Hi there I am getting all the help that I need. People have been telling me that just think of this experience as dealt with Fucked up. I am not sure if it's because I idealized him too much, I strongly believe that he could have done more than he did with me. He was definitely sound boarding a lot with me. I think he really enjoyed how I as reacting, what I would say or do...I was very interesting subject for him. Sometimes I wonder what if he was already professional counsellor and I was...Read More...

This is an interesting point to keep in mind. Although the intensity of the change T's bring about, the fact that it's an "inside" job that takes quite a bit longer than the "outside" job of a hairdresser, makes it understandably more complex. And if there's attachment issues then it gets even harder for the patient to keep things in perspective. In fact, I don't think it's possible, at times, for the patient to keep things in perspective at all. Which is why it is so important for T's to...Read More...

Thanks for this. I will reread it whenever I feel the guiltmonster creeping up on me. (I've been feeling guilty about sharing this experience online, too. Like I'm badmouthing someone or sharing gossip...)[/QUOTE] Hey echo How are you doing with your T? I have been reading everything around here and I was just curious, any update??? I love gossipRead More...

Ooooh - what a GOOD question. I will read and think and write some more .... S.Read More...

my answer is NO My counsellor told me that I have natural talent in that field so I was pursing then he realized that I was really serious then he discouraged me saying " you are too emotional" I wanted to say same thing to him but I didn't want to disrespect. How would patient know that if we are dealing with psycho counsellors??? So creepy...Read More...

Hi SpaGirl, I love how you handled this with your mother today. It sounds like you set a boundary, and she noticed. I think it's okay to set boundaries when someone's behavior is poisoning us, even if that person is our mother, father, etc. From your description of how you feel, it sounds very much like how I feel when someone's behavior is toxic to me. Your post has been on my mind all day today, partly because my mom's mom's death on Sunday morning has brought me back in contact with my...Read More...

Thanks for your replies, Mrs. P and HB. I had a good appt with my P. As expected, he was worried that I had SI'd and we explored that. He does care about me and I need to believe that he will be there for me no matter what--I don't have to create an emergency for him to respond to my need to have contact. It's soooo hard sometimes. I have been rejected so much in my life that feeling rejection is so automatic even if it's just in my mind. He is going to see me again this week which is an...Read More...

To add my 2 cents ... To me: T means therapist ... can be a psychologist, counselor, psychiatrist. Someone you talk to for an hour regularly. P means psychiatrist, psychopharmachologist, APRN, someone who prescribes meds. It's possible for a single doctor to do both, in which case, I think it depends on the posterRead More...

I refer you to LAST year's post - November 30, 2008! http://psychcafe.ca/eve/forums...431083026#5431083026 .Read More...

If you get a feedback form, can I fill it out for you? Please, pretty please?Read More...

Hey SpaGirl. Thanks for your support and advice though I must admit it is particularly hard for me at the moment to think about my ex-T doing anything wrong, as I'm missing him so much at the moment I tend to get quite defensive of him anyways and I had kinda accepted his word on this one cos nothing seemed to be working for me. I only seem to be able to go to extremes, I do try to control it but therein lies the problem, it becomes all about control. It is extremely difficult for me to be...Read More...

So, things have moved along and we are each trying to see new people however we still have to share the same house for financial reasons. (Until it sells.) She's told me about her love interest that she hasn't really spoken to. I know that she's been attracted to a man 20 years her elder that she works with. It's a serious concern for me on many levels. She started perusing him before we separated. Finding this out left me devastated. I was still trying to work on our marriage but she had...Read More...

The way I understand "Buddhahood" or "Buddha nature" is our innate Godliness. I grew up in a Christian everything (the people, the state, my Grandmother, etc.) although we never attended church, Christianity are the thoughts I've been taught. Then I learned about Nichiren Buddhism and my own thoughts evolved. Personally, I "believe" in "God". I envision "God" as inherent in everything and everyone. Simply put, like the sun's rays originate from the sun, the heat reaches all the way to Earth...Read More...

Hello. Well, it's been over 2-weeks since learning The News and my hormones and humor have improved immensely! Thank Goodness. Your words and experiences have helped me feel less alone. My clients have also helped to greatly improve my attitude. Just yesterday, a regular came in and announced that she wants a divorce from her husband! I laughed and told her that she wasn't the first, she is actually third in line! She is the third client this year who has either already filed or who is...Read More...

Hi Samy, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, but thanks for letting us know, I have been thinking of all of you. I know how difficult this can be, please take good care of yourselves. You'll all be in my prayers. AGRead More...

Thanks Z for your great reply. I did end up calling my P and when he called me back he (as I should have known) was great, offered me his support. He wasn't upset or threatening termination--not anything close. Your advice was right on target. I will see him in 5 days and talk about my neediness and my fear of abandonment more.Read More...

Hi HB. Thanks so much for your words of support. I just feel like no-one (as in those around me, not people on here as they've been great!) understands how I feel about my T and ending with him. The few close friends I have told have nodded and hoped that I feel better but I know they think I'm a bit odd, it's not something they have encountered themselves and find it hard to understand that I could care so much about someone I barely know. And I'm fed up with trying to trivialise it or say...Read More...

Hi HB, It is probably a good idea that I do not help him with his house; as that will mean spending more time with him and I seriously do not need that! Just in not seeing him for this month has eased a lot of those feelings away from me; plus I am extremely busy on the farm getting stuff buttoned up for winter. Yesterday afternoon and today I had no thoughts of him all day. A definite improvement. I am really trying hard. During the times when I was so obsessed with him and he was on my...Read More...

Hi FrankB I'm new here as well. I also kind of did not what was expected from me, but I didn't really have to deal with the kind of pressure you had to. Since I am not really good at offering good advices or comforting people I just want to wish you good luck with whatever you will undertake. Hope you will find your path and your place.Read More...

Hi HB! It is so good to hear from you again! I've been wondering where you were. I've read your previous posts - you have had more than your share of trials this year, haven't you. I'm so glad your uncle is doing better. And I'm sorry to hear of your SIL's illness - infection is a very scary thing - but I'm glad to hear she's on the road to recovery. And what a blessing you are to your SIL, taking care of her son like that. You are walking through all of this with an amazing amount of grace.Read More...

Strummergirl, thanks for the reply. So far from what I have read on here, this seems like a great place. I really hope I can learn from the people here and get more strength with trying to deal with this. As I said in my first post. I moved away from my family about 4yrs ago. I live about 6 hrs from them now, by myself. I really felt I needed to do this, to get out on my own, because of other things. Like I said, I moved back in with my mom when I started High school (age 15 or so) and lived...Read More...

Hi HB, I am so sorry to hear your sister in law is so ill. What you described is the very same as is happening with my P. I don't know what has happened but just in the last couple of days, I feel as if a huge weight or a dark cloud has lifted from me and I feel a peacefulness which I have never felt before. I have always had lots of fears which really affected my life but now I feel lots of strength coming out in me. My P is also very brilliant in that he knows what is in my mind long...Read More...

Summer and AG, Thanks for the great responses. This is all so helpful to hear. Summer, it took me a very long time to see that my mother, like yours, is very very angry. And like you, I'm not sure where it comes from, but it sure is there, in spades, and it comes out despite her efforts to keep it all inside. AG, Here's what stands out to me from your post: "...unspoken rules that must be obeyed..." "The only way to be connected with her is to do so on her terms and her way." "She does NOT...Read More...

Ok, so I was kind of a bummer in my earlier post. Summer - When I was a teen, I got a part time job and it was one of the best things I ever did in terms of my social anxiety. For whatever reason, it's easier for me to do that sort of thing (talk to people) when its my job rather then just to socialize. I think I'd encourage him to get a part time job, I think there's a lot of good things about having one, as long as he can keep up with his other commitments. Alternately, maybe he'd be...Read More...

Musical Me thank you for your empathy and support. Even if you don't feel you have words of wisdom it's nice to read your post of support. Summer... thanks again. I'm glad to know that you can now think of your P with fondness and realize he did care for you he just handled his retirement badly. HB... your response makes a lot of sense. I am coping although sometimes it does not feel that way. Sometimes it just feels all out of control and I hate that feeling. But I think through this...Read More...