Oh my goodness. Your ex-counselor did not handle that well at all! I'm so glad your new T made you feel more comfortable with using the trash can, should you ever need it. I have this visual of you sitting on the bus holding that trash can. Wow! I can only imagine how that must have felt. So sorry you experienced that.Read More...

My T2 reminds me of a leprechaun. I know that's not technically an animal in the sense that this thread intended, but that's the most fitting description I can come up with. She's tiny, but full of fiesty energy. What she lacks in size, she makes up for in personality and charisma. She is sassy and quick-witted. Very opinionated and does not hesitate to call me out and challenge me. T1 reminds me of a cat. Or an old dog. Or a sleepy dolphin.Read More...

(((Frosty))) I agree that it sounds like a cold. I'm sorry. I know this must be really scary for you. I hope you're feeling better. I get panic attacks where it feels like I can't breathe and it is the scariest feeling ever.Read More...

Yaku, It sounds like you are very emotionally entangled in your T today. I hope your appointment goes well with him tonight. Hopefully he is not tired and worn out, but more importantly, please know that it is not your job to worry about T working so late. These are choices that he is making.Read More...

Jane, hope its ok if I bump this thread. My Easter was kind of weird for me too. I woke up Sunday, and unexpectedly, what I remembered was an Easter morning 23 years ago. My father was beating my sister, who was 2 years old, still in diapers. I don't remember what she did to trigger his rage, but he was whipping her, and then screaming at her to shut up and stop crying (how could she? she was shuddering just trying to get a breath between sobs). Then he started shaking her violently because...Read More...

She bills my trust fund and they pay all of my bills promptly. It sort of rubs me the wrong way that she is asking for my SS#. She is making $600 a week from me and is paid on time. She doesn't have to hassle with insurance or worry about a limited number of appointments. I'm not sure why on earth she could possibly need my SS#. And I was clearly hesitant in giving her my SS#. I asked her, "Why do you need it?" and then after she responded I said, "Um......." hoping she would jump in and say...Read More...

Had heard it was great, but had no desire to see it until now. Thanks for the recommendation BG!Read More...

Thanks, LG. I'd love to see what you come up with. I need to pick a representation for T. It is still being written in my head faster than I can write it down myself. So far, I have: Mom = Sorceress who turns into a witch Dad = (False) prophet Grandma (mom figure) = Oracle People who did bad stuff = Dark creatures (not too much differentiating as I don't have it in me to dwell on each of these people individually) High school teacher whose care kept me from killing myself (also a...Read More...

I do remember this thread. The feeling of being a porcupine resonates with me....I am pretty sure the T I met Friday hates me already. It is exhausting to think about the effort it will take for a new T to know me. Seems impossible. Thank you for your kindness, TN. I am sorry I can't write more. Having trouble forming a thought. seaRead More...

ELMO!!!Read More...

DF - Late here, but just wanted to say that I have definitely felt what you are describing. Every time I think I have conquered it, it comes back later or in a slightly different form. Sometimes, I experience it as being almost mechanical, sub-human in a way. I sometimes feel like I am just some input-output machine and depending on what other people invest in me, it goes through a series of calculations and puts out a result, but there is no real connection between me and those who are...Read More...

If you get motion sick easily, sit toward the back!! I was too close to the middle near the front. Whoa dizzy!! I also want to go see African Lions by Disney. It's in just a few theaters here, but I could go see it while the kids are in school.Read More...

Awww, May, that's awesome! So proud of you for going through with it, and so pleased with your T's reaction!Read More...

((((Jane)))) What you are saying about remembering and not remembering and maybe never fixing the body memory stuff really resonates with my fears. Safe hugs to you.Read More...

This is really difficult. I haven't had to live with siblings in so long and the last time I did, my older sisters were already out of the house for quite a while and my younger siblings are much younger 10, 11 and 16 years younger, so I was more like their mother. The best way I've found to deal with family conflict in general is to choose not to participate when things start to get to an unhealthy place. I'll use an example with my mother, because she is actually the least mature one in...Read More...

Hey Jones, It's amazing how many different interpretations can be made about one sentence/scenario isn't it! I guess that's one of the wonderful things about this community - the sharing of perspectives!! I hope you're doing okay Jonesy! Have to go now - Morgs is being 'social' today (almost unheard of outside the office) and having her one friend in this town for Good Friday lunch!! Woo hoo!!! xx MRead More...

((((df))) i don't have any real words of advice. i have struggled with this at times. one thing that helps me shift my thinking, or at least my actions, is remembering this: others need me to say no. (and they do) they need to you to take care of you, they will be ok if you say no (even though they may say otherwise) and for you to not enable stuff. they need you to say no, have boundaries... that kind of stuff. (not all the time - but when you are trying to make such a shift, saying no at...Read More...

Yeah, I agree with you Kashley- it's because what we talk about is so deep, and because so many people are in distress, and because we understand the distress and need of support since we are in the same place ourselves. That being said- I think Frosty has the right approach- we should all very naturally do what we feel like doing and are able to do and not feel guilty about that. One of the benefits of having so many posters here, is that at some point everyone eventually (hopefully) gets...Read More...

DF - Thanks for understanding. I'm less concerned with him shifting boundaries than finding a way to feel connected (whatever the configuration is) and then disconnect safely. He did, at least, affirm that he saw my asking for that as a VERY positive thing, of me trying to be responsible for taking care of myself...and then proceeded to try to take care of the situation in a way that excluded me. I think he must have had an off-day, attunement wise. I also wonder if he's got some...Read More...

Hello Chance Not sure what you mean by maladaptive daydreaming, but if you think talking to someone would help, mention it to your family. There are other things as well like True North says, and you can always do those in conjunction with therapy. Therapy can be hard work but it can be useful to have someone from outside your immediate circle to talk with. Keep checking in on here and let us know, I have not always posted but there is always something in posts here, someone who will replyRead More...

Yay ((((Beebs)))) way to go lady!!! Great reaction - proud of you girl!! xo MRead More...

I think I can answer this one 1. Wearing one of my "special" necklaces - the ones that have sweet meaning behind them (gifts, or memories of when I purchased them.) I fiddle with it all day long and each time I touch my necklace, I feel the memory of it fill me. 2. My student's smiles - no matter how crabby I am, they compliment me on the simplest things and smile, and I melt. 3. The ultra-soft cuddle-fleece blanket I made myself a few weeks ago - I've been snuggling with it every night for...Read More...

Thanks, LG. I know it wasn't on purpose. My brain just does funny things. T is a chronic late-runner. He had car trouble and was late for H's 4 pm appointment, hence late all day, and then ran over with the people before me. We didn't start until 8:25 (instead of 8:00). He apologized profusely, but I told him I understand (and totally accept it), because he also runs over with me almost universally. For instance, I didn't get out of there last night until 10:00 pm. So, am I going to complain...Read More...

BB, Where you do think your self-judgement comes from? I mean usually, it is one of our parents that instilled that in us. Do you ever find yourself saying judgemental things to yourself that your mother or father said to you growing up?Read More...

I am sorry you experienced this. I know how awful it can feel to be so easily set off by a stranger and for them to not have empathy for you. I've had moments like this where later I felt so embarrassed for losing my cool and felt badly for taking it out on a stranger, even if it seemed that they were asking for it at the time. I hope you were able to find a moment of peace later after you left.Read More...