Can you show us in the SI section?Read More...

Done... Feeling like a big FAIL. I'm not even bringing in the amount of money I'm costing in therapy lately. Phone interview for part-time admin job Monday at 9:30. Less triggering, less stressful and could walk/train/shuttle to work if I absolutely couldn't drive for some reason. We shall see...Read More...

Daisy, I know where you are coming from with this. There is never enough time, especially after a long break. I nearly always have double sessions yet still sometimes I run out of time. One thing that I found really hepful is to write everything down that I need her to know before I go to the session. Then I can hand it over at the start and she can read it and get the jist of what's happened since the last session and what I want to talk about, and can help me prioritise wher to begin. I...Read More...

Thanks for relating to me, STRM. I guess. I know she is both good and bad, but...I feel like when I watch her play, there is no way she could be AS bad as it seems like I have made my T feel she is. And, I've actually tried to be objective and fought him on some of his conclusions. I feel like I've made her look so bad, humiliated her to my T. Ugh, I think I'm having memories here, not a present day experience. She was always very sensitive about people knowing how things really were, not...Read More...

You will get through this, R2G! (Sometimes it helps when someone else says it too). (((morehugsforyou)))Read More...

UV - Glad you were able to reconnect so well. Your T's CT feelings would have had my kids in overdrive.Read More...

Wow.... what a powerful session MTF! I agree with the others - it sounds like your T really does care for you and just wants the best for you. MTF, I went through six different meds before lucky number seven finally started working. The first med lasted 3 days, but the after effects (negative) lasted over a week. One of the meds made me suicidal and insane, literally! I wanted that med to work so badly that I was trying to lie to my T about how I felt, which of course, she saw right through,...Read More...

You guys have been so very nice. So many replies that it's hard to reply to each. I don't want to leave someone out so I will just generally reply Now I worry that I have offended you guys by not responding. (ARGH) I guess that is PAD again. I will remember that we all have the potential to suffer from PAD. I want you all to know that your responses here have made a big difference to me. This place is very important to me and I swear if it weren't for it I'd be so alone with all these...Read More...

This statement reminds me of how I feel with regard to my oldT. I am having the worst time getting through the grief and letting go. I'm also stuck in my therapy because I cannot seem to talk to my T about the things that are unrelated to oldT. It like there is a wall between me and all the stuff I need to access and my oldT is standing there with his arms blocking my way. I just cannot get to the other side of this grief to where the other issues wait to be revealed and discussed with my T.Read More...

Enjoy the process BG!! Sounds like a great pick-me up for the house and for you! Oh, and when you're done, if you want to work on another house in need of some updates of color... let me know! I have some blank palates waiting!Read More...

(((Jane))) I'm glad the doctor was nicer this time around Casts stink - I had one last year for 7 weeks and it was my dominant hand... made things challenging for a while! But, it also helped me appreciate the simple things that I so often took for granted (like applying deodorant!) We'll be sending warm fuzzies while you are healing!!Read More...

((((LG)))) I think it has to do with who you feel safer with. You know that T2 will not judge you or evaluate you, maybe, but with T1 you are not so sure because her boudaries are not as tight? It could be. It is hard to cry on the phone with a T. I used to cover the receiver with my hand so that he couldn't hear me. Made me feel very alone, and cry more, adding another layer to it. Not so good. On Skype it was ok, cause I was pretty sure he couldn't see me very well anyway, and often...Read More...

Didn't mean to upset you or anything, MH- I know things can seem ok in the context of how they are happening. I think it would have been totally fine for your T to disclose if the client was actually dead, but since she was still alive, should have kept the client's confidentiality as a matter of boundaries? oooh just my opinion though...based on the very, very little that I actually know. no hard feelings or anything at all, I think your T has lots to offer and does many things well, but in...Read More...

OK, well, it's pretty lame still. Basically, I was around three-years-old, I think. We went down to Southern California to visit Disneyland, Universal, etc. At Universal, I got to go in the "Knight Rider" car and talk to it. It asked me a bunch of questions, including where I lived. I said the city where I lived at the time. It asked if that city was near San Francisco. I froze, because I thought it was, but I wasn't sure, so I said, "I don't know." When I got out, my dad and my grandma (his...Read More...

Thanks, Ninn. I am almost as scared of him calling back as I am of him not calling back. I do NOT like talking to people on the phone. I actually dislike it more than in person. Outside of my H and my sisters, T is the only one I have ever felt comfortable having a phone conversation with and it was work to be comfortable with that. I don't want to have to tell this guy about my crazy dissociation stuff. I don't want to open up to another person. Somehow, T just crawled under my radar,...Read More...

Yes, to this! Oh, and if my T said she "knew" something about me, that would piss me off. Even if it were partly true, I don't like when other people decide they are the expert on me. Sometimes, T says, "Oh, you're feeling better this week!" and although I might be feeling a little bit better, I'm mostly the same, and I get really irritated that he is deciding for me that I'm feeling better. I don't know what that's about. Maybe I feel like he's trying some Jedi mind trick on me or...Read More...

(((LG)))Read More...

Liese, I think maybe he is telling you that he is committed to you because he senses a need for reassurance? You yourself have said that you are feelign more dependent on him....which I think could stem from a need at this point in your life for more reassurance. I think he was sweet to tell you that. I don't think it holds a deeper hidden meaning, but simply means that he isn't going anywhere. He make be going on vacation and may not always be immediately available, but he IS committed to you.Read More...

Yes and no. Our family appeared mostly normal on the outside though we were outsiders even in our community. I blocked out the worst of the abuse, yes. However, I always knew that something was wrong. I knew since about 13 that I was sexually abused. I didn't call it that until later, but I knew that I had been hurt. I knew that I couldn't trust my parents and never felt loved. However, I was well taken care of in terms of basic needs and grew up pretty well off so I had all of the material...Read More...

((((Yaku)))) Well, like you mentioned, the silver lining is that this just kick-started the next chapter of your therapy AND broadened your support circle, both of which are great things. I love that line - we plan, G-d laughs - and no matter how many times I watch the movie Evan Almighty, I still love the part where G-d is telling Evan's wife that when we ask for courage, we aren't given courage, but instead, given the opportunity to practice calling upon courage. When we want patience, we...Read More...

Gargyrle, I am so sorry for all the loss that you have had to experience I too am a bit concerned about your T's comment about being a drama queen and thinking you are a victim, though I understand that she is providing enough for you to want to stick with her. I hope that you are receiving the support that you deserve. Hugs ButterflyRead More...

I wonder if this didn't trigger you somewhat Liese considering the issues with your T being giddy about not having a clot or the vacation. Just a thought.Read More...

Ninn if you can afford the money it's a good investment. You will be able to get some rest and calm and your kids will be happy too and then when you ARE with them you will enjoy them. Have you looked into any summer camps, even half day ones? There are churches that offer bible camps for little kids that may be very low cost or even free if the need is there. If you can't do camp then hire a teen who is good with kids and needs a summer job. I did that for half days one year for my son. It...Read More...

UV Thanks for putting such a positive spin on all my pain. LOL!!! Where do you find your info on emotional processing? Exactly what is it called? Funny, I'm the youngest of 3 and I was the first to move out of my house. A little older than you but before my brother and sister. The only thing about his leg problem is that when I had the same thing (the swelling is caused by an injury) the technicians, etc., were being dismissive about the blood clot thing, just something they HAVE to rule...Read More...

Thanks everyone, for thinking of me! I made it. I ended up sitting in the corner of my couch with my laptop and journaled my way through it. Thankfully, it was only about 30 minutes or so of terror, then the warnings expired and the sky cleared back to a dry, dull, grey. There was some major damage in counties around mine, but we were pretty untouched, this time. I learned that I most definitely need to discuss this with my T, who actually lives in the same city as my parents (about 20...Read More...