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The PsychCafe
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Classical Coffee Talk

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pf
Thanks, happy to be here, most relieved to find this forum indeed : ) Well she was T5, T6 is male and thankfully doesn't notice what I wear and lets me come in my jeans. Therapy is hard enough as it is without having to try to make myself look nice too when I am in pain. Body work? what is body work?Read More...
IN a long post session email to my T I put on paper things that I was afraid to say about what I want to get out of therapy and what I want from him. I used some of the words that some of you had already used. Why change it when it already works? Here are my thoughts: What I Learned/Am Learning from Therapy 1. I'm learning that I am not the person I was always afraid I was. 2. I learned that even though it looked like abandonment and felt like abandonment, you did not abandon me. 3. I'm...Read More...

5 years and 170ish sessions -updated

cnc
I'm still new to this therapy thing and T unfortunately missed the boat on commemorating it, because he didn't answer my question about it soon enough. So, he didn't understand at the time what I was doing, but I told him later. I gave him a hand-made sock monkey. It is on display on the shelving that is attacked to the top of his desk. He now gets it out immediately when I come to the office, along with turning the lights down for me. I guess it's as much a gift for me as him, though, since...Read More...

Thank you!

blackbird
Thanks guys...I imagine I am probably posting as much as many of the members do, though! It's just I posted *so* much before, and was constantly here...so I felt I owed a little bit of explanation, why I am not around so much! Still here, still posting when I can! Love you all- BeebsRead More...
Hi heldincompassion, Nice to meet you on here> I think I have a big tendency to intellectualize absolutely everything that I am not familiar with. For the past week I have tried to work out what I feel, what I don't but unfortunately it hasn't really drawn much conclusion out but confusion and panic. I find it hard to 'let go'. I'm not sure what that means anyway. I will follow your advice and talk to her about it. Thank you I hope your therapy is going well.Read More...
Hi Blackbird, Nice to meet you. Thankyou for your reply. Well therapy has to stop because I'm due to move 3 hours away. The thought of it makes me sick. The thought of being alone makes me sicker. I am willing to travel every weekend on a 6 hours train journey just to keep going. I feel that I am in the midst of things and cutting off will be like cutting off a lifeline I really need right now. I go through weird ups and downs. One minute I'm okay and nothing seems to be wrong. The next...Read More...

Totally lost

Just got a call back from my therapist. Short call, but both of us in tears on phone. IK now know it's not the end, as he said when he has dealt with his personal issue he will ring and we can continue. Still feel very lost, but need to look at this as a challenge - I want to make him proud of me for being able to use the skills he has taught me for times such as this.Read More...
Thanks for the support here! Today was harder, because she knew what to expect and they didn't have paints out to get her really engaged. I stayed about 30 minutes to get a clean separation, because Auntie is picking her up today, so her whole routine will be off. She cried once for about five seconds when the teacher tried to engage her, but the second time the transfer went smoothly. I hope she's doing OK and not being a banshee!Read More...

x

blanketgirl
((((BG))))) Sometimes it feels like my whole post-going-to-therapy-regularly experience has been about dealing with shame. Now that I am able to freely experience my feelings, I notice that I'm feeling that way a lot more. It's a terrible, overwhelming feeling. You should be proud of yourself for being able to find that space between your feelings and what you know reality to be. Everyone is human, we all make mistakes and the way to handle them is to take responsibility, apologize and do...Read More...

A Therapy Question

unbroken
I email mine from time to time more so I can get something that is bothering me clear and if I send it off, I will quit thinking about it. I usually try just writing it down to see if that gets it calm, but if not, and I need to function I send it off because I figure she does not even have to read it, but at least it is not with me anymore. Sometimes she will respond, but I usually do not want her to and if I do, I say so. I only call for scheduling matters and I hate texting in general so...Read More...

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pf
Hi Frosty, I'm not saying you'll be in therapy for 20+ years. Don't get scared. I was in therapy a little bit, mostly in college. But back then, I didn't attach at all to my T's. And it was harder, because I was using the therapists in training at the college and could only have access to them during the school year except for breaks and then the next year, I wasn't able to have the same one. And, so that might be part of why I didn't attach. But it was also harder for me to open up. I had a...Read More...

Birthdays and T!

unbroken
Thanks for all the support! I needed it! The day came and went-- NOTHING! Wishing things were different, but oh well. I thought that my biggest wish would be for for T to acknowledge my special day, but I guess now my biggest wish is for me to overcome this attachment to her and realize that I am on my own. I feel so disconnected with T right now. I'm startin to wonder if she's the ONE for me, or is there someone else better suited for my BPD issues?--BrokenRead More...

Love roll call.

ladygrey
I've gone back and forth a lot on this one. But even as furious as I am with my T at the moment, I think I've arrived at a point where I believe that, Yes, she does love me.Read More...

Been MIA

forlorn
Hi Forlorn, Sorry to hear that it's things going badly which is keeping you away, but I really do totally understand. It's ok to make sure you have the capapcity to be here helping others; acutally it's a good thing. I want to urge you, along with TN and Yaku, to talk about what's going on if you think it would help. Thank you for checking in, it really helps to hear from someone from time to time so we don't worry too much. (((Forlorn))) AGRead More...
Thank you DF and Yaku. I had a response almost fully typed out to you guys, but I'm not sure I can post right now..I think I may be slightly dissociated? I just don't feel okay posting when I'm not fully here. I'll be back at some point to respond to you both. I'm sorry I haven't yet, but thank you for posting and being so helpful and supportive.Read More...
Hi L2F... it's interesting how we all see things differently which I guess complicates things for the T. I so WISH I could see some little bit of emotion from my T. I never see anything but his very normal look. He never seems to react to anything I tell him when I'm being emotional or struggling. He just sits and listens and, although I may be wrong, this makes me feel like what I'm telling him is just no big deal and that I'm making too much out of nothing. It makes me feel less connected...Read More...

couples struggles

jones
(((Jones))) Thank you so much for what you said, I am incredibly honored that you would see me that way as you have so much wisdom of your own. It means so much to me to think that my experience was of help to you; it was very generous of you to say so. My hope is that you continue to experience freedom in your therapy that leads to healing. much love, AgletRead More...

Needing my Therapist

blackbird
bb, yes, i agree. until we get that self esteem filled to a certain level, the frustration can't be helpful. and what is frustrating, is that, at least in my case, and possibly yours as well, they see the house of cards and the track record of success and assume the self esteem is intact, and just go to step two. i dunno, this positive acceptance stuff is hard to come by. compliments just don't come forth too often. i like what ag said. that powerless motive IS so true, and something i have...Read More...

Missing in action

Hey, Rio...I hope your emergency surgery goes well, and helps you. I hope you are relaxed and peaceful about it...and I hope to see you back posting soon. Peace, BBRead More...
(((TN))) (((DF))) (((hemlock))) Thanks for the reminder, you guys. TN - I am less worried about T retiring and more worried about him ceasing to practice in my area. Both of the other areas he does his private practice work out of are much closer to both his home and his anger management program. When he is out here, he is usually booked pretty solid both days (and has to be to make the commute expense feasible). I'm sure it would make more economic sense for him to expand his practices...Read More...
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