(((TN)))((((YAKU))))((((HIC))))((((NINNN))))((((SG)))))(((( Thanks for all the good wishes. Hope everyone is doing okay out there. And, SG, I love the Christmas tree. It's so pretty. xoxo Love, LieseRead More...

Hey thanks everyone That's made me feel better. Strummergirl: Yes my feelings were denied. My Stepmother was my main carer and when I would get upset over something, her messages were 'Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about' or 'Wipe it off your face, stop crying. I'm counting to three. 1, 2, 3'. Or I'd be sent to my room to deal with myself alone. I have a vivid memory of being sent to my room and crying it all out for ages until I gave up and played with my toys. I was about 7...Read More...

Good question Hummm, now that I think about it, I'm not quite so sure. My memory of childhood is quite fragmented. If you're talking about vivid memories, well, I remember when I was 5 and I was learning words. I loved spelling. I was in the hallway in summer and I was given a word to try and learn to write. I ran out into the shed, wrote down these words and came back to the hallway. I'm really thinking hard. Haha. I can't remember much of very younger years. I can't remember much of older...Read More...

Re: Christmas videos and other Christmassy stuff!Read More...

xoxo, Thanks for the link about object relations...it is giving me some understanding. You had said 'fixation" to me a while back and I keep trying to work that out. Your stuff always gives me relief because I get a little better understanding of what and maybe a little why. As always you are very helpful. HopefulRead More...

I held on to this one for a while, and I think a part of me still does. What I've realized during the past few extremely teary sessions, is that when I am in my Ts office, sitting in the comfy chair, I DO feel held, even though T stays in her chair. I sit there and cry and cry and cry, and I think it's because I feel wrapped up in her words... And as much as I would love to have that hug and be able to lay my head on her shoulder and wrap my arms around her and let her hold me while I sob, I...Read More...

Freud, He's a lucky guy, that he doesn't know what it feels like. There's not a heck of lot that could be worse than feeling like that. You're a good person and you didn't do anything wrong. When the problem was brought to your attention, you fixed it. As AG said, we can't anticipate everything and everyone's boundaries. We can only respond when things are brought to us. xoxo LieseRead More...

I'm sorry, MTF...I don't remember doing that. Big hugs, BeebsRead More...

Yes it helped very much thank you. BTW I just found out that the trigger was that, it actually started a few weeks back,had actually not been sleeping well for a while now but from what my sister just said, he was extremely worried about his mom and what he could do to help her because like many times before his mom was in a domestic violence situation with her current boyfriend. This time she had asked him to let her move into his apartment, he said yes then in a matter of days went back to...Read More...

Ack (((df))) I know the confusion and topsy-turvy way you are feeling right now. I am feeling the same in many different and similar ways. Same here. I've been known to apologize in situations that are clearly not my fault at all. I apologize A LOT. I have a tendency to exhaust the situation through intellectualization so that by the end of it, I've somehow managed to place the blame on myself. It scares me to confront, even in a balanced and fair way. I have this automated thinking that is...Read More...

Hi, HIC...I don't think you overreacted at all. That would have thrown anyone, especially since the guy was angry. fwiw, I think it probably makes sense that if he was angry and annoyed, it is likely that he really couldn't find the right house. Still, I'd call the dominoes and ask about it, just to get peace of mind! I remember once, a guy I saw on the street flipped out, and yelled at these people who were driving by. For some reason I confronted him on his anger, pretty aggressively,...Read More...

I agree with using laughter as a defense in the situation you are talking about. I find myself saying "it's funny" and even laughing, in therapy, and then I'll sometimes say, "Well, it's not very funny, but...." and can even start crying right in the middle of laughing. I really hope, for myself, that I can stop with the walls and defenses, but I guess I am trying to protect myself....Read More...

((((((df)))))) (((((forgetmenot))))) (((((fot))))) I'm so sorry the holidays are hard for you as well. It seems like family stuff just intensifies around this time of year. Or it is the same, just hurts more. It does help to know I'm not alone in dealing with the holiday blues... I was going to go do a Christmasy thing tonight, but I can't seem to get myself to go... I talked to my brother, and I'm happy for him... and I'm must admit, I'm also downright envious of him - he has a wife and new...Read More...

Jane, I have a similar problem. Sometimes I get almost manic about having everything in my home clean, neat, and organized. Every corner of every room, every shelf of every closet must be in order-- a place for everything, and everything in it's place. I do think I feel better, over all, when my house is like this, even though I can be a bit frenetic about it. Then there periods (increasingly long and frequent I'm afraid) when I just can't seem to bear to straighten anything . Clutter piles...Read More...

DM: Ah! Thats exactly how I was. I should have gone to therapy a long time ago but my moods would change. If I was upset, I'd say 'Okay, okay, I'll consider therapy' but then when my mood got better, I was convinced that I was fine and therapy was not needed. It's difficult because those better moods are very influential I found. Glad that you are on your way to finding one And good luck! The best thing I done was start therapy. It's started to make things an awful lot clearer. I'm sorry...Read More...

Oh, and Mayo I was going to add that with the help and willingness of most of her teachers to learn about RAD and implement appropriate praise and consequences, my Sped daughter who had been retained in first grade when I got her is now in gifted and talented classes in 7th grade and is a model student! Teachers can make a huge difference in the lives of these kids and I bet you will too!Read More...

Hey, DF. I thought the same thing about number 9. And I also thought the first two or three looked like contempt. I don't know about this test, but I know of other studies that have used faces for things like this that are composites of several different expressions, so it's totally possible! Good luck on your paper, Cipher! I hope everything goes smoothly. Thanks for giving us these fun tests to take! Hehe.Read More...

p.s. df, I didn't see your reply. Your suggestions make sense. There was a time where, when I lived closer to Mum, I got closer to her and even started hugging her closer but I was still finding it hard to mediate between what she wanted of me and what I wanted of myself. I will go over there for a restricted time for xmas. Maybe just for the day. I prefer to be footloose these days. I might feel lonely and feel this pervade me more, but I also feel clearer on my needs and my emotions. I'm...Read More...

(((((RAVEN))))) I get like that too, something happens and in a nano second, get thrown back into these old emotions as if it were yesterday. Your T sounds really supportive. It's as if you see the family relationships with a film over your eyes. At some point, the film will be gone and everything will be much more clearer to you and it won't hurt so much. At least that's what I'm hoping for. xoxo LieseRead More...

Oh, I should say that I did tell my T about it...five minutes before the end of my session. Then he brought it up with about 10 minutes left in the session after that. So I guess we're getting into it slowly! People have recommended nutritionists to me, so I might just be uncharacteristically pro-active and see if I can meet with one before I absolutely have to. Also, I told a couple of my friends about what's going on and that has made me feel better, not because I think it's great stuff to...Read More...

Hehe, I like Liese's joke. Hope finals are going well, Cipher!Read More...

Echoes, MASSIVE hugs to you. I can not imagine how painful it must've been to see your siblings getting the care and nurturing you must've been craving but were denied. No wonder it hurts so much to realise there are no photos of you. There are some of me with my family - both my parents are into photography so they are not usually in them but just us kids. I'm a wire monkey baby too. It's incredibly painful and not that I would wish that on anybody else it's some comfort to know others know...Read More...

held rose quartz on monday at group, dropped it with a clang/clunk and it went underneath the bookcase. Got down on my hands and knees at break time to find it. Held it during the next hour. heart chakraRead More...

Thanks for chiming in again. It's nice to hear that I may have done something right in my talk with H. It doesn't seem to have made all that much of an effect on him, on the other hand, the baby has been inexplicably more cheerful and easy going lately, so H has been much better, too. I'm afraid I just don't appreciate his good moods very much when I have to attribute them to hers, though. On the other hand, it's been good to have a little more peace around here. I do think H's attitude may...Read More...

Hello I think it is very normal to feel that way . My therapy ends in march next year and I'm already grieving the loss of my therapist . She assures me that this is a natural process , but to me it feels like hell . I'm also very attached to my T and she says I will feel a huge loss and shed tears for that's natural as well . I hope this was sort of helpful .Read More...