It sounds like everyone knows quite a bit more about their T's than I know about mine. It was really great to read everyone's stories and thoughts on the subject. It seems like most if not all of you are saying that you think some self-disclosure can be helpful in the right context for the right reason. Does anyone want to care about their T? I want to care about my T but can't if I don't know anything about him. It's hard to be in a relationship and sometimes feel like I could walk away and...Read More...

(((((HIC))))) I love that you sent the email and I love the way your T responded. You two are building a very nice relationship by the sounds of it!!!! xxxxRead More...

Hi JenDark, My old eq T had supervision because she was just a few years into her practice, and my current t collaborates with another T because it helps her at times even after 30 years. They both explained to me that not much of what I said in great detail ever went to the other T. It was more about getting other ideas on how to best help, and if needed, getting outside input to help any counter-transference that was going on. I asked eq T for an example, and it was pretty vague what kinds...Read More...

Draggers!Read More...

There were some good points in this excerpt, but some I had to take with a grain of salt. In the case of expressing an opinion, for example, whether or not Fox News presents unbiased truth, yes, I would agree with all the points listed above. But people that DO say offensive things, as opposed to expressing an opinion, (for the flip side read Verbal Abuse by Patricia Evans) do so because they cannot differentiate between the real, separate person they are interacting with and their "dream...Read More...

Hi Scars, I relate to your issues, especially the superficial attachment. My therapist and I are currently working on that. It's tough, and it can take a long time, but it's the kind of thing that can be worked through with a good therapist. Like MMM said..you're not alone, not in the least.Read More...

Oh goodness BG I have absolutely no idea how I managed to reply on your thread I am so sorry ....now you definitely won't leave me any left-overs!!!!! starfishyRead More...

In my opinion, emotional pain is worse than any other pain. It is impossible to measure, comes from nowhere and hurts the deepest. From my experience, flashbacks continue on and on until I have deal with what lies at the root of it. Sometimes this has been fairly straightforward, by talking about the memory, it has in turn deal with the fear and with great relief the images have subsided. For other issues it has been much harder and the flashbacks are more stubborn, seemingly relentless at...Read More...

Cat - I haven't read any ACOA literature, because my parents both quit (my dad when I was four maybe, and my mom when I was 11?) when I was relatively young, so I don't feel I can relate too deeply...but, as with SG, the codependent literature gives me the exact same reaction. T lent me a book on codependency early on in our therapy and have read another one recommended by a youth pastor when I was very young and they also "messed with my head," in a similar way to what you're describing. I...Read More...

It may seem weird, but I have only used skype for this particular T. And I was dubious (for SO many reasons!). The first session was no more strange than a first session with any T. We have only had a couple of sessions with a bad connection (literally two sessions out of scores), and I did find that those were tough. At one point, we just canned skype and went to the phone, but that has happened just once. I would imagine that since you already have the emotional connection with your T, it...Read More...

This is a great attitude and you need to keep it going through the tough times. I am hoping for this too and when it gets hard, my T reminds me of just what you wrote above. He agrees with you! He tells me that therapy is the hardest thing I'll ever do but it will be so worth it on the other side and he is looking forward to going there with me. I'm so glad you have found this site to be supportive and helpful. We do our best. Hugs TNRead More...

I see her Thursday. Keep thinking do I really want to do this to myself again. At some point they get frustrated once I open up. Bad enough I scare them away when the real hurt is expressed. Get told terms i never heard of but sound like trust m. Anger them. Told I am a minefield. Told they can fix me"paraphrasing" because they are superior therapist. Told I am at fault for therapy failing because i would not let her help me.. That 6 weeks is what is alloted to med management. I am asking...Read More...

Hi again XOXO, For me the impulse was quite disturbing because I am finding out I am quite closed off in this arena (the giving affection arena!) It felt quite taboo for me. It is nice for me to hear your story. Your thoughts about your T sound very sweet. One other thing my T said to me about this is that given that this is likely arising out of a childhood need for love and attachment, going to sit on an adult's lap is what a child will reflexively do. It made total sense to me when he...Read More...

(((((DRAGGERS))))) Welcome back!Read More...

(((JD))) I love STRM's suggestion to focus on the short term. I have to do the same thing, because I honestly get thrown into a serious existential crisis (a.k.a. SU) any time I try to think about where my life is going at this point. I just have to keep my head down and just watch the road immediately in front of me and not try to find the road signs that are still out of sight. I also think that your panic makes sense because, even though you're doing some great things, they are still...Read More...

Hi scars09 and welcome to the board. I hope you find the support and information that you need here. In my mind, the difference between counseling and psychotherapy is that a counselor usually works on a short-term basis but the more important difference is that a counselor will advise on current, life events that are going on. That would include a recent grief, a decision about a job or school, a career change, having a baby or adopting, moving to a new area, parenting issues, etc. I think...Read More...

Hope that your week is continuing in the direction of more good days! It's always nice when one of those comes along!Read More...

Hi km... you are not alone you have all of us here to reach out to. Talking through how you are feeling with others can be very helpful. The other idea is to then get out of your house. Run an errand, go to a coffee shop or a store with a food counter. Browse around and shop or just people watch. That will take your mind away from being alone and you may even strike up a conversation with someone else sitting nearby. It's really helpful if you can make a habit out of going to the same place...Read More...

So what did you do? Update, please?Read More...

I like to think that even the "darker" parts of ourselves have some kind of positive intent to them, even if it's usually misguided. For example, feeling vengeful means you want people to know they can't get away with doing horrible things, so they will think twice about it in the future. Sometimes we are mean because we are trying to protect ourselves, or because some part of us wants the other person to experience how we feel when people are mean to us. I think being a whole person means...Read More...

Hi HIC, It seems like the incident did bring you and your T closer together in a good way. I suspect that she sincerely appreciated what you did. I think it's important to remember that our T's are human beings too and they also have their issues and problems. I think the important thing is that this is your therapy and the focus remains on you. It sounds like your therapist has been able to do this. HIC, I think our individual needs/reasons for therapy are different. For me to be better...Read More...

Attachment-hmmmm...I feel like I have had this powerful connection with my T since the very beginning. I was in crisis mode when I first met her, so I was desperate for help and was able to tell her just about anything. Over the years we've had some issues in our relationship and I did my usual shut down and retreat into myself thing. At times I feel incredibly connected to her. I get a mind buzz when I'm talking with her on occasion. Sometimes it's like psychic moments. I asked her in a...Read More...

Regarding the bits of cake in your kitchen, throw the leftovers in the trash. I learned in Weight Watchers not to bring the enemy home ( or let it stay overnight in the kitchen.) Get rid of your crazy making foods. I do not even buy cookies, or sweets, or other refined sugary foods. They are like crack cocaine to me. [QUOTE]Originally posted by Starrynights: (Obvious ED triggers) So portions of all of these were dropped off yesterday for judging, and now the remnants are all over my kitchen...Read More...

Update- Hi All, Thank you for caring and asking me how it went! While I was waiting for T to come out of her previous session, I was looking at my notes and feeling anxious, yet good. T walked her client to the front desk and gave her a hug! I had never seen T give a hug to another client in the waiting room before. I admit I was jealous and secretly wanted that to be me! Anyway, I had a great session. It was tough at times. We didn't even get to talking about terminating. I felt sooo close...Read More...