thanks guys. i don't quite know what to feel about all this. i know it was just showing my T some pictures i drew.but for me this is huge.in so many years of T i have never ever been even this open with a T. i go back and forth from feeling nothing at all to being terified to feeling it was ok. i don't know what to expect.i think i am dead inside .i showed her this stuff and felt nothing but terror and numbness. people talk about some connection at times like these but i felt nothing between...Read More...

nannabee, i'm sorry you felt rage too... i'm not sure if i fully know why either, its probably to do with the fact that i desperately need her to care about me (like my mother never did) and 'needing' anything and being helpless drives me up the wall! like you say, fun times thank you for sharing! Lampers, i really do hope you'll get to come back later and do this poll ND, nice to meet you and glad you got the warm fuzzies. puppetRead More...

(((kmay))) (((Starry))) (((katiedid))) Thank you all so much for the kind words and encouragement! The support from friends here as I struggle through my therapy means a lot.Read More...

(((LL))) Yes, I think you hit the nail on the head. One I woke up from the dream, I at first just assumed that it was about jealousy - shame shame - more negative emotions that I have and again, more reason for me to feel bad about it all, even about having the dream. But the more I thought about it, my view of the dream changed as well - just liked my view of what was going on in session in the dream evolved as time went on. Hmmmm, life imitating my dreams? Thanks for the thoughts. It's...Read More...

In the begining i always talked about stuff that happened during my week, i would tell my T stories, until she would stop me and ask me the dreded question " how do u feel right now" i hate that question. Lol how do i feel? I dont , i feel nothing. But the stories helped me get comfortable just talking.Read More...

Definatly the right stuff to talk about, its how u feel, start with those thoughts and ur T will guid u through the rest. Ur not alone.Read More...

D'oh! The health center at my school cancelled my new T appointment. They accidentally scheduled me with someone I might have T classes with (a fellow grad student/intern) instead of a regular senior staff member. I won't get to meet with a new T until next week. I e-mailed the T that was the guest speaker in my class the other day to let her know that I enjoyed her book and getting to meet her. I also let thanked her for the wonderful hug she gave me.Read More...

Hiya, exactly what I thought...which I why I decided against popping along! Curiosity isnt always the best motivation!Read More...

HIC - Thank you. Yes, I agree with everything you said. Now its just actually getting up the courage to talk to her about it....Read More...

No worries about bumping threads and all that guilt stuff , if you can't come here and talk about how you're doing without having to pay some kind of quid pro quo dues in terms of posting replies, then the forum is not the place I think it to be. Which is a pretty stupid and convoluted way of saying I'm glad you did post to say how you are doing and that I'm 100% sure no-one is thinking badly of you for not rushing around the place posting madly on every other thread going! I am sorry though...Read More...

Lovely story of your time with your T. Beautiful.Read More...

LOL Beebs, you crack me up sometimes. Well I think I get what you mean with it being ok that YOU know this about how you feel, but it's not for his ears. I could be taking you too seriously here, but I immediately thought of this situation where you tell someone how positive they make you feel and how grateful you are to them for all sorts of things and then whammo suddenly they pull the rug - murphy's law type of scenario - the moment you let them know you appreciate them is the moment they...Read More...

Hey there SD, did you manage to talk to your T about the art therapy? I find it interesting that she suggested art therapy to you, but as something you go off and do on your own. I like the suggestions the others on this thread have given (I also really liked the link to art journalling, gave me some ideas of my own.) Thought I'd chip in because I did a stint with an art therapist once, years ago. We did things like make and play with puppets (obvious candidates to play out theatrically...Read More...

Very sweet, Granite.Read More...

Granite - This was the very reason that I told T that I needed twice a week. We had started getting into some pretty traumatic stuff and I shared with her that after session, it is so incredibly hard for me b/c I have to just sit with the emotions by myself and sometimes I swear, it feels like it will kill me. We did go to two sessions a week but she also allows contact whenever I need it b/c of what I shared with her. I think you need to tell T how you feel about that - while she may not...Read More...

thanks for all your responses. LL,i'm only asking because 1: it does fascinate me and 2: T briefly mentioned it in our last session. i have to say, i fantisize other clients coming in and lying on the couch, er, my couch. i don't know if i could ever have that amount of trust and comfort. i like to think i could, but realistically i don't think i could. my T does interpersonal technique along with psychodynamic and psychoanalytic, so it's not out of the realm of his expertise. frog, i like...Read More...

Draggers & Avoidant, Glad to hear she and her family are ok. LL, It does seem like a "Liese" thing. I don't know how the stuff gets resolved without re-creating lots of pain. If I ever figure out that part I'll let you know LOL!Read More...

Dragonfly - Yes, thank you. And by the way, thank you very much for your explanation too. I actually do get it now lol. And I really like what I read about "Unconditional Positive Regard"...Im going to practice that with my kids instead of losing my patience!Read More...

Thanks for checking, Draggers! I've been in tears on and off mainly because for one of my classes I'm required to read about CSA, SA, other childhood abuse, and domestic violence/abuse. It's very triggering. I suppose it doesn't help that I have PMS, nightmares, some minor panic attacks and don't have another T just yet. I'm calling tomorrow to find a new T. On a good note...I'm probably jinxing this...my ex husband hasn't been too bad lately. Usually he harasses me by e-mail, phone or in...Read More...

(((Granite))) - Thank you. T says I am courageous too. I don't feel that way...AT ALL. But thank you (((Frog))) & (((LL))) & (((B2W))) - thank you so much for the support.Read More...

Kashley, Thank you for the tips! I will have to give some of that a try. I do the same thing about picturing my notes on the page or picturing where it said such and such in a book in order to get the answer. One of my problems was I was trying to picture the notes and all I could picture was the heading and nothing below (blank page in my head). I panicked and wrote only a paragraph instead of an essay because nothing was coming to my head. Also, the mult. choice questions seemed like a...Read More...

Granite, I'm really proud of you! You were so brave to go. That was an excellent session too. Thanks for sharing. Your T seems like she was there for you a lot more this time and was so caring. ~D.Read More...

I am really late to this but sorry to hear that you have stepped down. I wish you all the best and hope it goes well with T school. ButterflyRead More...

Thanks folks...Read More...

((((Garanite1)))), sorry to hear you`re so angry and confused about all this. Fwiw I think it will be a good idea to go see your T and talk this through with her - at least one more time. You said yourself you know it`s the right thing to do, so stick to that. You will figure out what to do. Quitting in this "state" sounds more harmful than helpful, to me anyway. Your T holding on to you and not letting you go that easaly tells me she cares about you and won`t give up on you, like you...Read More...