This is a good one, Jones. I need to do better at this. (She says while she hangs out in the forum, completely distracted from the dirty dishes to her right...) haha, this made me smile BG, this is sooo familiar! Morgs: Sorry for not welcomed you yet- its good to have you here! I hope you didnt felt ignored when posting on my thread (?) - i look forwared to get to know you better tooRead More...

To Frog, Starfish, Preppie Girl, Blackbird and dragonfly. Sorry about the late reply but i have been really busy trying to catch up and study for my exams. I am really glad i have found a place where i can talk about my life and feelings without being judged. Also to have wonderfully people like you guys to help me through everything! The answer to your question BB, no im not getting bullied at school, thank god! :P I actually really enjoy school when im not SICK! But i do get hassled about...Read More...

If it will be too painful to read of a good T, don't continue with this... So, I had a littel wee emailing session with my T, over the past couple of days. I ended up actually asking for a session. I still feel "weak" for not taking a break, and kind of embarrassed. I was asking my T, how can I make a decision, and how it seems so much like a matter of right and wrong to me. I feel absolutely paralyzed by indecision when I *have* to be the one to make the decision. I wonder what that is all...Read More...

i hear you jill. i am sorry.. whats happened? you are not *really* back there, but sure it can feels like that...hang in there, it will be ok. keep venting if it helps- sending lots of "containing" your way.Read More...

Hooray Froggy - glad you were able to make such good headway on exploring these issues with your T. JRead More...

Pippi, I'm sorry to hear about your little boy. I hope that he heals quickly. (((hugs))) I understand where you are coming from in wanting your P there with you for comfort. It makes perfect sense to me.Read More...

hello all! i have been on a self imposed psychcafe-fast...too many hours here. so, i am just now reading and want to reply to everyone. but, first to jones, thank you for your thoughtful reply. i know you are wanting to pull it, so i want to thank you for your insight. i do admire your honesty with your mom, and effect it had on her. yes, i feel guilty, too, but then, i have shouldered this illusion for her denial of guilt for so many years, that, somehow, staying on 'truth' feels ok. not...Read More...

Self-Esteem. Do people really have that? Seriously, I think that we all go through moments when we feel better about ourselves, and the world in general, and times when it's dark. I'm so glad you took the time to write here and share with us. I hope you are feeling better today. Something I did - that I've NEVER done - and it was AMAZING ... I volunteered at the Salvation Army and served the homeless for Thanksgiving. I've never been a "get out in public and mingle" sort of person - not a...Read More...

(((((BB)))))) and ((((((Kashly))))) Thank you so, so much.Read More...

yippee!Read More...

I agree...it sounds like all you need to do is call and clarify, that you are not ready to terminate at this time, and in fact, wnat to schedule an appointment...I'm certain you will be accomodated, if you just explain clearly, that you do not wish to terminate, and want to schedule. Good luck, Caeti..nice to see you posting! Let us know how it goes! BBRead More...

glad to give you a giggle, draggers!Read More...

reeny, what are MAOI'S?Read More...

Welcome reeny! reeny, I think diagnoses can be misleading, as it is not always an indicator of the level of suffering a person is enduring... but I will tell you that I also have the diagnoses of "dysthymic disorder." It seems like a pretty low-grade depression all the time, for *how completely bad* I feel most of the time. So that diagnoses can add to guilt feelings, for me, I "shouldn't" feel *this* bad, since it's *low-grade.* But it's pretty bad, isn't it? I recently dared to look up...Read More...

phew...that's a relief...thank you DF! Yes, yes, yes...it's that separation, isn't it? whew...it's a battle- but one worth fighting, isn't it? You *are* sweet, DF...don't ever forget it! Or if you forget, at least remember a time when you did know it! Thank you from my heart for helping me through this really bad spell. I'm feeling alot better. I hope you took something from it too. Love, BBRead More...

(((((Smiley)))))) I am so sorry for the pain and darkness you are in...I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make it go away! (For me too) Please know that you are lovable and that you really make my day every time I see you post. ( I know that might feel hard to beleive, but it's true!) You have a lot of insight and depth under that quiet exterior of yous...it's not fair that what was done to you is causing all of this darkness and pain, but like AG said...it is not you that is causing...Read More...

Thanks everybody. It really helps hearing from each of you. What is seeming to be the most difficult thing is "the day after" syndrome. When the feelings don't feel as hurt, you start to wonder if you over-reacted. (Which, btw, is a favorite manipulation of hers! - It must work, huh? Come to think of it, wouldn't that be exactly what my Aunt would say to me? She would invalidate my feelings and my experience and tell me to just ignore my mom's bad and hurtful words/behavior. This line of...Read More...

TN, I think it took an amazing amount of courage to send that letter and get it all out there. Of course I hope that he responds and in a way that offers you some sort of closure. I know this has been beyond painful for you and I'm so sorry for that. I agree with the others that I don't think that you misinterpreted the way you related to your T all that time when things went well. I think your relationship was very real and special and it definitely should not have ended the way that it...Read More...

Hi Jill, Jane and BB Don't delete unless you need to - I totally identify but am not in a space to speak at the moment! Labels don't matter - at the heart of everything we're going through is we're trying to be the best we can be! Hang in there everyone!Read More...

Jill - yeah, my T was responding to me not running away or protecting against or being afraid of feeling... whatever it was I that I had beed feeling in that moment... (I'm not even quite sure what I had been feeling). I guess I was really mindful. Yay for so much DBT finally paying off! That makes me smile. Thanks Jill for your encouragement. STRM - thank you so much for your kind words. They are comforting to me. Thank you. --------------------------------------------------------- I am...Read More...

lizzygirl, i had that issue alot with a t of mine. it is aggravating, but i like what you said you did, just asking what is the point. i got so afraid to bring it up, that when i did, i was already so rattled by it that it ended up making a big mess of things. so, i guess what i am saying is, continue to address it when it occurs and don't let the trend get imbedded. hopefully this is not a narcissistic inclination in your t to just 'hear himself talk'...i think mine was somewhat looking for...Read More...

Thanks for your response Blanket Girl. No I'm not in any kind of counseling right now. First of all, I don't think I can afford the professional counseling right now since I lost my hours; not even the co-payment. As for 12-step, my last counselor suggested it to me. I've checked out two kinds, one for emotional problems and another for sex addiction but they're either not in my location or they're held at inconvenient times. Yes I'll still try hanging on.Read More...

thanks df, i don't know how inspirational, but, i think i am not going to go. too many conflicts that weekend, and i guess, i just don't want to be cooped up so long focused on ME. y'no?? maybe if i ignore 'it' it will go away....hmmm. thanks, friend. jillRead More...

All I can see my T in...is a dominatrix outfit! No...she would never wear a costume to work but it is fun to think about. I suppose that says that I feel somewhat powerless in my therapy, eh? hmmmm.... My costume would be something like Pinocchio or the Velveteen Rabbit. I just want to be REAL, which is really paradoxical on Halloween. *chuckling* I feel so twisted at times. Funny thread...brings up lots of interesting images, lots of transference material. Hmmmm...like I need any help with...Read More...

Starfish, Just wanted to thank you for your support. I think I'm going to make another thread that's a little more relevant to my T's time away. Just thought I'd tell you that I so appreciate you sharing your experiences with dissociation. In a lot of cases, I think labeling stuff doesn't help a ton, but I feel like it does with this, for me at least. And it's odd, because every time I notice something new that seems so weird that it must mean I'm either completely crazy or completely fine,...Read More...