Interesting post Draggers. If I could ask T one question and she would have to answer honestly. Its a tie - I have two questions. First, How sick am I relative to the other clients she has. At times I percieve that I worry her greatly and that I'm very "sick" in her eyes. At other times I think I'm just the same as other clients. Second - Am I special to her? Which is a stupid childish question but I want to imagine that she looks at her calendar the day that I'm coming and says oh good. I...Read More...

RT Thanks for sharing this... I had a moment like this with one of the clients where I volunteer... , those moments when we truly meet another person on an emotional level are just amazing and this ad sums those up perfectly..my moment was a real gift from the client.. pinglesRead More...

starfishy - thanks for hugs - always needed Armored Heart - thanks for thinking about me. yes, i keep going - one day at a time. Liese - what you quoted of mine - yes, yes, yes! thanks for checking in. -RTRead More...

D.E.B.S But I'm a Cheerleader Monty Python Life of Brian Heathers Dr. Strangelove Wet, Hot American Summer DogmaRead More...

Struggling again. My T is helping me deal with the less contact, and having me work on needing to connect with her less (my goal - not hers necessarily). I feel rejected and left getting help from her with this... That's not her intent nor communication at all. She casually cancelled a session with me last month on the 18th, I thought it was hard scheduled (she must not have because of her casualness about it). I came in the week before and she said "by the way the 18th is taken now"... I...Read More...

(((AV))) good to see you around. Interesting topic, too. (((Draggers))) I hate what happened to you. (((Smilingpenguin))) I tend to agree with you. (((Liese))) Hugs, just cuz. I think that the law will provide an opportunity to prosecute when emotional neglect comes up with something else. It will also likely be the hardest to prosecute. It is hard to even substantiate a case of "regular" neglect unless it is very severe and ends up with "physical" evidence - as in medical neglect. I worked...Read More...

Thanks, eme. It helps to be reminded sometimes that my T really does care. Especially on days like today when I don't want to trust him. Other good things he's said: "You have an absolute right to your own body" and "There is a big difference between being wanted and being taken."Read More...

It's been a hard month, but I think the hiatus from my blog is over for now. Hope you'll come back to check it out. Today's post: Slingshot Progress in TherapyRead More...

Liese... Almost the opposite of anything I've been trying to generate is happening. I think I may hang it backwards.,, lol I'm not asking for much!!! I still haven't told my T I have one. She gave me a laminated one she made (more inspirational stuff) when she moved offices. I like that one too.Read More...

Looks like a very useful book. Might get myself a used copy. Liese, I am really sorry you're struggling. What you're experiencing sounds very painful.Read More...

Happy Birthday dear RTRead More...

Many thoughts to you (((RT))) starfishyRead More...

A daft doggie does it for me every time fishyRead More...

Hi Dragger, My T often sets me homework. As Rebuilding Me said sometimes I do it and sometimes I don't. T is ok either way. If I find it too difficult she say leave it and we look at it together. Just come from T half an hour ago a today (and the last few weeks) she asked me to do a situation analysis next time I get anxious. ie. note what happened, how I felt, what thoughts I had and what I did. If I manage to do it, we look at it together and she helps me find alternative, not so negative...Read More...

Thank you Pingles and CD for your encouragement. T. is encouraging me to follow my dreams. I keep saying I am going to look into it. I guess I owe it to me to at least explore it.Read More...

((Jill)) that is interesting how us and then our siblings turned out. It's a different kind of damage I think… I use my ED not to escape (though, I know that's what it is also) but to disappear. I'm not sure if it works like that for other substances, I'm sure it does. It's really hard when our self harm is visible… thankfully I doubt very much anyone on the outside can tell I have an ED… my Ts have seen my weight but to average joe on the street… it's not there. That's good at least, but...Read More...

Wish I had seen this a couple weeks ago. Mine would have said, Hi, T, You don't have to read this if you don't want to. You can save it for my session time if you do decide to read it; otherwise, you can bill my for your reading time. That's how pretty much everything I send her begins! (She never does bill me, but I get very anxious about taking up her time! It was fun to read these! BLT, no post about what yours would say?Read More...

Whilst you might feel feral at times you are definitely good at interacting. You are the way you are for a reason - even if you don't understand why/what happened. Attachment problems are really painful - I'm working on mine too. It messes up everything doesn't it? SBRead More...

Cat... I know it might not feel this way... but maybe it is safe now to begin to let those littles speak. You/they have be silenced enough. Does your T 'get' dissociation? Maybe you could find a little space each day and let out some drawing, writing etc. Put it in a box and take it to your T? Sorry if any of that isn't useful. I've kind of been where you are at. And whilst I'm not exactly ok now, I have found that it isn't as pressured if you dont crush those voices/parts down so hard. I've...Read More...

I didn't know caterpillars did that - (sadly, my eating disordered brain latched onto 'digest' for a few short moments before I was able to process what you wrote ) Now I have some fun/gross trivia for the boys I think they'll enjoy! That's a great connection you made TAS. I really admire your ability to do that. I think you're transforming into a lovely butterfly in your therapeutic cocoon.Read More...

((Cat)) just want to say I'm so sorry that things are really tough right now. You are going through some major transitions in your life, so be kind to yourself (easier said than done!). You are so strong..you will get through this time.Read More...

I'm a little slow sometimes. It only took me 2 years to realize you are draggers. I always wondered why people sometimes nicknamed you things to do with dragonflys and such. I never could make the connection!Read More...

Thank you all so so much for your thoughts, advice, and reassurance. I'm incredibly happy to have found a place that can relate in some form, especially to something as "random" as things feels for me. I haven't spoken about it with her yet (just a matter of finding the right time), but will within our next session. You've all given me a great deal to think about - specifically in regards to how I'd feel about seeing her in a different context, her grading my work, etc. I think we'd...Read More...

Hi, AG! :-) Thank you, Chickadee for the pointer to Pandora's Aquarium. I seem to remember looking at it at some point and feeling intimidated at the time. However, looking through what I can see, I think that it could be helpful.Read More...

(((DRAGGERS))) Sorry for the hijack. I used to feel ashamed about needing therapy but don't anymore. The more I seek healing from different sources, the more I find lots of really interesting and smart people whom I admire. I am more comfortable around those types of people now that the more narrowed minded types who don't believe in therapy. So much of it is about the brain and if they don't believe in therapy, they don't know anything or care anything about the brain and I don't want to...Read More...