You guys are awesome! Thank you so much for the replies...and thanks closed doors for the article reference...I will be checking it out! Thanks, T.Read More...

bravo!Read More...

Thank you AG and HeldinCompassion for your responses. I can't write any more at the moment, but I wanted to let you know that I love my T classes so far! I actually got to pretend to be a T and a client in a practice T room. That was sooo hard!! I don't know how T's make it seem so seamless and normal. It was very awkward to be a pretend T. The client part was easier, of course. I'll write more at another time. Thanks for reading my ramblings.Read More...

Hey R2G, Sorry, I decided this was better off deleted. More of a self referential rant than anything, spurred on by a transient annoyance. Thanks for your reply, though.Read More...

I was about to write out my experience of this and read R2G's account above and I could have written it word-for-word. I did everything she said!!!!! It takes time, it takes ruptures, it takes a truck load of heartache, pain and misery. It is a gradual process (for me) and by my T being consistent and giving me what i needed - i now feel attached. Talking through that pain has and still is very painful. Me telling her that I needed her - just about killed me. But now I can say it to her face...Read More...

oooh, I'd have done the same thing! I actually went to a function the other night and was terrified to go because I know that it is the same social circle that T is in, and I did NOT want to run into her! I made sure to arrive on time, and stayed only long enough to be polite before leaving, just in case T arrived later on!Read More...

Hi TAS, Just really liked what xoxo said here: I am still working through those feelings of rejection with my T but it is getting better. It has been hard for me to figure out when I'm actually being rejected vs. when I am taking something personally that I shouldn't take personally. It's tough work but going through the process really is helping me figure out where I end and others begin as I have been a bit porous. It's also helping me develop a healthy and more positive sense of self. I...Read More...

Thank youRead More...

We have had some big ruptures and each time my T has been wonderful. I think mostly because she is experienced and knew where it was coming from. Even when she did things that caused it - once I explained how she affected me - she always apologised and worked on how we both fix things for the future. Sometimes my T has caused it - she lets me be angry and admits her fault and we fix. My T always says that we are humans, both of us will make mistakes and that we need to talk it through. Each...Read More...

I can't stop thinking about this either. And I am scared that he'll get frustrated that I'm still struggling with this.Read More...

Good to hear, 3M!Read More...

Meraynjel ~ That is great you are going to give calling a crisis line a try! I think the more you talk about it and share with others, the more it will help sort this out in the best way for you and this T. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you can or should also forget. If he was sorry, if he was repentant and really taking responsiblity for his own stuff and his terrible professional boundary violations in the therapy with you, he probably would be reffering to you to consult with another T...Read More...

((((NAVYME)))) What a great email! And yeah, I agree, about needing people. I think it's great that you recognize how vulnerable it feels to put something out there and not get a response. I do that and then realize after the fact that maybe I shouldn't have done that. It's taken me a long time to get a handle on it. The email thing is hard because I think I'd be tempted to say things in email that are harder to say in person. Good luck with the promotion. I hope it comes through. And good...Read More...

I personally would loath sessions with anyone continually adjusting himself be it shoe salesman, hairdresser...or therapist. Likewise a therapist who told me that he thinks about me when we're apart would be over the line. I think it commendable that you are clear that there are certain lines therapy should not cross. Sorry that you have to deal with a professional,who should know better,disregarding basic civil behavior.Read More...

Thank you all for the explanations. I thought the red exclamation mark was an indication of a warning and I was always afraid to open them up out of fear I'd get a virus or something worse! LOL!!!Read More...

I don't think she is saying she needs a break from you but I hope you'll tell her how you feel. My T told me I saw her for about 6-8 months and barely said anything the entire time I was there. What I remember of the sessions is talking a lot but she actually LAUGHED and said... no... I literally sat and said almost nothing the whole time. So I think if you're overwhelmed... it's easy to forget. Even now I can't remember the first year of my work with T2. Missing the content of your sessions...Read More...

Wow, thanks everyone for good support and ideas. I like the idea of writing to her so that I can get all of my thoughts out safely. I think I would just flat out describe my experience to her and ask for a refund. Something along the lines of.... "Hi XXXXXXX, After having some time to reflect and gather my thoughts, I wanted to share my experience of our session last week. I was really disappointed that I didn't get to talk about anything that I needed to, either for my own healing or for...Read More...

Thanks, Cat, luckily it's not a constant thing, and when I think about his family's dynamics it's really obvious where he learned the behavior. We've been married almost 25 years, and at least now he's aware of the pattern even if that awareness doesn't always prevent it from occurring. Most of the time I just see it for what it is and refuse to be dragged in, sometimes I call him on it, sometimes not. There are times I can't help but get sucked into the passive-aggressive-fight-for-control...Read More...

(((ANNA)))) Hope you are doing okay. I was just wondering if you could just ask your T if he is committed to helping you. And that it would give you tremendous peace of mind knowing he is and that you can be yourself without living in fear that he is going to terminate you. He does sound like he cares about you. LieseRead More...

Ang, thanks for your reply . I can manage 1x/week sessions, just not two.Read More...

((((MADMAN)))) Oh, this really spoke to me because I've always said that, that I only hurt myself. I will check out those authors you like. Thanks for sharing them. LieseRead More...

My T works out of two different offices that have a bunch of Ts who all work from a Christian counseling perspective, but in both offices, he works independently. At least one of the websites (one that has a nice photo of him on it, sigh, so now I've gotta look at him to verify I was right) specifically says that the counseling center is composed of independent, non-affiliated professionals and that my T is an independent mental health clinician. I know at least one of the offices does have...Read More...

Interesting question, Held! I also have a BA in Psych, but had no idea how messed up I was til around age 40. I went into psych with a passion to understand what makes people tick - what motivates/inhibits/stifles emotions and behaviors. I remember knowing by 8th grade what I wanted to major in at college. Took the one psych class offered in high school and knew I was on to something - fell in love with the material and never looked back. I loved all the college coursework, even training a...Read More...

Edited for content - AG Madman, please check your private messages. This is a Chit-chat forum meant to be trigger free, if you wish to discuss this topic further, please post in another area of the forum. AG, ModeratorRead More...

he IS running the wrong way...perhaps he might want to just sit down for a while take a few deep focused breaths and walk in the other directionRead More...