Aw, thanks to each of you, I feel better about this now!! I really thought I must be an oddity the way he said how unusual it was. Whew! I loved your stories - too funny about marrying your brother! I guess it would be interesting to figure out if any of our siblings married us , huh? Hehe. Or not.... !! Starry.Read More...

thank you BLT, your advice because you went through it too offers me some hope! not sure if she's not giving me what i need or i'm not letting her give me what i need - or a combination more likely... puppetRead More...

somedays - i am in a very similar stuck place right now... yes big fear = big resistance... i dont have any advice except maybe to just accept where you are and talk about where you are (and why) if you can. hope it goes well for you. TN, we're all jealous of your T, as you probably know puppetRead More...

Sorry I've ignored my own thread for so long. Something came up today and I have started to realize another reason it bothers me and it is just because of some inappropriate joking by H that made me feel another layer of there being something wrong with feeling liked, cared about, special to T. I talked to T about ad nauseum today and to H tonight and I think we're all on the same page about him avoiding those triggering teases, so I am feeling a little less stressed about it. Sometimes they...Read More...

Pingu, Catalyst, HeldInCompassion, Somedays: Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. Catalyst: I swear that was just like me. For the first few months, every week, I would ask: "How much longer? How many more sessions?" He would tell me he couldn't answer that. At first I thought he was incompetent. I have fought having any kind of attachment, so I know specifically what you mean when you talked about 'tools' and such. Last session I told him how scared I was of forming any...Read More...

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I really appreciate it I guess all things work out with time. T.Read More...

Thank you so much Anna. I appreciate you sharing that with me. T.Read More...

I am a semi-pro artist who really uses my artworks to express my inner world in various media. My suggestion about your anxiety, Cat, is to be brave but to start with a very simple drawing, as easy and brief as you need it to be, just to get started.Read More...

(((smallfry))) I can only say that if you were my child I'd be begging NOT to stay with this new job. Nothing is worth the sort of risks you are being asked to take. I just hope so much that you decide never to go back again. Hopefully you can fit right back into your old job. Please keep us informed of how things go and please look after yourself. AVRead More...

Hey HIC, I finally have the time to come back to this thread! Yeah, feeling sorry for someone does seem to have a more negative connotation, but not always (at least in my opinion). Sometimes we feel sorry for someone because we just can't put ourselves in their shoes to be able to really understand what they're feeling, so the best we can do is feel sorry for them and acknowledge that the situation they're in is unfortunate, but we can't relate to it. Also, just the phrase "feeling sorry"...Read More...

Thank you so very much all for your supportive responses.. Honestly I dont even remember how the next session went, or what happened or why or when I was feeling this way. Its all very confusing to me. But at this time, I am very grateful I have your responses to look to, whenever I am feeling this way again. I know my T cares, and thats probably comforting and equally horrifying to me, because Im not sure what "caring" means. But I suppose im learning, through this forum and through T...Read More...

Have a good time AG!!!Read More...

Thank you guys...your input is really helping me work this out. Thanks for the hugs, Yaku. ((((Yaku)))) Av, thanks for reminding me that everyone has doubts. One thing about working here (as a student worker, which I did for two years) is that I've gotten better at feeling okay about asking for help. I had to get up and ask questions for just about every phone call and student I talked to yesterday, but seeing that everyone was okay with it helped a ton. And it also helped to know that...Read More...

beautiful and sad words muff, but why are they 'parting words'?... i hope you're not going away? or are you ending therapy?... sorry if I have missed that... hugs, puppetRead More...

Oooh, I would definitely put a friggin' window in his closer office. As long as there are good blinds. The natural light is so much better! As for blankets, T has them. Either he has two of the same kind or he actually carts it with him to both offices so I can use it. He was doing that with the glove panda I made for him, bringing it to his Monday/Tuesday office, then to his Wednesday office, then home and back again the next week. It went everywhere with him. I told him just to leave it in...Read More...

MMM, This thread you started and the responses you received...BLT, AG and Kashley helped me finally understand also so Thanks...and MMM for starting it. HopefulRead More...

Hi Pixie, welcome to the forum! I admire you so much for having addressed these issues so directly, and I completely agree with the others here - therapy would be immensely helpful. If I can share something for just a moment, maybe you'll see what I mean. I lived a life that was pretty self-destructive for a while, and then "got rescued" by some dear friends, and made some massive changes in a very short time. It was like a honeymoon phase, you know? I felt empowered, and I'm pretty sure I...Read More...

Hey Meta, very interesting thread! I've been experiencing a little of what youre describing to a much lesser degree with someone I love as well, but it seems to blindside me til his reassurances help it subside. When I'm going through this, like today actually, I felt both clingy and avoidant st the same time. Like saying, "i love you, I need you" as I pull away. There are definitely triggers though - have you noticed any in your case? Like Xoxo said though, maybe it's a personality trait.Read More...

Hi Tas! I think it would be helpful for both you and your T to let him know what you're going through. Perhaps there are specific triggers he could avoid? I told my T that he fits the basic description of men I used to seek out, which was making my transference worse I guess, but there's nothing he could do about his appearance! I just wanted him to understand where I *think* part of the erotic transference has been coming from. Yaks!! Same here! Posting about it elsewhere though, hope you...Read More...

Thanks Cat. I talked to my regular T a bit about the parts stuff today and my choice to continue with him rather than switch to the parts T. Apparently I had a lot of ground to cover today and he didn't get much of a word in edgewise. Next time I'll ask him more about what he thinks. I think you are right that there seems to be some overlap in approaches and theories, even if the T doesn't strictly do IFS. Your idea about considering the general direction you and the T are going in therapy...Read More...

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I appreciate them.Read More...

I am 37 and my T is 50!Read More...

SD: I'm glad that the experience was positive for you. In and of itself it seems likely harmless enough. However, it is a slippery slope. Yes, in long term therapy things get more personal and deeper, likely for both the client and the T BUT that can be a double edged sword. Dual relationships in therapy, especially while still in therapy are prohibited for a reason and that is to protect you. I know it seems like it helps you get to know your T and likely it does, but that can interfere...Read More...

Thank you all for the kind comments. I loved reading the replies! HeldincompassionRead More...