Hi all.... I know JM will "feel the warmth" of how much she is missed...and valued. We all need to take a break from time to time. Sometimes too much time on the computer is isolating. It's a double edged sword. I'm sure JM is doing exactly what she needs to do right now. She'll probably return when it's right for her. I miss her too. ((((JM)))) SDRead More...

You are lucky in a way because you are relatively young and starting to do something about your situation. Just keep it up. A lot of us always feel guilty about not doing enough for our loved ones. Also, I spend a lot of my time fritting and fretting over so many things I wonder how I get anything constructive done and it's a bad habit to break; worse as you get older. Good luck in decifering it all.Read More...

Hey SG, I was missing you too around here! Thanks for your supportive words. As for the issue of progress...well it turns out that my T was sort of triggered on that by my stupid insurance company. He has to fill out paperwork every 3 months on my "progress" and what we are doing in therapy. Because I'm currently not on meds the insurance company is pushing them so we have to talk about it and we end up in a huge disruption because I am not interested in meds. I don't really feel that I need...Read More...

I have wondered about the length of time I have spent with my P. I can't imagine not seeing him ever again or at least for a long time. I think I have worked through many issues over the years and have come to terms with some of them. I still find I have things to cover with him. Not because we are stagnant. But sometimes I feel the need to get support for feelings that bubble up to the surface. He helps me deal with the "The here and now issues" I have, as he calls them. I still feel that I...Read More...

awesome! Im enjoying the Olympics a lot so far... watching prime time every night... if I had cable. would watch some of the other sports as wellRead More...

Another oldie but a goodie (and a very funny one too!) Even shrinklady stopped by to comment! Just Me: Oh, that's so true. I LOVE my bed! Just Me: I found this interesting as it gave me a view of the other side of the whole dependency / attachment / boundaries issues we keep raising on these boards. AG - I don't want to get stuck. Again, another good reminder about why we need to push through with therapy instead of getting stuck in the whole dependency / attachment / boundary areas. I'm OKRead More...

Hi Pippi, Hugs! This must be a horrible time for you especially going through this without the meds. I know exactly what you mean about loving your P and being so strongly attached. BUT what he/his receptionist is doing is absolutely and totally unprofessional and NOT YOUR FAULT!! Where I live it is never OK to not give your patient medication that is essential or withhold the medication that has withdrawal effects without giving support or alternatives, at least he should give you an...Read More...

Mrs. P. I'm so really sorry... I've been to similar places in the past... I imagine I would run and hide too. I think you run away from pain, because I can't imagine there is security and safety if you can't bring these feeling to him and talk about them. I think you do need somebody to help you out through this pain. I don't mean that you can't cope, but perhaps there is a way to make the coping easier. I still have a very good memories of my past feelings and I don't know if it's any...Read More...

Amazon, your post reminded me of things my T says to me. She frequently says she will never lie to me. Lately she's been calling bullshit on my defenses I use against her. It's funny the effect it has on me when she swears, because neither one of us do it that often, but when she does then it feels like she really means what she's saying. About being creative, I suspect most famous and successful artistic people - whether it be writers or musicians or dancers or artists or designers - have...Read More...

I'm really sad for both HB and us. I wish we could have had the chance to say bye, but I understand. It doesn't seem that I can PM her, so AG, if you're still in contact with her, please let her know that I miss hearing from her, and that I hope she is well. I'm so sad her privacy was violated, and I wish the person who violated her knew how many lives he/she has affected. I'm angry and sad, but mostly, I just miss HB and her ability to reach out to us for support when she needed it. What a...Read More...

He is not actually my therapist but we do therapy. He does do therapy with some patients but that costs more money. The session we have is set up for med check/psychotherapy for 20-30 minutes. If I open up and am honest and can actually start talking than he will usually go longer. It is hard only seeing him once every four weeks which is why we moved it to every three weeks. I cant afford much more than that. But it is like you talk about where you are constantly thirsty and only get a few...Read More...

I think it just takes time to trust, and takes time to have the long term issues sorted. You are very busy person, but probably you need to do something very important for yourself to find your happiness. Few years ago, when I was 26 I just made my recovery from my give or take 3-years depression. But that still didin't make me quite happy. I knew there is something in me, that perhaps would start crying out again sometime in the future. So I had a plan, once I will have fairly stable...Read More...

Thanks Jones For the welcome! I too hope to learn more about everyone as well and look forward to it. =)Read More...

Welcome back, AG - really good to see you here again. And it's delightful to know that you had such a great vacation and return.Read More...

Wow Halo. Good for you! I hope everything will be getting better form now on. We'll be really happy for you that you are getting out of this pain. Take care and let us now how is it going with the new P.Read More...

I didn't have a clue about different types of therapy. I think my general idea of therapy was close to CBT, sort of working on changing thoughts and behaviour with somebody who explains what and why and you begin to understand. But when I came across two words: "psychodynamic" and "transference" I realized it is more about feelings and it seems to be working. This is what I was looking for and waiting for all my life. I don't know if my therapist goes by the book. He may, since he is not a...Read More...

CT-thanks for the response. After yesterdays appointment I was still having problems dissociating all evening and still didnt get any sleep last night. Probably due to not having my anxiety medication and it usually helps me fall asleep but that is two nights with no sleep. Today I am depressed and some what suicidal. I wont actually go through with it because I talked to my old highschool psychologist through email. He made me feel a little better. With my new T my things went pretty good.Read More...

Yeah, we do have a lot in common with the child thing. We do joke around at the end when I am paying but then as soon as I walk our of his office the connection is gone and I try everything I can to get the connection back which usually makes him frustrated and mad at me. I call and text and email him constantly sometimes a few times a day. He tries to ignore the ones that are not important but I still get enough of a response from him that its worth doing it. There has been times that I...Read More...

SG - amazing that you saw your ex again just after having those feelings of acceptance - well done on walking on when you knew it was what you needed. And well done on going *into* the feeling and exploring through your writing and guitar - that's a beautiful thing to do with the pain, to let it fuel your creative experience. Seems to me that that kind of turns it into a willing exploration of being human, rather than just a necessary tolerance of the misery of life!! I love this... it feels...Read More...

Hey there TN. Thanks so much for updating us! I've been meaning to reply, but I have been pretty busy. I'm free now though! First, I'm really glad that your t suggested you two have a second meeting. Sometimes, it just takes more than an hour, and when THEY notice that, and don't want us to suffer for a week, it feels pretty good (even if we feel shitty and are having a hard time!). I SO understand this! Something about the fresh memory of something t says or does can really help to "melt"...Read More...

Hi K, That's funny about the coincidence. A member of the other board I belong to also asked me whether my name has anything to do with Joe Strummer. It doesn't, I just made it up because I took up guitar a couple of years ago. But I guess I'm also a dork cause I like The Clash, too. My former T was actually very upbeat and had lots of that "giddy" energy you mentioned, especially in the beginning. Sometimes I saw him in the morning, sometimes in the afternoon, so no, I don't think time of...Read More...

Strummergirl- That poster is made of kick-a$$ LOVE ITRead More...

Free-on-Thursdays, I think I need to add something here. I, we (my T and I) do or try to do some work on my feelings (transference) for him. This is what my therapy is about now. It is mainly about how I feel and what I think while with him, without him, about him etc. Since he is "the transference object" now that should allow him to get better understanding of me, my feelings and eventually to proceed to "corrective emotional experience" (??). There are still things that I didn't tell him...Read More...

Hmmmm SG I needed to hear that. I know that all of what you are saying is the same as my Old P is doing to me. But I am still not ready to stop going. He makes it all about him each and every time. At least I am only seeing him monthly now and also I am able to hold the boundaries better so that I don't stroke his ego. You are right we want to feel that we are special. Hopefully soon I will be able to lengthen the time between visits to every three months and just sit at that time distance...Read More...