Ang, I worry a lot that my T is going to get frustrated that I'm stuck. But they do say that if we're stuck, it has something to do with the dynamic rather than that it's just our fault. I try to remind myself, not always successfully, that the therapy is for me and I am the one who should be judging the therapy and if it's working for me and if I'm getting out of it what I want to get out of it. That doesn't always works but helps sometimes. And then other times I just tell myself that I'm...Read More...

Awesome, Hoosier. Let us know how it goes (if you are comfortable doing so, that is. I understand if not.).Read More...

TN, Sorry I'm new, so you have probably seen your T by now I hope. Vacations are so hard and I am grateful that many Ts like mine and yours are often only gone a few days up to a week. How did you cope? it is harder at the regular session time I agree! I don't know if you saw my post on attachment but would be interested in your take since you also have a male T.Read More...

I always think letting someone know, young or not, ahead of time is beneficial. At least in my case I feel it is. Yaku one of the main differences between you anre your daughter are that she has someone. It makes sense you're going to think a lot of things about what she feels - and it's your job to be attuned there - but really she'll feel how she feels and what makes the biggest difference in her life is having support, having a "good enough" someone to be there with her through whatever...Read More...

I am glad you explained it, but sorry that you have trigger happening. I don't think you would upset anyone - it is just that we worry because we careRead More...

XOXO - just beautiful I too just want to sit here and feel those feelings that I imagined after reading your post. I am so glad you explained it so well SDRead More...

BLT - Thank you so much for your comments, and OH YES did they make sense. AG - You are my needs hero. Yes, yes, exactly - It's not safe for me to say, "I need you to come home early" but it is so safe (and also validating love for me) for her to say, "I want to come home early" even though that is what I need. I read your last paragraph, and I know it to be true, but good golly that little injured girl inside me just squirms all around to hear you say it. Thank you for saying it. Starry -...Read More...

((((XOXO))))) LieseRead More...

Quell, I use the stuff brought up on the forum mostly every week. It helps me talk about subjects that I would never dream about talking about or having the guts. Sometimes I will say - someone this week said xxxx - but I am not sure what I think about that - and T and I will discuss. Or something will be here that is exactly what I am going through and I didn't realise it! I would never want my T here at all - as I have revealed a lot. I would be in mad delete mode if I knew that. She has...Read More...

((((COGS))))) Just checking in and hoping you are still on that upswing. I love what Iris said about seeing you striving because she is so right. You are in more pain on a constant basis than probably anyone I know and the easy thing to do would be to quit, to give up. But you don't. You keep trying, hoping something will give, something will break. And it will. All that hard work and determination will pay off. You know, those neurons form a little more slowly (okay, maybe a lot) at our...Read More...

(((((ELIANA))))) So glad things worked out with your T. Your story reminds me of how scary it feels to be angry with someone important but to learn that they take you seriously and care about your feelings. It really feels good, doesn't it? He sounds like a good guy. LieseRead More...

TAS, in my experience therapy can be painful and difficult, but there are ways to make it more tolerable. Sometimes you need to slow down, change tactics, or even find a different T. For me I needed the last options because therapy was making me worse instead of better. IMO, don't do stuff that will cause you more pain than you can tolerate. There is always another option somewhere.Read More...

Athenacus... I agree with Liese and Draggers too. It may be a bit to share but.. sometimes it can help. Sometimes I can't control my facial expressions - it's like they operate separately from me sometimes - and I remember T was telling me a story where she said her and her friend had been partying and were downtown and she said 'It was probably like 1am and we were..." and I guess I gave her a look when she said 1am (this story is from like 15 years ago) and she corrected herself saying...Read More...

(((SD)))) Hope we didn't go off track there too much. Glad you feel okay that T won't terminate you. It does take a long time, doesn't it? It can get frustrating at times. Hope you are hanging in there today. xoxo LieseRead More...

That's just awful SD - but I'm very glad you made it and are here. You'll heal, but yes it does take a ton of time. I really understand what you're saying about dissociation interrupting things like mindfulness, touch, trust. Based on some of our somatic work my T suspects my Mom drank with me (no shock) and I know I made her ill enough she was in the hospital for the first part of her pregnancy as well. I think there are a ton of different development stages that can lead to very specific...Read More...

Thanks, Hopeful! I'm nervous about going, but at least I'll have my kids with me this time! StarryRead More...

Dearest (((Draggles))) thank you so much - I'm so looking forward to watching this and enjoying!! You really are such a caring little honeybun!!! xxRead More...

((((TAS)))) There is no failing in therapy. It's taken me a long time to get that. Actually, I still struggle with it. If I was truly myself all the time in therapy, I would be unhappy and crying throught every session. Why not try the weekly sessions and see how you feel? If you feel worse, then talk to T about going back to twice weekly. If you feel better, then stick with it. It might not have to be a permanent decision. Good luck on Wednesday, if you go. LieseRead More...

Good topic, Yaku. Lots of stuff here to think about. TNRead More...

(((Anna))) So sorry that your T will be gone so long! Mine has already given me a heads-up that he may be unavailable next week, and I'm mentally gearing myself up for it. Last summer, my T had a massive stroke just a few hours after our appointment, and he wasn't expected to survive. I was devastated!! In a very selfish way, I might add, because all I could think about for weeks was just the following: "what if I never see my beloved again; how will I go on without him?!" And "what kind of...Read More...

Cat, Hoping you get that interview and the job if you can get everything to work in your favor. Good Luck. HopefulRead More...

Catalyst: Thank you! Hearing you admire the landscape lets me appreciate my country more. Never before have I thought how great it is that I can walk from my home through the forest to the beach, I can walk to the botanic garden and the zoo. 15 minutes drive and then I can walk the mountains. Glad you remembered my T collage and thought it was cool. I have many photos of OldT, which I have collected from the internet, but this is my favoured. I can feel as she looks at me with her caring...Read More...

Liese - Glad that holding onto your T is easier today. I think, despite my best efforts, I also get caught on past perceptions of my T and they interfere with me staying connected. It can be so hard to hold on at times and it takes me an extreme amount of reassurance to do it still. It can be difficult not to beat myself up over it, but my T has always said he understands that when someone's trust has been so wounded, it is difficult to be vulnerable again in that way. There are pockets of...Read More...

This is another good site if you just want to host an image quickly: http://www.postimage.org/Read More...

TN, I'm glad it helped you also. It seems like if we could figure it out it would alleviate all the story tellin' fir me personally anyways...maybe? The positive keys also are interesting for me because I had one of those experiences recently so it took me back to a really relaxing experience. I'm glad you liked it also. HopefulRead More...