EJ, I'll look into that book as well. My mom also suffered from depression and I now think she had bipolar tendencies. She would be in a good mood for several months and then not get out of bed for a few months. So, I never knew which mom I was going to get. My parents always told me to be determined so I have a hard time forgiving her. She could have gotten help and refused when we suggested it. Yes, it's a long process and my T. kept telling me to stop rushing through. Most importantly, DO...Read More...

Thank you for your reply AG - really appreciate it. I kinda suspected what you said - that it's a helix with a loop going around and around... Guess I was hopeful it might be different though, Cos it's impossible to see how much deeper and more painful things can get - it's so up and down. I can be doing ok, then thrown into deep pain ... Come out the other side, feeling better and feeling I've made progress - only for the next round of pain to be deeper still. Since yesterday I'm really...Read More...

Lucina, I knew I saw your post the other day because it was exactly what my T said to me. I wondered why you deleted it. Thanks for putting it back up there. When I read it, I knew I was not alone. Thanks.Read More...

Thanks, Caroola! I'm doing a little better (I think) with the transference/touch issue. Transference is still way off the chart, but for the moment I've accepted that I'm not getting touch from my T. He's pretty insistent that he's not going to touch me in any physical way. However, he has this crazy ability to make me feel incredibly loved and accepted, so I've been able to keep my head about the whole issue.Read More...

That, Lamplighter, is a good question. I usually wear a big "I'm soooo independent and ever so well coping" chain-coat, but have spent the last 2 sessions before he left in tears telling him how much I wished he could me my mum. So yes, he knows. What you said Monte, now makes a lot of sense: It's that, loss, and no upside about it. And t being a away really really painfully makes that clear. Did anybody read Alice Miller? I particularly like "the body never lies" and "the drama of a gifted...Read More...

Welcome to the forums Provocative Girl! I agree with the others, this topic is discussed tons even if it isn't in this specific thread. Please feel free to add here or post a new thread, you will likely get feedback!Read More...