I had my session this week. It went fairly well. Since it had been 3 weeks since the last one it was like we had to play catch up (get re-aquainted) for the first 10 minutes. Then I started on a few things not totally deep, but deeper than chit chat. I didn't get to the deep stuff until we were close to done. ugh. I told T I was trying to decide if I wanted to share certain things or not. She asked why I felt like I couldn't share. I said it was due to time and due to subject matter being...Read More...

I have a question, are you trying to stop drinking, and if so how long have you been sober? I was taught to stay away from slippery places in my first year of sobriety. If you are dreading going on a vacation with drinkers, then follow your gut feeling and do not go. Vacations are supposed to be fun, and you are supposed to look forward to them not dread them. What kind of a vacation is a giant drinkfest where the point is to be drunk, not present in the moment? It looks like you managed to...Read More...

Yakusoku, THis thread is old but I will post anyways. If you think you should stop drinking, and you still have great desires to drink then you should follow your gut and stop drinking. Stop before your drinking becomes a habit you can't and won't want to stop. I stop smoking before I became addicted. Sure I like to smoke and I sometimes miss it, but I started to crave smoking, was smoking more frequently, I would think about smoking and looked forward to smoking breaks. I am glad I stopped...Read More...

Functioning is not living. If you are serious about stopping using, there is a lot of support to help you quit, there is even a 12 step program, Marijuana Anonymous. I have found forums for people trying to quit as well, you do not have to do this alone and you deserve to be happy. Start living life on life's terms, you will be a better person because of it.Read More...

((erica)) Welcome! I've gone through periods of not feeling validated by my therapist's too and I've raised fuss. I think as far as validation goes, at least w/ my Ts, they validate what I'm feeling or why I might be feeling that way. Where I think saying the opposite of what I'm saying would be comforting/reassuring rather than validating the 'core' issue. I guess my Ts work like NavyMe's - they do the body stuff too. I think Ts try to tell us the opposite of our negative feelings about...Read More...

((( Athenacus ))) sorry about all of it, can particularly relate to the "ex" stuff, but all of it sucks. sorry about the courses. ugh! you're not whining, you're just un-winding ... that's a good thing! i hope thing are looking better tomorrow! hugs!Read More...

I think you are OK, perhaps we both are? LOL. Me too. We seem to be harsh on ourselves!Read More...

Thank you so much for replying. It really helps to have some perspective! B2W you do make some great points. I strive to be forgiving and I act like I am but I guess I am just not ready. It feels like I am putting a lid on myself and my fears and my actual concrete experience (I literally have a 12 year old me in my head going 'what the hell are you doing?') and giving my daughter to her in an act of trust that is not genuine. But I am 100% willing to praise her for how far she has come and...Read More...

Aw TN...so glad you are feeling better! I can kinda relate because when my T remembers stuff we talked about, it's always a bit of a jolt. I used to wish that old T would remeber stuff, so I wouldn't have to tell it over again to remind him, which I hated very much. Now I have the opposite problem...can't get away with anything because T remembers stuff which I'm starting to realize. yikes. Anyway...glad your T is so nice to you. You need and deserve kindness. hugs, BBRead More...

BorntoWrite, You are a very inspiring writer! Your heart and soul illuminate your words. (((Liese)))), I hope you find self acceptance one day...Read More...

Thanks puppet and cd...you are right. safe distance always helps...I'm working on it, but man it is an uphill battle!... hugs you guys, BeebsRead More...

((((janedoe)))) I just really don't know what to say. The actions of that insurance company are so illegal and nonsensical it makes my head spin. Like I really do not understand why they would care at all about your T. It makes no freaking sense. And so I want to tell you get a lawyer and fight, fight, fight, because what they are doing is so wrong. But I can also understand you just wanting this over with, especially with all the crap you've been dealing with recently, so if your T won't...Read More...

Athenacus, BB and puppet, thanks for chiming in, I can use all the the help I can get. I am extremely attached to my T. Probably too damn much for my own good. Could be part of my problem. I really hate asking for anything from anybody. I pretty much believe in paying my way, and I would feel really awful having to ask for a discount. It is so against my nature. If I do and she says yes, could she possibly feel resentment?I don't think I am a very easy client. She has told me that I am a...Read More...

Erica and Athenacus - I'm so jealous! I only completed my BA in psych before starting a family, but I may go back one day! I love the subject so much!! Been thinking about my beloved T reading here. I said earlier that he knows I come here and that I really don't think he would take the time to check it out, but yeesh, not sure I like that kind of gamble! Under the cloak of anonymity, I say more here than I do to him, particularly in certain threads. Just not ready for certain things to come...Read More...

Thank you Closed Doors!Read More...

Navy Me. I can relate so well to what you have experienced. Early on in my therapy I took hold of T's hand without asking first and kissed it as my way of saying thank you for the session. I beat myself into a frenzy over what I had done and e-mailed her the next day to apologise, and even to say I would understand if she did't wish to see me any longer. T replied at once to say "Don't worry, you haven't done anything wrong". She now accepts that this is just my way of saying goodbye to her...Read More...

Thanks (((Cat))) and (((Liese))) I'm just trying to breathe through each minute. It's like treading water, which though I am good at doing, my record is just over two hours, and now I'm pushing two days. Sleep makes everything better. So does Xanax. This too shall pass, right?!Read More...

Congratulations discoveringme!!! That´s BIG achievement - LittlemeRead More...

Yep, totally me, too. It's terrible. I'm so sorry you have it too, but glad to know I'm not alone!Read More...

Thanks, AG. Even though I said I knew that she didn't mean it the way I took it, seeing your explanation of why she wanted me to attach to others makes me realize that even my own rational explanation was just finding another way to blame myself for feeling the way I do (if anything I just wrote makes sense). The thing that will stick with me the most is something she said that showed me she understood the weight of what I was telling her. She said that even if her plane drops out of the sky...Read More...

Just wanted to thank you all for the responses and empathy/sympathy.... but... Aside from the bad stuff there were some bright spots. Didn't want you all to think it was a totally bleak time. Seeing my son enjoy himself thoroughly with family he hardly sees. Watching him adapt to a new language. Laughing as he tried to catch lizards (even though I hate them). He had a really great time and I'm glad. Aside from that... I bought 2 great pair of shoes and a purse. My dh bought me for my...Read More...

Hi guys, thank you! I talked to my T about this today. She suggested (because I said the content of what I'm writing is.. hard and I think it might be too much to process and walk in to so deeply without I don't know? warning her?) that if it's too personal to try writing it out as a story happening to someone else to provide some emotional distance. That didn't really sound appealing to me. So we ended up talking about if I can bring it in and try to highlight a little piece and get through...Read More...

R2G, thank you so much for your response. I honestly didn't know that there are things that could be wrong and that doctors will often not know what to look for. I AM meeting with an ED dietitian next week and I've already signed the agreement for my T and her to exchange information and treatment plans. I think the crux of the issue with T is that I need to ask him, yes or no, if therapy is a safe place to talk about the ED stuff. He wasn't saying that he would "fire" me for a time while I...Read More...

Sometimes, the fact that someone (my T) believes in me is the only reason I try. There is for sure nothing like knowing someone believes in you!Read More...

Thanks all! (((MMM))) When you put it that way, it does sound funny, but I know what you mean! I also pay attention to all the little nuances, my problem is I don't remember what T says, or what I say, as they pertain to me. Those nuggets somehow land differently in my brain, and I hold on to the longer? Dunno. (((SD))) It's nice that T emails you the notes from the session, that would be pretty cool! My T doesn't do recording, but I may have to bring it up again, cause I am holding on to so...Read More...