Hey R2G, Sorry, I decided this was better off deleted. More of a self referential rant than anything, spurred on by a transient annoyance. Thanks for your reply, though.Read More...

oooh, I'd have done the same thing! I actually went to a function the other night and was terrified to go because I know that it is the same social circle that T is in, and I did NOT want to run into her! I made sure to arrive on time, and stayed only long enough to be polite before leaving, just in case T arrived later on!Read More...

Thank youRead More...

I can't stop thinking about this either. And I am scared that he'll get frustrated that I'm still struggling with this.Read More...

Thank you all for the explanations. I thought the red exclamation mark was an indication of a warning and I was always afraid to open them up out of fear I'd get a virus or something worse! LOL!!!Read More...

Thanks, Cat, luckily it's not a constant thing, and when I think about his family's dynamics it's really obvious where he learned the behavior. We've been married almost 25 years, and at least now he's aware of the pattern even if that awareness doesn't always prevent it from occurring. Most of the time I just see it for what it is and refuse to be dragged in, sometimes I call him on it, sometimes not. There are times I can't help but get sucked into the passive-aggressive-fight-for-control...Read More...

((((MADMAN)))) Oh, this really spoke to me because I've always said that, that I only hurt myself. I will check out those authors you like. Thanks for sharing them. LieseRead More...

Interesting question, Held! I also have a BA in Psych, but had no idea how messed up I was til around age 40. I went into psych with a passion to understand what makes people tick - what motivates/inhibits/stifles emotions and behaviors. I remember knowing by 8th grade what I wanted to major in at college. Took the one psych class offered in high school and knew I was on to something - fell in love with the material and never looked back. I loved all the college coursework, even training a...Read More...

That's just awful SD - but I'm very glad you made it and are here. You'll heal, but yes it does take a ton of time. I really understand what you're saying about dissociation interrupting things like mindfulness, touch, trust. Based on some of our somatic work my T suspects my Mom drank with me (no shock) and I know I made her ill enough she was in the hospital for the first part of her pregnancy as well. I think there are a ton of different development stages that can lead to very specific...Read More...

Thanks, Hopeful! I'm nervous about going, but at least I'll have my kids with me this time! StarryRead More...

Cat, Hoping you get that interview and the job if you can get everything to work in your favor. Good Luck. HopefulRead More...

Catalyst: Thank you! Hearing you admire the landscape lets me appreciate my country more. Never before have I thought how great it is that I can walk from my home through the forest to the beach, I can walk to the botanic garden and the zoo. 15 minutes drive and then I can walk the mountains. Glad you remembered my T collage and thought it was cool. I have many photos of OldT, which I have collected from the internet, but this is my favoured. I can feel as she looks at me with her caring...Read More...

This is another good site if you just want to host an image quickly: http://www.postimage.org/Read More...

TN, I'm glad it helped you also. It seems like if we could figure it out it would alleviate all the story tellin' fir me personally anyways...maybe? The positive keys also are interesting for me because I had one of those experiences recently so it took me back to a really relaxing experience. I'm glad you liked it also. HopefulRead More...

Aw, thanks to each of you, I feel better about this now!! I really thought I must be an oddity the way he said how unusual it was. Whew! I loved your stories - too funny about marrying your brother! I guess it would be interesting to figure out if any of our siblings married us , huh? Hehe. Or not.... !! Starry.Read More...

Hey HIC, I finally have the time to come back to this thread! Yeah, feeling sorry for someone does seem to have a more negative connotation, but not always (at least in my opinion). Sometimes we feel sorry for someone because we just can't put ourselves in their shoes to be able to really understand what they're feeling, so the best we can do is feel sorry for them and acknowledge that the situation they're in is unfortunate, but we can't relate to it. Also, just the phrase "feeling sorry"...Read More...

Have a good time AG!!!Read More...

Thank you guys...your input is really helping me work this out. Thanks for the hugs, Yaku. ((((Yaku)))) Av, thanks for reminding me that everyone has doubts. One thing about working here (as a student worker, which I did for two years) is that I've gotten better at feeling okay about asking for help. I had to get up and ask questions for just about every phone call and student I talked to yesterday, but seeing that everyone was okay with it helped a ton. And it also helped to know that...Read More...

Oooh, I would definitely put a friggin' window in his closer office. As long as there are good blinds. The natural light is so much better! As for blankets, T has them. Either he has two of the same kind or he actually carts it with him to both offices so I can use it. He was doing that with the glove panda I made for him, bringing it to his Monday/Tuesday office, then to his Wednesday office, then home and back again the next week. It went everywhere with him. I told him just to leave it in...Read More...

I am 37 and my T is 50!Read More...

SD: I'm glad that the experience was positive for you. In and of itself it seems likely harmless enough. However, it is a slippery slope. Yes, in long term therapy things get more personal and deeper, likely for both the client and the T BUT that can be a double edged sword. Dual relationships in therapy, especially while still in therapy are prohibited for a reason and that is to protect you. I know it seems like it helps you get to know your T and likely it does, but that can interfere...Read More...

(((Liese))) Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me. W decided to retire early from work about 3 years ago and is really just waiting for me to do the same. She's a few years older than I am and I just don't feel ready to give up the one thing ( apart from being on here of course ) that keeps me in some sort of contact with the outside world. It is a drain emotionally sometimes but we'll get there somehow.Read More...

Thanks Coco, I really believe you phrased it better than I. I suck at life. I just can't get comfortable at all. It is draining. You are right,this forum is basically life-saving.Read More...

Hey Jen, Recovery and relearning how to take care of ourselves isn't a linear process. For example, I made some progress this week - my T even calls it a milestone - but I also have done things that I wouldn't call progressive at all. Opposite actually. But that doesn't negate the progress I've made. The same goes for you. It's totally possible to be doing good things and making good strides but still have some weak moments. I think exploring the feelings behind your decision to get a...Read More...