Same for me. Stress load causes me to do it. Sometimes I can feel myself out of control and screaming and angry feels good as it means I am actually expressing something and letting it out. I feel like a pressure cooker with so much anger but unable to get it out.Read More...

Hi HIC - not sure about this - I pay out of pocket, and I'm not in the US. but I have the idea that some insurers will cover at distance under some circumstances.Read More...

Hi Mallard, This is something that's become clearer for me over time. At one stage a little while ago I was feeling very abandoned after the end of a therapy relationship and all these 'symptoms' got so much worse for me. Couldn't keep a routine, couldn't go to bed or wake up on time, couldn't focus on work and what's more, didn't want to. Other times I've noticed and learned how the household routine stuff - cleaning up, cooking, communicating about schedules, is core for my H and I caring...Read More...

Thanks Muff *quack*Read More...

I read this earlier today and have thought about it a lot. I am not sure it is a sign you are supposed to recognise - but it is something. A strange coincidence? - but it keeps happening. Take whatever meaning from it as you think you should, but I firmly believe it is a sign from C, I really do. We are all creatures of the universe and we all affect each other - I think this butterfly is visiting you for a reason.Read More...

I'm glad it serves, Muff.Read More...

Very good question Kid, and good discussion. It has made me think. I think it´s right trust comes in different levels. I think I had to reach a very high level of trust in old T before I could let my inner child emerge. It took very long time, and maybe I was too scared to trust at first. Maybe because I had no one to trust in when I was a child and was neglected, hurt and abused. I have worked with many therapists and with them I didn´t really make any progress. OldT was the first I could...Read More...

too! Li'l one just wants her to fill so many voids that the adult kid knows she can't. I know she can never replace what I've lost but the longing feelings are still so overwhelming. I hate this. The Kid and li'l oneRead More...

spontenaity is the spice of life! what's a "hot grilled breaky"? a breakfast sandwich? just curious. at any rate, sounds marvelous, muff. me thinks you and bessy have the right idea about lifeRead More...

sure as shit! i'd buy!Read More...

i was talking, tongue in cheek, abouot size, not the idea of being USA citizen. being affiliated with the USA is not in the least offensive to me. i could write a ton here on that, but it would be controversial for sure, so we'll just leave it alone. (((RM))) that is a beautiful image, by the way. party on!Read More...

Hi BLT, I think that Draggers made a good point. It sounds like T was working as a one off , just keeping in touch session and was trying to keep it light. Good luck next session.Read More...

Hi Draggers...because I do want to share more about my experience, I will write something about it this weekend, when I have more time to get it out. Just wanted to let you know.... The KidRead More...

GE, Draggers, TN, Noners, CD - thank you so much. Your words helped. I don't know what to do right now. There is a plug where my heart should be. I feel I'm walking in a waking dream all day long. Thank you for all the reminders that I will get through this T tried... so hard today. She asked me to look at her, she said it would be connecting. I didn't want her looking back at me... that she'd see I have nothing in there. But I did, and she was teary and so I didn't anymore. She held my...Read More...

that sounds rather nice, muff. i hope you go through with it and do indeed end up with what you're hoping for.Read More...

So that is the first time in 27 years you have expressed anger at your T?!? I am not a T (yet) but if I were, and I had a client who had been seeing me for multiple years without ever expressing anger about anything I did (and when you've been in therapy for years, any T will mess up enough to merit some kind of anger), I would be ECSTATIC to see my client get angry at me finally! It sounds like you may have an issue with being overly compliant and not expressing anger, so she should have...Read More...

What you offer???? A warm, strong voice of reason, care, compassion, giving good advice and direction. I always learn from you.Read More...

hi annie, i'm really sorry you have to deal with this and i would also feel very betrayed! it sounds like she didnt mean anything bad with it, maybe she was even thinking you would be ok/happy with it, well it seems she didnt really 'think' too hard about it! in my (not expert) opinion, i dont think its right. i know there are a few T/writers out there who have done this, but i am pretty sure they have asked their patients if they are ok with this and probably send them a proof of the story.Read More...

Awww Cat - I'm glad you got warm fuzziness from T! JillannRead More...

Maybe, maybe not. Either way, it has begun to disentangle. That is the main thing.Read More...

Monte--sorry it didn't work. Sometimes I run up and down the back stairs of my Ts building for like ten minutes before session just to try to keep myself from freezing up and going dead in the head. I hope you find something that works.Read More...

(((Athenacus))) That really does sound like a lot on your plate right now. Hang in there!Read More...

seems to me bessie's running just fine. maybe they're just not AS depressed i know that's bull, but it sure has to be a load off not having to worry about future financial security.Read More...

When I have been impulsive in therapy, too often it hasn't turned out well for me. So I try to be on guard to some degree. I don't know that it is about not trusting others as much as it is about not trusting myself; obviously I cannot trust myself to do or say the right thing on an impulse.Read More...