Hi Irish Rose, Gosh, how those words ring true. If you read some of the posts here you will find another person who gave a detailed account of how to tell how many drinks the person had had based on the sound of their voice and choice of words. My Mom is EXACTLY the same. She very rarely doesn't drink, but even from the first glass of Chardonnay she begins to change. Three or more and she's "tipsy". Now I understand the word better because they really do wave about like they are going to tip...Read More...

LOL, thanks for the laugh. I really needed it. Since my trauma stuff has come up, I'm wishing I could connect with women more easily. If I'm honest with myself, I don't even want to be near any man that I see as even remotely capable of being attracted to me or think about being intimate with H, other than out of loving him. I guess it can't always be this way...Read More...

LG I think it would be really difficult to be so close to her knowing she offered to see you and have PIZZA together and then NOT go! I don't know if I'd be able to say no to that. I like the idea of a double session or a 2 day session as it may take a little bit to get used to seeing her right there in front of you. But it's a great opportunity to connect. Good luck with this. TNRead More...

FF, I think if she offered that you can take her offer at face value and accept it if that works best for you. Hopefully she meant it and won't be resentful later. I doubt that she would be. I understand why it is hard to accept though. Good luck and keep us posted!Read More...

Liese I'm so pleased you've sorted some of the problem and thank you for your words of encouragement and to any of you who reached out also. I'm totally gobsmacked by what some of you have posted - in a good way - true courage, candour and care!! Much of it was like looking in a mirror Need to read and think a bit before even attempting to post. This is a great community and I really hope I can become part of it again. MorgsRead More...

MTF It was good to hear about your session and that your T seems like she is really trying to help you and connect with you. I can see that she is responding to your tentative opening up and reaching out towards her. And I don't mean tentative in a bad way at all... we are all like that in taking the small steps in trusting our T in order to allow more vulnerability. You just went through a serious rupture and it would be healthy to be cautiously optimistic. While I still think she talks...Read More...

What a tricky day for you! I'm happy your laptop is fixed again. And I have had days like that, yaku... they are no fun at all! Take good care.Read More...

Butterfly, I read your thread, and I'm sorry your T said that to you, it made me feel a little bit achy because hearing that would leave me feeling confused, too. I think that you can be more independent and stronger/healthier...AND deserve and be worthy of love and nurturing and support! I don't have any wise words, but I'm thinking of you and hoping your T has some words which can help soothe you when you meet with your T again.Read More...

LG, I was really moved by reading this and I am pleased that you were finally able to grieve your own loss and that it was a healing expereince for you. I am however really sorry you had to experience both losses in the first place . Thank you for sharing this, this really gives me hope. (((LG))) ButterflyRead More...

DF, This sounds like typical crazy making behavior that is so common in abusive situations. It is enough to drive anyone mad and is so confusing. First off, it may be that your mother is being genuine in her emails and isn't trying to manipulate or bait you at all. Given the heavy use of substances, I'd venture to guess that it is possible that they don't even remember a good deal of the horrible things that they did or said to you. So, like you did to survive, they have also...Read More...

its nice to see you starfish and LL - sorry, meant to say hi earlier, lovely to see you again! MH, i am glad everyone is being so supportive of you, those are the voices to listen to puppetRead More...

Thanks AG for thinking of us I love it too, starfishRead More...

***Triggers - forgot to add that I don't have access yet, either, but did send a message*** Hi Springreen, I didn't SI for a long time until I started therapy (and it was a while into it before I started). What triggered it is that I remembered a time when I was really young that I hurt myself, and I've had a tough time since remembering that. I'm not all that verbal about it, even though I have mentioned it on here before, but I also have an ED and struggle with alcohol. But these behaviors...Read More...

((((Yaku)))) Thank you so much for sharing. Maybe it feels a bit scary to post, that but I'm super glad you did. I feel a bit honored that you would share that with us. Btw, you are a beautiful writer! I am moved by what you wrote. It's very profound... As far as the content of that entry, first let me say, you don't sound crazy or anything like that at all. (just incase the reassurance helps) It is well written, like the other entries. It does have a different feel to it than the other two...Read More...

1. My superhero power would be to fly. I used to have the most amazing dreams when I was kid about being able to fly and can still feel the poignant sadness each time I would wake and realize I couldn't really fly. It was such an incredible feeling. 2. If I could spend a day with my T, I would want to go out on his sailboat for the day. I LOVE to sail. Being on a sailboat is a place where I feel very grounded and very clearly myself and often experience a deep sense of joy. To be able to...Read More...

Yeah, I PMed as soon as it came up last night. I was up with insomnia. I'm just being silly...I'm not really that impatient (yet), but thanks, AG!Read More...

Great to see you posting, LL. Your T sounds lovely. My T's office isn't all that big - there's a couch and her chair and another off to the side (but that also seems to mainly be for "empty chair" exercises and such). I've sat on the floor a few times, and T has sat on the floor with me every time. The only time I sit on the floor, though, is if I feel like I need to curl up because of some intense emotion and I've asked T if she would put her arm around me. The reason that doesn't happen...Read More...

LG, So sorry to hear about your friend. (((hugs)))Read More...

Yaku, How beautiful!Read More...

DF: Oooh, we have tons of Tinker Toys at my house! I've got boys. I hope you have fun with them and you managed to get some sleep. PF: I've heard of Kinder chocolate and I hear it is really good. Wow, no candy?! I wish I didn't like it. Oh stuffed animals in the bed...yes, I have a stuffed kitty.Read More...

Thanks AG!Read More...

Hello Smiley I’ve been off forum for quite a while now and I see you haven’t posted for ages. I hope you are still hanging in there, and maybe if you are still reading drop in here and say hi, let us know how you’re doing? Hugs to you (((( Smiley )))) LLRead More...

A mean part of me wants to unfriend him, but that is so lame. So, I will just keep my mouth shut. I will never tell him I feel abandoned. His Dad walked away from their family and remarried and prioritized his new family. He completely screwed over my grandmother (the one I was so attached to) and 90% of the family won't even speak with my grandfather...including my dad. Is it stupid that, despite feeling injured, I care about how much it would hurt my father to feel like he had done the...Read More...

Hi Liese! I have trouble forming relationships with people too… that’s pretty much my main problem. To answer your question about how you talk about that, I’ll give you some examples from my therapy, I don’t know if it would be the same for you, but maybe it would give you somewhere to start or something concrete. We talk (or actually my T talks) a lot about my ‘style relate’- meaning the way I relate to everyone, including him. For example two sessions ago my T was explaining something and...Read More...

apparently my grandfather, whom I never knew- was well-acquainted with Walt Disney and even received some valuable gift from him of a couple of the first frames of "Snow White!" I wish I had them now, to pay for all my therapy expenses...ahhh...unlimited sessions! Say hello to Walt for us, BG!Read More...