Sometimes, he speaks in unnecessarily complicated spiritual terms, to the point where I told him that my pastor's "for dummies" version of abiding worked much better for me. However, in person, he has said before that he liked or approved of or something like that "all" of my different ways of being (I don't remember if he said faces or facets or parts or what). It was a month ago. So, I'm guessing highly favored means, "I have a really positive opinion of you," but maybe he's being careful...Read More...

BB - I didn't take any offense at all...I was just explaining what I think my H's reasoning is for his preference. (((hugs back))) I am writing a list of questions to call the one Clinical Psychologist in my area who has a doctorate AND lists specialties in areas I think are essential. I'm sure there are others who are experienced with dissociation, but just didn't pick it as one of their (maximum 8) criteria. That's why I wish these people would just have basic websites with a tiny bit more...Read More...

((((MONTE))))) I am sorry if somehow I missed that part about his impending retirement. I know it seems like 5 years is a long time away but it would definitely prey in the back of my mind also, like why bother getting attached. It definitely sounds like you need to talk to him about this because maybe there IS something he can say to ease your mind. LieseRead More...

Thank you so much LG. Okay, I'm so sorry. Let's just forget I said anything. Least of all because of what anyone else said (you're all amazing to me. Really), but just my own stuff. I don't know what's going on with me lately. Hmm..how ironic is it that I'm triggering myself even more by posting that I'm triggered? Thanks for the support nonetheless.Read More...

Oh LG, your question really made me laugh. What's your answer? Do you good "makeup" sessions?Read More...

YAKU and BUTTERFLY, Thank you for your replies. They were really helpful. I have read that kids who come from families wherein they talk about emotions and label emotions do better in real life later on than kids who come from families wherein they don't to those things. So that was kind of my angle when I was trying to get her to take a look at herself instead of just blaming her friend, who might, in fact, be a bulldozer. It's so hard to talk about emotions when everyone seems to feel so...Read More...

Hi, Pinki2 and welcome to the psych cafe. Therapy is hard because we often have to hear unpleasant truths about ourseleves, yet- if it is done with coldness or indifference than I think that would make it a lot more painful to hear than it would need to be. Of course, there is always the chance that it is hard to hear her acceptance of where you are at because of transference or projections as they say. SO try what Ag said! You could tell her that she feels cold when she tells you things and...Read More...

It doesn't seem like you're whining at all. I know how you feel about T not responding. I sent him a bunch this morning and no response all day, so I probably won't get any. ((((more hugs))))Read More...

Hey Smiley! Glad to see you out and about a bit! That's the thing I love about this place most - if I need to fade into the woodwork for a while, that's ok. If I need to post 50 times a day, that's ok. I've learned that the cafe is open 24/7, and it will be here for you whenever you want to order! (((Smiley)))Read More...

Sorry to be so late but Happy Birthday! Glad it was wonderful.Read More...

Thanks. Dropped off and picked up H from his session and did grocery shopping in between. Didn't go in when I dropped him off and made sure to get out of the lobby before T came out when we left. I don't think I could have handled seeing him. Sometimes, I like to see him with H and Boo and see him interact with her a bit, if he has time. It reminds me that I am an adult and a mom and makes it a bit easier to not be that little kid when I see him later. However, I guess avoiding that is not...Read More...

WTG MTF!!! What a HUGE step! So glad you were able to voice those thoughts in your mind. I was particularly proud of this one: My T has asked me that before I and I truly had no answer, and honestly, I still don't know if I do. Keep doing what you're doing, it will get hard, it will get easier, but ultimately, you'll feel so much better! (((((MTF))))Read More...

BB, it is lovely to see you too! and thank you so much for your encouraging words. and your caps come on at a very good time, i like that. yes, it is very hard because no-one knows how hard it really is to even just show up at work and say hello to my co-workers without feeling like the lowest scum on earth, never mind actually do my work and keep up with their crazy deadlines. i am exhausted, physically and emotionally, most of all by my desperate and compulsive attempts to keep up with...Read More...

Liese - Thanks for your input. I'm dedicated to going back at least through the end of my H's business trip. There is no way I'm cutting off my support while H is out of town. We'll see how things go for now. BB - I think the problem is, and I feel ridiculous every time I say that...the connection with Jesus means a ton to my adult parts. It is a very safe feeling place for any internal mes who are post-conversion (late teens) age and when I am upset in one of those modes, I actually find...Read More...

Good luck and enjoy your lunch. Feel free to PM me if you need somewhere to unleash your expletives! (((DF)))Read More...

Regarding my mom, yeah. My older sisters got taken away when her boyfriend beat them (which I witnessed, I guess, but don't remember). They moved with their dad. My dad moved back in, because she had a breakdown. According to my oldest sister, when she was home on a visit, my mom ran out into the living room (where my dad was sleeping) and threw herself at him naked and begged him to make a baby with her. He said, "[Mom's name], we have three beautiful children already," and something about...Read More...

UV - sweet for you to call me Kiddo. Wish my T would do it again. Oh, no, I've been seen! Yeah, I call my "executive" part the intellectual or observer. That part and my caretaker part are responsible for at least 90% of how I interact with the world, usually. There are parts of my personality like playful/humorous parts that are pretty cooperative with nearly any state too, though. Ugh, I still feel embarrassed admitting how I divide myself up. Yes, this makes a lot of sense. Feeling myself...Read More...

(((STRM))) Thanks for the hugs. I am just having a rough time with having Boo all on my own and H getting back at 9:30 at night. I'm behind on HOA work, house work, finances, etc. I took Boo out on her bike for an hour and engaged a lot with her during a leisurely dinner, so at least feeling a little less like a loser-mom. I feel like I need someone to come take care of ME right now. I have my client's kid and my nephew tomorrow, so I work pretty much 9:00 am to 9:00 pm with different...Read More...

STRM, I think you are correct. I kept saying, "I feel guitly for not loving her" and T2 kept challenging me on that (in a gentle way) by asking me if perhaps it was more like sadness rather than guilt. So perhaps she was picking up on the sadness of the situation.Read More...

Hi Jbee, I just wanted to say welcome to the forum. I agree with what the others have said, that being honest, even about why you lied in the first place is the best way to handle this. I hope that you are met with an understanding and forgiving response. I am so glad that you are finding an acceptance here which is helpful to you, that's what we're all about. As Jane said, we'd love to know how it goes if you're wanting to speak about it. I'm looking forward to getting to know you. AGRead More...

CNC - Glad he got back to you eventually. I know it would be nice to know exactly what happened, but I don't think you absolutely need to "deal with it," if it feels OK to let go of it. If it comes up again, for sure, let him know. But, sometimes we can process stuff on our own and those feelings can be worked out internally without needing T as a part of the process. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. However, like I said, if it surfaces again...then probably something to discuss...Read More...

BG, I think the part about the child wanting you to play with her and go down the slide is very significant. To me, that speaks of your T getting through to your inner child. I also think it is wonderful that you felt very comfortable in the space with T. You described it as "cozy" which is such a peaceful, safe feeling. That's a great place to be with T! I love dreams. They speak volumes about our lives and the inner workings of our mind.Read More...

Liese, Well, if you can switch insurance and get another 30 visits then I would do that. I can't say for sure about the rider. I guess it depends on how much it costs vs paying out of pocket. There is never a guarantee with insurance, but perhaps with them getting the initial diagnosis of anxiety then they would be willing to pay.Read More...

MTF, I recently started discussing my attachment issues with both of my Ts and I was so nervous and embarrassed at first, but I have to say that once I started to get the words out, it felt so much better to talk about it instead of keeping it inside. My only advice to you is to push yourself to work through the fear and embarrassment and take a leap and talk about it. I think you will be surprised at how good it feels to get it out and the relationship will grow stronger.Read More...

(((SB)))) Wow, what a heavy load you are dealing with. I'm so sorry. It sounds like ultimately it will be for the best, but it the short term it may be a bumpy road. Hang in there and keep your eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel.Read More...