Thanks to all of you. I still feel dumb but that's ok. We talked a little about how I am feeling and I said I'm not happy. She asked me if I thought I was that bad. I said not bad but just not happy. She asked if I wished I could feel happier and I said yes. I just don't see it happening. I keep telling myself that I have no real reason to be unhappy. I have a pretty good life and I should be happy. I'm just not. I just feel down most of the time. I don't really care what happens. I don't...Read More...

Retrogal, LG and Justmaybe, Glad you liked it. Retrogal, your story is so inspiring. I hope I can get to where you are one day. I'm glad you finally feel free to be yourself. Justmaybe, I'm glad it fills you with some glimmer of hope. Take care of yourself as you wade through that stuff with your T.Read More...

((((Draggles)))) pcd thank you and heaps of s and lots of love to you and your inner family and your outer family! Here always! M xxRead More...

((((Draggers)))) thanks for the hugs and well-wishes!Read More...

Ok, so i am back to get some honest feedback about this situation. Last night, the counselor concluded that a panic attack which is the result of my husband's PTSD is what caused his rage the other day. Her solution is that he needs to see the dr again and discuss his anti-anxiety meds again... which I took away and hid, because he was overdosing on these and then drinking on top of that. He has real trust issues with psychologists and psychiatrists etc... so... this makes me feel like the...Read More...

Beautiful songs, Draggers! The One by Gary Allan: No rush though I need your touch I won't rush your heart Until you feel on solid ground Until your strength is found, girl I'll fill those canyons in your soul Like a river lead you home And I'll walk a step behind In the shadows so you shine Just ask it will be done And I will prove my love Until you're sure that I'm "the one" Somebody else was here before He treated you unkind And broken wings need time to heal Before a heart can fly, girl...Read More...

There's no such thing as a pointless update Frosty! Thanks for catching us up with how things are going. Sounds like you've got some good goals and are moving forward. Good progress! Keep us posted! ((((Frosty))))Read More...

GG... sorry for all the abbreviations. CBT is cognitive behavioral therapy which is usually short-term therapy that focuses on changing behavior in clients. It does not usually delve into the underlying deeper reasons for the behavior. If you want a more accurate description you could google it. It's a type of therapy used a lot today. Then there is psychodynamic therpay or psycho analytical therapy which is more concerned with our childhoods, our past and how that has made us who we are...Read More...

Yaku - HP was by far one of the best movies yet - I think it stuck to the book the closest of all the movies (probably because it had the least amount of pages to cover!) That's just my opinion though, and I hope you enjoy it! BG and AG, as always, though I might not be posting much these days, I always appreciate your insights when you share your experiences!Read More...

Hi Ninn, you are right, I believe it is more "anger turned inwards": than "repressed anger". I never seem to know what to do with it. My T has told me she thinks I have lots & lots of anger, and she has me reading a few books on the subject of forgiveness as well. She has also told me that I need to think more about gratitude, as a way of dealing with my anger. I do feel better the last two days. I know the walk helped and actually the cleaning was very good for me as well. I have not...Read More...

Glad to hear your T is going to step it up and go where you need and want her to go. I hope it goes well for you. MTFRead More...

I get the feeling you are ready to deal with it since you are thinking about it. Maybe I'm wrong, but hear me out. My T says, "If you're thinking about it, and not wanting to talk about it, it is a really good indication that we should talk about it." When she tells me that, I put it out there, and it helps, to get it off my mind and feel proud of myself for facing something I thought I couldn't. Let us know what you decide to do; I'll be thinking about you.Read More...

(((BG))) Thanks, your joke to your T gave me a big laugh too and a big smile, which is sorely needed today. I am hoping some day in the (probably distant) future, I won't be so ambivalent about every single relationship I embark on, especially in this thing we call therapy that really feels like open heart surgery (minus anesthesia) sometimes.Read More...

FFOW, I can actually imagine T as the protector with no issue. She has even physically acted this out with me when I felt scared like there was an abuser in the room. It's when I try to have one of my internal parts be a protector or someone besides T that it is more of an issue. I'm glad that you had a different experience and your responses changed. That is great!Read More...

Please stay safe Jane! Go ahead & cry, but not too much - you are in a flood warning already! GGRead More...

GG- what would you say if one of us was posting what you posted? Would this be the type of relationship that you would want me to have with my T? Or would you think I deserve someone compassionate, a good listener but firm and challenging just the same? I feel the physical illness from this. It hurts to read. I know she helped you and that is awesome. Take what you got, it's good. But what she is doing now is not good. If she's got compassion fatigue, it's up to her to suggest a break. No...Read More...

Hi DeepFried, I don't think your T is judging you for the decisions you make, right or wrong. We all have times when we give in to the negative feelings and behaviors and that's part of being human. It's a process. My rule is full disclosure with my T, even if it is the same old story. He/she is there for you. If you are hiding something from him/her, may be it would help to look at that, to tell the T that you thought you should withhold this and why. What happened when you were a child is...Read More...

TN, I think that was very sweet of T to include that little note in his email to you. I do think that was his way of reaching out to say he was thinking of you, that he cares, and he knows you are having a difficult time. Very thoughtful and caring of him. Warm fuzzies just thinking about it. I also want to say that I can relate to the whole birthday misery thing. Two years ago on my birthday I came home to find my husband of only 7 months having sex with our yoga instructor on the sofa.Read More...

Thanks Yaku, Amazon, and smiley...it helps me feel less alone that you all experience this as well...but i feel sad that you do, too I don't know what else to write right now...feeling my social anxiety kicking in but i wanted to respond and let you know i read what you wrote...mlcRead More...

perhaps its actually nothing to do with right or left side, perhaps thats just a smokescreen and a way of fantasizing one has control over their anxiousness?Read More...

MTF, I think what Monte said was dead on and very wise. I know that your T has said over and over again that she understands attachment, but I'm not sure that she's experienced with working with attachment injury as a core issue. I am sorry for the confusion and pain you're in. AGRead More...

Kashley, strm, yaku, lg, bb oh thank you so much! I did send my t and email saying please ignore first email! Somewhow at my appointment neither of us brought it up. It crossed my mind but then a million other things did. Either way, I think it was good I sent it because in a different way I ended up working on some of the same stuff I brought up in the email. I don't know if she read it or not, but the "please ignore previous email" email that I sent seemed to help my heart at least just...Read More...

Aw AG, poor you, no wonder you needed a bit of support tooo. I hate the dentist (well, not the dentist himself as mine is very gentle and very gorgeous, both of which help ) .....but I hate going and the vulnerability of it all. Well done you for getting through, I am glad your T is there to help when you need him. Big hug, starfishyRead More...