i agree with Liese that you have to at least talk about it. please know i am NOT discounting your feelings, but i'm backing T up on this one ... i know they're busy folks to begin with, but can you imagine if every client had a book they wanted their T to read? they probably have a back-log of their own to read that they don't have time for. i DO understand your hurt feelings, but i also think it's a tall order to expect them to read a book for you, and don't think it would be unreasonable...Read More...

I think leaving her a VM would be fine assuming she knows you look at her FB page. My T broke her wrist not too long ago and I gave her a CastCover which she really liked. I bet yours would like something similar if you wanted to do something nice for her. Glad to hear your session went so well as that will help sustain you during your month long hiatus. Best of luck.Read More...

Puppet: I'm sorry...I just now saw your reply. I didn't mean to ignore you Yes...he is a pain in the %$^^&&&%%$ (LOL) ... I keep trying to offer him an out and he keeps telling me that he is not going to take the out...pisses me off... Hey, at least he is fighting for me when I can't seem to...or don't feel I am worth the fight... Thanks for your insight...appreciate it T.Read More...

AG: I thoroughly enjoy what you write and I can so relate to clinging to ankles and trying to run far away...I feel that way with my therapist...and honestly, at times, I feel that I am going crazy...like I want him to be close but I fight so hard to push him away...it really is confusing behavior on my part...not sure I understand it. He has told me that he will is here for the long haul, no matter how long it takes. Normally, that would be comforting, but I still try to push him away. He...Read More...

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING: I was thinking about those who have endured abuse and how one becomes so enmeshed with their abuser/abusers that they lose their own identity...it's almost as if they are no longer a person of their own...So, when you are having to learn where you begin and end and learning where others begin and end...it can be a real challenge-Especially when your identity has been so compromised.Read More...

[quote]1.what was your favourite food when you were a child? teenager? adult? Child - HOT DOGS; teenager - HOT DOGS; adult - STEAK (AND HOT DOGS!). 2.what chore do you hate doing the most? BATHROOM 3.what sound do you love? A BABY'S LAUGH OR A CHILD GIGGLING 4.If you could learn to do anything, what would it be? DANCE - I HAVE 12 LEFT FEET 5.what would you like to change about yourself this year? I'D LIKE TO LOSE WEIGHT 6.If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you would buy? A...Read More...

I started going to therapy ten months ago due to something very traumatic (a betrayal) that happened in one of my closest relationships. To put it mildly, a switch was flipped inside of me, causing me to become trapped in the trauma of my childhood. For years, I am 39, I had prided myself on not letting the first 16 horrible years of my life touch my husband or children. It seemed when the switch was flipped, I no longer had control over all the emotions, trauma, and I felt like I was headed...Read More...

Hi cogs, I'm so sorry that things have snowballed since that painful encounter with your mother. It seems like your T is really there for you and supporting you now, and I'm glad for that. I hope you can keep leaning on him. It took me a while to even realize the difference between my black and white mindset and whatever it is that I've somewhat moved on to. I don't even really know how to explain the difference yet, in terms of relationships, but I know that there is a difference in my...Read More...

(((Incognito))) Setting boundaries with family is so freaking hard. I had a recent situation where I walked out of a family dinner because of the arguing, cursing, and meanness that was flying about. As I walked out, removing myself from the chaos, not reacting at all, staying calm, I was the one called immature and childish. Funny, considering I wasn't the one yelling profanities across the room, or throwing plates... And I wasn't the one who called afterward saying one of the cruelest...Read More...

((starry)) ((cogs)) ((SD)) Thanks. I'm back to sorta the land of the living. I was dissociated out of my mind. I hate leaving sessions like how I did so triggered, so not contained. When I talked to T today she said she was okay with the time, she knew I was in a bad spot, and she was okay that I couldn't touch her she said that she figured if I did I'd just end up sobbing on her LOL. We're going to do some stuff on Wednesday to make sure I won't get triggered. In the meantime... I've been...Read More...

Hi Held, Oh I really like the way you are looking at the whole boredom thing. It's interesting because I do feel like I'm on a bridge of sorts also between the past and the present. The present feels so unfamiliar and scary. I guess all this old stuff has been keeping me company for all these years and now that the intensity is gone, it's hard to know how to organize my world. I'm not familiar with the feeling of being on level emotional ground. I'm used to the ground shifting all the time.Read More...

(((Starry))) Glad you enjoyed it.Read More...

Thanks for all the replies, I'm glad I want overreacting. I did talk to T about H's request. He said he'd be willing to have him come into a session long enough to answer his questions about the THERAPY PROCESS, not the content of our sessions. He did recommend that we wait until a couple sessions after vacation to make sure I'd processed that whole experience. He said that he'd be there to back me up and stand up for me if I needed him to do so. I told him that I was very possessive about...Read More...

That's awesome Athenacus. I love that someone training to be a therapist has so much input about what it's like to be on the other side of the couch.Read More...

I love you all so much and love hearing what everyone is up to! I've been so overwhelmed. This is yet another one of my threads I will come back to and individually reply I've been reading though and... hm I thank you all so much for also saying you've felt the 'omg every hates me' stuff too. We're adorable.Read More...

Well, I tend to agree with the article that the creator of this thread posted. I do find therapy to do more harm than good, but I'm sure there are others out there who disagree and have had a different experience.Read More...

I think its okay to love and can even feel good to do so. The danger is when we don't get the love back, and in my opinion, I really don't see how therapy is healing in this regard. Tread safely.Read More...

One of the most powerful and helpful things my T ever said to me (and i must tell her this) was that in our first real session she said to me that she is in the therapy relationship with me for the long term and there will be times where we both stuff up or that I hate her and I will lover her and that might even be at the same time". At the time I thought she was the crazy one to be saying that. Love and Hate at the same time. Crazy. But it didn't take very long for me to realise what she...Read More...

I am definitely attached to my DH. He is somewhat of an attachment figure for me, but my main AF right now would definitely have to be T. She's the one that I am mostly attached to. She grounds me. I do share with my husband. I talk about sessions, my recovered memories, and the feelings that I am feeling in/and about therapy. He doesn't fully comprehend the traumatic experiences or pain I have been through. His childhood experiences were very different. But, he understands my parents and...Read More...

I have a journal that I write in all the time. I am sure to write in all the positives that T brings to my life, all the progresses that I have made in such a short time with her, and how I know healing is meant for me. This usually allows me to realize that I am just struggling through something at the moment and that it will eventually pass(I have a little rule with T, too, that we will talk through hard issues with honesty before any rash decisions are made in relation to our...Read More...

sorry to be lateRead More...

TAS, After 16 months, I still refer to trauma and abuse as "the t word" and "that thing you said" as I can't even acknowledge those terms are applicable to my life. I'm still in denial about my dx of C-PTSD, and if my T handed me a book on trauma he knows he'd get it handed straight back to him. Sometimes I think he must despair of me, but thankfully he keeps it well hidden. As for the wanting to run feeling, I think that's pretty much a given in therapy at times. I'm going through it again...Read More...

Sounds like a really symbolic dream of your current fears, discoveringme. I encourage you to talk about this with your T if you haven't already. It does help a bit. The fears seem to always be there though, and it's just indicative of how important they are to us. I'm sorry you had such a terrifying dream.Read More...

so far everyone is safe - a few have evacuated and some are ready to go if they need to. Evacuation starts just three miles from my house but isn't predicted to come in this close. They are saying the earliest it would be out is 72 hours - se we wait and pray...Read More...

YES ~ and I didn't believe her....then didn't want to believe her....then believed her and asked how long....now trying to accept it takes a while....Read More...