Permafrost ~ That is a really tough spot. I think it is one of the hardest things for me to not distrust. It’s also a pretty essential thing. It’s taken me time to not distrust my T and to risk that she could be a safety net. Honestly, it's still a matter of that she "could be" a safety net, but I believe that is possible enough to take the risk. And it's taken a lot of time to get there. We’ve talked through about what to do in a crisis beforehand. She’s explained and reassured me a number...Read More...

There are many different kinds of meditation and i find mindfulness particularly useful. I have been meditating for years and there are two aspects to it. The first is to calm our minds a bit, we have so many thoughts and ideas and so much activity in our heads that having something simple like a pebble or your breath to focus on is a starting point. It is fascinating to see how swept away we get in emotion and memory and it is a long hard struggle to begin to change that pattern. The...Read More...

Jill, I need skills too. Sometimes I think like my T purposely makes it so hard for me to talk about my feelings that I get mad. But talking about my needs and feelings is really hard for me to begin with. He has told me that he hopes that what happens in therapy will transfer to the real world. So, I have come to believe that he makes it hard for me because to make it easy wouldn't help me. And, if I can learn to open up to him and trust him, I can do the same thing IRL. It's a very...Read More...

i just feel like im at the end of my rope and i want an answer from, are u in or out. is that unfairRead More...

Just popped in and actually had another thought...in your dream your left arm is broken. Left arm/hand is connected to the right brain...in fact, some therapist I've heard, will reccomend that righty's try writing and drawing with their left hand in order to reconnect with their right brain...hm. Just a thought. Not trying to say anything like that you have a "broken" right brain, but more, maybe it's an area in your life that needs development or healing with your T's help, and...Read More...

It's lovely, Monte. Thank you for sharing.Read More...

Thanks, Starfish. I've gotten so few memories back, and the experience seems to change each time. The first memories came back more than a year ago - one I had always remembered but just forgot, and the other was one that I had never recalled until then. They came one right after another, although they were separated by about 10 years and didn't seem to really relate to each other. I didn't have any emotions with them right off the bat, but the more I thought about each memory, the more I...Read More...

Just wanted to say thanks to both jill and Jones. Your posts are such good food for thought. My thought patterns are like yours, jill. Your post, Jones, was very insightful and helpful. Thanks to you both. Holding OnRead More...

Hi Janedoe, Not sure if I've felt like that after a session but definitely have felt that way after a really stressful, emotional experience. Glad to hear that you've done some hard work.Read More...

awwww thanks TN.Read More...

AG, thank you for sharing your stories with me. It was very helpful. One of the many things that I find difficult about therapy is accepting that it's okay to talk about the many things that it wasn't okay to talk about in my FOO. Sometimes I just get stuck in that panic mode and I don't think straight. I have to learn to calm myself down and stand back. It is really comforting to know that you went through some of the same things that I'm going through now. UV, thank you so much for your...Read More...

hi liese, i mean no worries to daggers because daggers felt bad for confusing me.Read More...

I know, exactly what I am going to talk to my T about on Tuesday. I would like to hear your favorite passages. I think the only reason why I'm not having a mental breakdown while reading this book is I'm trying to stay in a very analytical and logical state, at least till Tuesday because I need to be able to communicate to him clearly and logically for at least the first part of the session to clear up any miscommunications. My HOPE is that we can talk clearly left brain to left brain on...Read More...

This is an interesting thread and I'm glad I found it. For a while, I assumed the way my T was (when I cried) was 'normal' and as time passed and I saw other T's, I realized it wasn't ... however it was very much what I needed at that time - and still often need/want. One of my T's, the current one, will just sit with me while I cry. She won't say anything until I'm done talking ... she'll pass me a tissue if I'm not close to one, etc. However my last T, the one I was talking about above -...Read More...

Frog, I a glad that your session with T went so well. I thought it was so interesting what wrote about not wanting to come out of the transference. Can you say more about that, what you mean, etc.?Read More...

Hi Rock Ah yes, my zigzagging logic often needs extra explanation. I am actually saying none of the above. What i am saying is that if your struggle with your T matches the troubles you are having in other areas of your life and IF you can find a way to get past the surface discomfort / conflicts with her and work on the underlying pattern of struggling to trust, it could be very beneficial for you. You are already struggling to trust her and feeling manipulated so it is all there, in the...Read More...

Thank you , Jones, Draggers, Morgs, starfish, Blanket Girl, AG, and Da Rock. I appreciate such a warm reception. Yes, Da Rock, I finally got the message my back was trying to clue me in on! Although I'm sure I could go the SSI route I just can't see myself going that road.. Events that have led me here have taken their toll on me and I feel compelled to tell my story. I'm thinking maybe go backwards and out of synch... As a kid I didn't have a father around to provide any type of guidance...Read More...

hi kashley and deepfried - thank you very much for reading and for your responses. they helped. i'll respond to them soon. my head is spinning. i called my aunt w my regular T yesterday. i got her voicemail. i asked my aunt to please not email me again, i don't do email with family. I had said that on email too - and she responded "why? it's not like there are gvernment secrets." i did not explain why. (they are mean on email and not in public or even on the phone.) i asked if i could be...Read More...

I also wanted to say congratulations. Keeping some emotional distance from a toxic parent is a process. Be proud you managed today but it probably won't be the last time she challenges you if she is anything like my mother. HugsRead More...

I do not have a P, but I do have two Ts and they communicate occasionally with one another. I also have a medical doctor that they both speak with.Read More...

AG, Sorry for the late check-in. My best to you. I hope you continue to move to getting healthy again. RussRead More...

Interesting theory, Draggers! I think you might be on to something. Our environment truly is a reflection of ourselves.Read More...

Liese, kashley, STRM ~ thank you so much. it helped me to just get this out. it's been a rouh night and i' m sad about my family. your support and kindness helps a lot. thank you.Read More...

DF Ooops, I am so sorry i didn't respond to you on this thread earlier. I replied to LG and then posted a reply which i realised was for the wrong thread and after i moved it i forgot to come back. I really am sorry, it was incredibly rude especially as you were having such a hard time. PanRead More...

Hi Quilter, no I haven't tried a drink before a session. Well my session is at twelve noon, so .... others on the forum have talked about having a few drinks and then going to a session. In my younger days I could have done it!!!! Tell me if you try it. Are you having trouble opening up too????? Tell me about your quilts! STRM, Thanks for encouraging me!! I really appreciate it. I also thought maybe I could bring sunglasses for both t and I. Maybe that would make us laugh. Maybe he and I...Read More...