I'm glad you were able to tell your T what you needed and get him back on the boat. Yeah, I agree, that things are often more complicated than they seem like they need to be, but I haven't found a way to make them less complicated myself, so definitely don't think it's just you!!! Off to get Boo ready for a nap, but SO glad you talked to your T directly about it. Good job!!! That can be really hard and I'm sure he's proud of you for that too!Read More...

Rooms, (((hugs)))) We had some events at work about Suicide awareness. I was really touched. You know its the 2nd leading cause of death for our youth... How can we (as a society) go around sympathizing about cancer and heart disease, but remain so silent about suicide??? Thank you for bringing it to our attention. the more focus, the better. Every little bit counts.Read More...

Yes, sometimes transference can have an adverse effect on therapy. However, if you are seeing someone who was psychoanalytically educated and trained, transference is basically the heart of therapy. So one thing I wanted to make clear-when transference "gets in the way" of therapy positive transference can be just as or more destructive to therapy as negative transferrence. Its not a matter of positive or negative, but a matter of INTENSITY. There are things a therapist can do to lessen that...Read More...

Yay, thanks Butterfly Becca - LOL sometimes I think I dream topics too, I just couldn't remember it Usually I can find anything! Draggers - that's about how long I was digging too. I love the word 'potty' haRead More...

I hoped you were ok as I saw you had not beeen posting. Please take care and know we are here thinking of you starfishyRead More...

Hey there BLT - There you go again, figuring my stuff out faster than me. I hadn't considered this idea - that different parts of me were having such different feelings. That sounds pretty obvious now, but it makes such sense. My T has me picture myself as my adult self me, holding on one hip the insecure needy part of my disorganized attachment, and on the other hip my avoidant part. It makes total sense that parts of me are having different feelings. Untangling. Oh my, yes. YES. Thanks for...Read More...

Thank you everyone! Your posts have made me feel so much calmer, thank you, thank you! Starfish - thank you for your reply. You are right - these are issues of acceptance. Accepting what is true, accepting my feelings about it. And I can be gentle with myself as I fight against that acceptance, recognizing that I am making progress, little by little. Thank you! Kashley - thank you for your reply! I always appreciate your responses because you sound so much like me. Life was different when I...Read More...

(((Cat))) I can so connect to feeling like a fraud - I feel like any moment people will realize I'm not who they think I am. Actually, I connect with all that you wrote... and can only offer my empathy as I know what you're going through since I'm there too. Sending more (((cat)))Read More...

Hey LisaM! We haven't "met" so Going back to the initial post. Yes I relate in so many ways! The binge drinking, the walking on eggshells, emotional and physical abuse and this conflict(for me anyway)in viewing my father as on one side mr nice guy - friendly/funny and on the other side possessive/aggressive. Submissive mother - I think I understand why though (although growing up I battled to understand that) and in some strange way I almost see a strength in it today, in that she stayed...Read More...

((LIESE)) Thanks for the HUGS and the thoughts. I so needed it right now. It's been a rough few days. I am looking forward to session tonight. I am feeling lost right now. I like your idea of a puzzle. That might a good ice breaker. I do express to my T that I don't like feeling like all eyes/attention are on me sometimes. Maybe the puzzle will ease us into a discussion. Thanks for the tip. Tonight I am going to try to be as open as I can be. I AM not going to close up if I can help it. I am...Read More...

lots of really good suggestions here. bike riding, hiking, driving with the radio on, book store, library, kayaking. are you familiar with meetups? those are a wonderful way to connect with others with your interests. just google meetup and you're pretty much in. those are all way i try to cope. i was divorced a year ago and have an 18 and a 16 year old and they are becoming more independent, which leaves more alone time for me which is not necessarily a welcome thing. quite the contrary,...Read More...

I was diagnosed with ADD before I was diagnosed with PTSD. I tried ADD medication for the first time at 38 and I couldn't believe the difference it made in my working life. I have known my boss for over 20 years and he could tell there was a big change. Right now I am on Vvyanse and find it has a positive effect on my mood. I also take Omega-3 vitamins which are supposed to help people with ADD and I have several routines which help me keep on track. I am very methodical and I force myself...Read More...

I think you are right to bring it up to your T. In any profession, we have the capacity to allow our personal lives impact our work lives. I would expect my employers (which is what you are to your therapist, they work for you) to point out to me if my performance at work were suffering due to personal stuff. In fact, they have. So you are doing the right thing by providing valuable feedback to your T. She might not even be aware that personal life is spilling into your therapy.Read More...

So beautiful!! I am sure your T is VERY VERY touched by what you have brought into his life over the past two years. This was symbolically the most touching sweet thing, Anon. You are so sweet. Congrats on two years!Read More...

Wow, this really resonated with me, Cat. For the longest time I've felt like it was only OK to go to therapy if I somehow deserved it by suffering worse than other people (therefore I was cheating somehow by going). I've also felt like I could only call my T if I were having a horrible crisis, even though she never told me that. Yet, at the same time I felt like I always had to be handling the crisis WELL, and I couldn't seem too pessimistic. Just two weeks ago I had a moment of clarity in...Read More...

((((SCARS)))) I have trouble with the validation stuff also. I know I was invalidated as a child and I know that's why I have trouble in that area. My T didn't validate me at first but I think he realized I needed it and he worked very hard to validate ALL of my feelings, even the negative ones against him. I can't tell you how good that felt. No one has ever validated my feelings like that for me before. I used to think my feelings were "crazy" but with his help, I am starting to feel...Read More...

Good luck with everything you will be missed!Read More...

Ang and R2G, It's so good to know others struggle to express anger. This is THE issue my T wants me to tap and to date, I have not been able to do it. I can finally admit that there might be anger in certain circumstances, but I kick it away so quickly. Ang, I think your T would see it as a major step if you can share with him these dark places. I guarantee that he won't hate you. I have read a T's blog where he actually sees this as something that helps "nurture" the work. Seems SO bass...Read More...

Try try and try again. Unable to commit to the time required yada yada yada. Nice lady otherwise. Seems like she has been a good therapist for those in the past. It is diffrent feeling how terrible it feels talking about my experiences.Read More...

((((ANNA)))) Just checking in to see how you are doing since your T has been back?Read More...

((scars)) I really understand your feelings there - I'm glad though that even despite it being difficult... it was able to touch you. I think tears can teach us so much about ourselves. I have a hard time with compliments about some things, over time there are things I have learned that my opinion (most of the time) is positive too. One of the things I learned in DBT (a sort of "life skills" type of group therapy I did for my eating issues) is that when people give compliments most of the...Read More...

Hey guys. Sorry for my delay in replying. Thank you again for helping me see everything a little clearer. I spent a lot of time yesterday thinking about how I feel about her saying that she loves me, and yes, it is scary, but it's the kind of scary that will eventually turn to safety once I can see that she won't abuse that "power." Because, I do trust her - even more now because of yesterday's session. It's not complete trust, but it's deeper than I've ever felt before. She had known...Read More...

Thanks for the replies, ladies. I called T and explained that I had a cold and was contagious, and said that I supposed she'd rather switch to a phone session. She took me up on it rather quickly, lol. We also switched to an early afternoon appointment since I was going to be home anyway. Actually had a good and rather productive session! I just got off the phone with her. Now if you all will excuse me I must go blow my nose again. . . Thanks for the well wishes! luv, --meRead More...

Here is one I actually do like. http://www.thatonerule.com/rule/663Read More...

((((BG)))) The mind is so amazing, isn't it? Is it possible that part of you is worried that you won't be able to, for whatever reason, talk about whatever it is that you want to talk about in your next session? Either you both will be distracted or you will lose your courage and the dream is another part of you is reminding you that you'd better stay focused on the issue you really want to talk about?Read More...