Dear Catgirl, I am so sorry about your loss. Since you decided not to fly because of cost maybe the folks out there might have a little Memorial service when you can be there in July. Would there be anyone who would do that...so you can get some closure? It also helps to remember and write down the things (positive) you remember about her...you could share with those close to her or keep it to yourself. If you want to tell us, we would be glad to listen. Peace, LunaRead More...

CT--Thank You sooo very much for sharing this with me...it helps me a great deal to read about what you felt and how you handled your feelings(and how they changed)!!! Your post brought me to tears...for the thoughtfulness, vulnerability, and beauty of it....mlcRead More...

Here we tak a lot about 'baby steps' meaning take it slow (oh, another saying here 'slow down') all this means is to take it easy on yourself, go slow. sorry you're in so much pain! that's hard to live with. scottRead More...

I understand what you are saying about being leery of pain meds. It sounds as though you know yourself well enough to be cautious. My husband (27 years chronic pain guy) has an implanted dilauded pump which delivers the stuff straight to his spine. In addition, he takes morphine for the pain that the pump doesn't handle. (Breakthrough pain) Here is what my H says about addiction to pain medication. He says that as long as you take the medication for pain, it is incredibly unlikely that you...Read More...

Hi Anyone, just wanted to let you know that I am out here listening. I am sorry that I don't have better answers for you today, but I am listening. i hope that you don;t cancel your appts, It is very hard to face our fears; it can be extremely overwhelming. I complelely understand how you feel. It is a very scary thing to do. In a lot of ways, the way I look at it, is, as hard as it is, facing those fears do provide us tools we need for ourselves to be better prepared for day to day life. I...Read More...

Hey OW. I haven't been on much in the last few days and am working on catching up. I just want to reiterate how WRONG I think what your H did was... I can only imagine how violating that was/is. Everyone's responses here have been thorough but I just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you. Keep us posted. -CTRead More...

I don't do especially well on normal weekends. I dread holiday weekendsRead More...

Hey Timbo .. All you can do is try right! If you love her, don't give up on her. HollyRead More...

Neither of you are "awful," you're just both trying to do the best you can to get by. It doesn't have anything to do with awful or not awful or good or bad.Read More...

Z, They're talking about the look of the new home page for the site. Shrinklady, It does look great! I like how it's organized. Everything's easy to find. I also love the colors of the site in general (brown's my favorite color), and the peaceful feel here. CatgirlRead More...

I would like to second CG's thought here! I have a similar experience when trying to get through the anger and negativity. I think I've said in on here before, but this is what my t said to me once (and I'm definitely paraphrasing): Think about it like this. What does a young child do when he's angry? He strikes out with the most hurtful thing he can think of: I HATE YOU! I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE! YOU'RE STUPID! I'M NEVER GONNA TALK TO YOU AGAIN! But when young child is that...Read More...

Hi Incognito (I still like more-cognito, if you remember!) I'm so glad you've decided to post... I've seen you lurking and wondered how you've been doing but didn't want to pry. First of all, I'm so sorry to hear that you are hurting so much. It must be so confusing to want to run to your t but away at the same time. Unfortunately, I know that confusion too. I also know that there isn't much I can tell you that will help. However, there is something I noticed in the above quote that I wanted...Read More...

Hey Samy! I'm so glad to see you on the boards again! I've missed you being a part of the dicussions around here but certainly understand since you've been so busy. And I'm so sorry to hear about your dad... I hope things are improving. And idk where you live but it's hot where I am too! I wish it would cool down but I know it won't ANY time soon! -CT P.S.- I'll respond about your growing and learning about love on your other post!Read More...

TN, BTW, I know how you feel with the coughing/bronchitis thing. I recently had pneumonia. It's so energy-consuming to be sick. My T always reminds me that we have plenty of time, and to know that it will be okay, that we will work through my stuff. So, that's what I want to remind you of right now. Right now, you need to focus on regaining your energy. The other stuff will come in its own time. catgirlRead More...

Hi Rachel - I get extremely attached to therapists so I can completely understand your not wanting to try again with another therapist (and risk getting hurt again). Over a decade ago, I saw a therapist for 3 years. It didn't help at all but I couldn't bear losing her so I stuck around for 3 years until I forced myself to "give her up". For a decade I struggled on my own. Then when I couldn't do it anymore, my thought was I could never, ever go through therapy with anyone but that last...Read More...

Catgirl, I am glad you got to watch with your daughter, and be with her. It sounds like your mom was a very strong woman. The picture you shared show your love for her. "It made me really miss my mom. Death just sucks" Keep drawing on your strength, and look for all of the warm memories you have stored, to sustain you. If it helps to talk about your mom, I will chat anytime. whereami.Read More...

Hey sorry CT, I am not good with using quotes yet. It looks like it did not work in my last post when I tried to quote from your post!.Read More...

BW, You're probably right. I'm curious to know why you say this. Does everyone experience it when therapy is working? Stressed Out, Sure! Anytime! catRead More...

Hi HB, Jo, thanks so much for saying hello too, it's so lovely having people respond and means a lot to me! Jo, I'm doing a lot of arts and creative education projects. All of which seem to bunch up at the moment. But I've booked myself into a couple of retreats this summer not to lose sight of the important things in life SBRead More...

Hi songbird!Read More...

Hi HB, I'm so sorry to hear about all of the things that are going on with and around you. I can only sit here and imagine having to live through and deal with fear on a daily basis. I commend you and your family for wanting to stay in your area to do something to invoke change. I'm glad that your uncle will heal physically, but sad that he and your aunt will have to live with this memory. I'll include you and your family in my prayers at church this evening. Be safe! SO .. formally HollyBaby0Read More...

Hi all. This is my favorite song right now and I just thought I'd post the lyrics in case anyone was interested/shared my taste in music. Awful Direction by The Almost Life has given me the, me the creeps I need you to make, to make, to make me weak I have made my world my own, I've made it my own And I have never been so alone I can't stop my brain from moving in an awful direction Lord I can't stop my hands from doing what I don't want to do anymore I've been wrong I've been right but...Read More...

HI CG That's so sweet that they have such a ceremony Sometimes we get caught up in our own grief during milestones that are important to us, and forget about the children, and the milestones they encounter where the loss of a loved one affects them. I'm glad that you were home to be able to comfort your daughter when she needed you. Your mom's spirit will be with you both at the milestones that come your way, so in essence she is sharing them with you, in your heart and your memories I know,...Read More...

Its a lot like the previous sims games with more stuff. They fixed some really annoying stuff, like having your house-mate/spouce's alarm clocks wake up all the sims in the room. There is no longer the painful "loading" screens to get to other places in town. Character creation is more sane. Fewer sliders to make your sim look awful. I'm somewhat disappointed in the clothing / hair / etc selections. I think they want to use the micro-transaction model to keep you buying all that stuff.Read More...

Hi SD ~ Welcome , A year ago I was where you are . Same sort of symptoms; Difficulties at work (work was actually the catalyst), relationship issues to the point of a seperation being suggested by my partner, I was extremely moody, had anxiety attacks, and severe depressive behaviors (crying, confused, sleeping, self loathing). It took me a couple of months before I woke up one mornign and said what you have "I want to be ME again", so I went to the dr. She did some bloodwork/tests to rule...Read More...