Hey all, Sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to this. I think I needed to just disconnect for a couple days...I don't know. Thank you, as always, for being so wonderful and supportive. Thanks, GreenEyes.. I know it's not fair of me to keep questioning myself about T's original comment. She did apologize profusely and took complete responsibility for what she said. She said that there's such a fine line between trying to encourage someone to control their thoughts and acknowledging...Read More...

Thanks for all the great suggestions. I decided to make heart shaped pizza. My T even suggested making heart shaped pepperoni. I picked up my 5 year old from her babysitter and very enthusiastically went to the supermarket to buy pizza dough, pepperoni, etc. We were in there about 10 minutes tops. As we were getting in the car, I did something incredibly stupid and locked (thinking I was unlocking) my car with my purse, my cellphone and the car keys in the car while still holding the...Read More...

Hey Cat... I know that feeling of overwhelming anxiety. I do think that engaging in some physical activity helps with running down some of that adrenalin that is pumping wildly. but sometimes I just need to try to sleep if I can and usually when I wake up it's better. Your T's don't hate you at all and I know how strong and powerful those feelings are at times but they are feelings from the past that cannot hurt you now. You have survived the worst of your past and you are a strong adult now...Read More...

After today, I can't help but add another one: Her complete willingness to own up when she makes a mistake.Read More...

you have such a lovely voice, BLT! thank you for sharing it with us!Read More...

(((SCARS))) That's a funny dream.Read More...

Thanks, everyoneRead More...

Actually the bicycle is easy on the knees if you adjust the bike properly. I ride with a knee replaced and limited range of motion. I also use the recumbent bike at the gym. It is harder on your butt then your knees. It is great exercise and an hour a day will burn a lot of calories.Read More...

(((AV)))Read More...

Hmmm a lot of interesting responses...come to think of it, the only time I didn't see freak when I saw T outside the office was when I invited her to come see me act in a school production last semester. We mingled and had a few laughs afterwards but she sent me on my merry way with my friends...I guess I didn't panic cos I actually was expecting it and we planned it...still weird though. Will it ever stop being weird? :PRead More...

Aw, thank you, my lovelies. It went better today than I was even hoping, and certainly much better than I was fearing. My anxiety about sharing the poem with her was really mounting as the session drew near. H told me I seemed more nervous about showing a poem to T than he had been about proposing to me. But, I sort of forgot the obvious, that this was not a case of my poem or me being on trial, and the fact of a surprise gift and the charm of the little book itself (it really is a pretty...Read More...

Yay, another dream thread! I love these. Lemme see. . . I have a lot of dreams about moving into new houses, or discovering new rooms in an existing house. I tend to interpret them as being about self discovery and/or personal growth. Seems like the jumble of elements in your dream could be reflecting a more chaotic transition to which you still have to adjust, and maybe uncertainty on how best to do so. Resenting a change, perhaps? On some hopeful notes-- 6 other offices plus the one you...Read More...

Thanks BLT. I like your ideas. Wanted to let you know I will be out of town for a few days; will get back to this when I return.Read More...

Oh, interesting Av. This actually fits somewhat for me. Lately, I've been trying to find a job, and I was forced to admit that job searching is not something I am good a. It requires more persistence and discipline than I can easily muster. I can begin to admit that I need help with it, but at the same time I don't want the kind of help some people have to offer, which is to urge you into applying for jobs that seem good but aren't right for you, or to help you make your resume look perfect...Read More...

Of course, how could I have missed the connection? Now that should be analyzed; I must have attachment issues. What is the significance of the boomerang?Read More...

This seemed like an exceptionally lame idea. How else do you overcome self assessment bias indeed. I was actually surprised that the percentages of those who don't improve or deteriorate weren't higher. It seems like such a lot goes into a successful therapy-- has to be the "right" therapist, the "right" time, and the client has to be willing to do the (often draining, exhausting, and excruciating) work. I guess you get out of it what you put into it, but even for that the conditions have to...Read More...

I have the relax melodies app - it's a good one!Read More...

((AG)) Such a great phrase. I thought it was you who coined it. It really captures the essence of the experience. Such a great phrase for such a shitty place.Read More...

thank you Av, I have printed the list and will take a close look at it later.Read More...

Very cute hedgehog! "Tim Hortons" (the name on the mug) is a Canadian chain restaurant that serves coffee and donuts. Delicious!Read More...

(((Starfishy))) I've missed you too!Read More...

Your use of words!!Read More...

Woah- Just re-read this thread before turning in and I didn't mean specifically that DF turned a member away. I think we all know DF wouldn't tell someone they couldn't get help here. Totally my bad. I meant it was sad to see a member ask for help and not receive it. Sorry about that draggs! LilliesRead More...