opening up fast enough (just my perspective) for him. The way I have been feeling these past few weeks is really getting me down and I need help to shift the cloud. AV did not blow hard enough!!! (on another thread) I am just going to ramble now, because I don't know where to put it and am...Read More...

Thanks ninna, I'm also a child of divorced paren ts and I didn't have a choice, I rarely saw my dad. I think the kids should have some say, and I think you're right, I think my son just needs his dad right now, I'm sure it will change through the years.Read More...

TN, I know you are right. I think if I were able to allow myself to attach to my T I would believe I could fully heal but the thought of that stirs up too much shame. I was with my former T for almost five years before she terminated me and although I was unconsciously attached, I felt way too much shame to allow myself to feel attached to her. Does that make sense? This inability was part of the reason therapy failed with her. Like you, that termination really set me back. I am still...Read More...

It's strange I always thought my transference was toward a mother figure in my casual relationships it is. I think what I was looking for was a Father. When I found someone like that it turn things upside down. When he stopped his practice,it was done. I don't want to look anymore it not only hurts but feels dangerous.Read More...

Hi once nice to see you here. Keep in with T she sounds like a good one. NDRead More...

AV I missed this post, sorry! Lol about the forums, I'm still trying to work out how to use them, will let you know what they're like once I've had a decent look myself. Hey about being courageous, you know your comment reminds me of times when various Ts I've had have said they thought I was being very courageous for continuing to put myself into therapy despite everything - and I'd say, no it's not courage it's sheer desperation. I have no option... So if you don't feel it's courageous, if...Read More...

Oh I can so relate to this one. Last year I left a prayer minister because of transference and countertransference. The prayer minister didn't know how to help me through this stuff. I was projecting him to be my father, set him up to reject and abandoned me and was a total mess. When I met my liscensed therapist I was very hesitant to form a bond. I did not want to become attached to him. I told him that over and over and he was really good at helping me to honor that. I remember one time...Read More...

(((Scars))) (((Draggers))) (((Starfishy))) (((Lampers))) Thank you all. Scars; yes we did all we could and in the end I think it was enough. Five of us had a good day and one (my mum) you can never really tell anyway!! Draggers; it is a bit rude isn't it. You may be right in that she sees it as a bit of a favour, her coming to see us, I don't know. Maybe thre's some sort of guilt? on her part that makes it hard for her to speak to me? Starfishy; thank you. I'm so sorry your mum treated you...Read More...

Hi Non, So good to hear from you and your news, I am really pleased that has worked out for you. Sorry that you feel you have to shut away right now, you must do whatever you need to in order to feel safe, but know we are always here for you when you can pop back starfishyRead More...

Thanks everyone....still feeling ok for the moment, so riding the wave as they say!Read More...

TAS-- I would definitely want to know just for the sake of knowing what's on my insurance records if for nothing else. If you are paying with insurance, I believe the T has to give a diagnosis after a fixed number of sessions to "justify" continued treatment. Is your T refusing to tell you your diagnosis unless you have the conversation in the way he wants you to? I'm not sure they can with hold information like that-- I would think you have a right to know what's on your records. Possibly...Read More...

(((((( Puppet )))))) And (((((( Scars ))))))) too. I hear what you're saying but it doesn't ring bells with me - except maybe in the sense that fear is so constant and FAMILIAR that if it weren't there I probably wouldn't recognize myself or the world. So maybe that's similar? LLRead More...

Glad I could help!!Read More...

I totally understand what you are saying...I am alowed to email my T, because she says, that it is better said or written than keeping all frustration inside. I have problems talking to her eye-to-eye...So I think it is really good, that you've written to her and that you got her reply...I do think it is good to have email contact, because you can read it when ever you want. It is just that written word lasts longer. Okay with limitations, I only write when I am in huge pain. Hope u update...Read More...

Yep, I agree with Draggers entirely.Read More...

(((TAS))) i'm sorry you are feeling so low and hopeless, i know the feeling... and sometimes its nice just to hear someone tell us it will all be ok, even if we don't really believe it, but it gives us hope. i am really sorry that i can't say that to you (because i am feeling pretty hopeless too...) i'm sorry if the only positive thing i can tell you is that i hear you and that you deserve positive words and hope. puppetRead More...