Beebs Really glad to read that you'd had a chat with your brother. I hope that has cheered you a little and warmed those little feathers, starfishyRead More...

Frog ... your posts are very coherent ... unbelievably so ... you express yourself very well. Did you learn Engligh in school? I'm so glad it's not odd that I've been in phase 1 for so long ... I always think my progress is soooo slow ... ....Read More...

Hm, DF. I am really really sorry to hear that your parents are like that. Good on you for surviving, and with such a beautiful intelligence and spirit. I wonder if you can say something like what you say above. I'm imagining a conversation where you let her know that you understand this is paranoia, and there are problems with paranoia, but that you also understand this particular paranoia is a direct product of the way you were brought up. It's not random, it's about them and their reach...Read More...

Pippi That's just awesome that you were brave enough to approach this do directly and even better that you got that response, I truly think that's how it should be when you open up. Take the success you experienced in his response with you to fight the fear of opening up with your therapist. I think you'll be happily surprised. Let us know how it goes. AG PS BB, LOVE the new signature!Read More...

Woo, Maclove, so many nice Thanksgiving treats in there! I had a good Thanksgiving (despite being nowhere near the US). I went to the same function, second year in a row. I remember last year I was so anxious and exhausted that when I got there I had to go sit in the bathroom in the dark for about 15 minutes. I remember how uncomfortable I felt with everyone there, none of whom I really knew. This year I was stressed, but not freaked out. And when I got there, I realised those same people...Read More...

Frog - thank you so much for your continued encouragement. Yeah, I hope so much my T and I are just re-adjusting and I didn't scare her or anything... I just talked with my other T now. She called me just after I got a super triggering email from someone (not a T). It was good to talk with her... I am not numb anymore but struggling with grief and shame and another feeling, and I dunno what it is, but it is painful - so exquistely painful... and my T told me it was ok that I was super numbed...Read More...

YAY for your T and YAY for you!!! good job hanging in! and yay for an awesome TRead More...

thank you Jane...if you decide and want to share, we'd love to hear about it.. I'm still struggling with the concept of taking it in and feeling good about it. I can't "make myself" feel proud of myself. MAybe good feelings will come in time.Read More...

yay indeed! Glad he's there for you MacLoveRead More...

I have a handful of travel triggers... oh... I don't think I can even say them right now... but good thread! good idea! I will come back later and post more.Read More...

lol, this is so emberrassing and fun at the same time,(i am not as mature as you guys remember!) sorry if am unsympathetic here BG, just have to qote AG here, as i laughed out loud (i am on a cafe with lots of people around me- yeah, still distracting myself) here, when reading this one: My husband once brought up sex in a couples session and I honestly believe I broke the world's record for longest sustained blush. (It was also when I decided that I would really rather have the Universe...Read More...

Hi Deepfried, I am sorry you are struggling so much at the moment and that you aren't getting much sleep. I am not sure how to interpret your dream...it sounds like an invasion of your personal space which can be very scary...you say you have never asked for help before...maybe this represents the fact that you would like to ask for help but you fear that noone would listen. idk I could be way off base. I really hope that you are able to sit with your T and just be comforted and get a much...Read More...

dang, numbness wore off in the middle of the night and I woke up in a panic. It's the dang numb/flood cycle. When I numb out then I eventually am flooded... So I broke down and took some anti-axiety medications to get some sleep and keep getting my sleep cycle back on track to the time zone here. But for a moment, I do feel - a lot. such axiety and fear and saddness... I don't know about what. off to get some sleep hopefully. and curl up with my sweet kitty who has been attached to me,...Read More...

can I ignore the rules too? please forgive the lateness of my post - but really want to say that BB - you are amazing. Love your authenticy and kindness. MacLove - I love your posts. You have a lot of great insights and input - and you are so real and encouraging. I'm sorry you have felt rejected so much. I for one, just want to say, you really do rock and I'm glad you are here and keep posting and keep sharing and keep working things out as you need. just wanted to say that. please forgive...Read More...

Hey Starfish - thanks for making me feel welcome I have already learnt much and taken comfort from the posts on many topics that I can relate to...it is very comforting. Hey LL - nice to meet you, it is inspiring reading everyones stories, I hope that I am brave enough to keep sharingRead More...

Thanks for your reply Blanket Girl. If you mean there's more to this story as far as why my brother and sister-in-law want me more involved in my nephew's life, then I think you're right. I just don't remember much more. I may not have done wrong according to you, but those two probably see it as wrong for me not to be more involved. They said that something different happens in his life every week. I suppose they're implying that I should contact them every week to see how he's doing. Well...Read More...

Hi, Freud- glad to see your post...I'm sorry to hear you had painful rupture with your T...based on what you say, yeah, I think talking about it with your T is the best way. But, having never really found the courage to do that myself at least not in person, I know how extremely scary that can be! anyways, welcome here! Post more if you feel comfortable- these are great people! BlackbirdRead More...

Hey Dog ... Let us know how the date goes!Read More...

Liese- yes, that makes sense..i would love to read that particular thread- It was AG`s but do you remember the name of it? "because it facilitates the therapeutic process"- this sounds like music in my ears, i`d love to hear more about the postive effects of all this obsessive thoughts of T. Thanks again for sharing with me Liese, you have a nice "edge" at it, that i appreaciate! Yes,, indeed my T is good..you`no -sometimes i wish he was rather less good, because that would stop some of this...Read More...

DF, i hope things are going better for you. i empathize with your angst. i wish i had answers, i am searching myself, and like you, felt so teary with ag's insight. ag, what you wrote was so helpful to me, too. (((DF)))) jillRead More...

Hi Jill, Sorry it’s taken so long to respond, but this really resonated with me. It can be difficult sorting out what’s coming from where, can’t it? My oldest daughter left for college last year (she’s in her sophomore year now) and had a very difficult time with homesickness and was dealing with a few other major issues as well. It was a very difficult passage for her, and we leaned very heavily on our T for parenting advice (we actually joked around that we had stopped going to couples...Read More...

Hi, I'm OK...nice to hear you are making progress, and nice to see you!Read More...

Thanks for the update, MTF...I've been wondering how you have beend doing. Trusting your T and doing what she says is a pretty good way to move forward in the healing- good for you. Keep up the good work! Love, BBRead More...

Rio, That is great!! My T and I spend time in the floor as well and I often feel safer there. I'm glad that you went with what felt right and your T asked to sit with you.Read More...

Dear Diary, I hate this fucking family. My birthday is tomorrow and because I had told Mom not to call me so I could enjoy one birthday without mama-drama, I come home from work and find two presents on my doorstep. Yes, that would be nice if I didn't know what was to come. One was a card from my aunt with a check inside (also nice). The other was a gift from mom with a card and money and a note: "11-16-10 - 8:19 P.M. On this date, you asked me not to call you on your birthday so I will...Read More...