Hey Mrs S, thanks for posting. There are a few of us who have had some nasty experiences with T's who have abandoned us. Finding a new T who is experienced and isn't afraid of attachment makes all the difference. There are great T's out there who embrace this type of therapy - when you find the right one - it feels wonderful. I am really glad that youkept persisting to get the help you needed. Welcome. SomedaysRead More...

Do you think there'd be any harm in giving my T a small present and thank you letter at our last visit? I guess I wonder if while she's gone and I'm feeling angry and unloved and abandoned and upset with her, if I'll regret giving her the letter and present. Maybe that's silly, but it might happen. What do you guys think?Read More...

I have T tomorrow - I did write her something. If I don't walk in and immediately have a panic attack... I might give it to her. It's really, really hard having two Ts because I have to go through the hard stuff sometimes twice (I don't have to, but for the sake of consistency for my care team I have to). So it's T1 I see tomorrow, T2 is the one I told stuff to. Right now I'm supposed to contain what's bugging me in the 'for later box' (trauma hates going in the for later box, but as long as...Read More...

Hi and Welcome! Intheshadows-I do this shutting down thing too. I just read an article on mindfulness and have tried it twice in classroom situations in the last 6 months. I think if I could train myself in mindfulness I might be able to overcome the shutting down. I think I'm going to talk to T about it next session.Read More...

Re: I did this...Read More...

believe it or not my T doesn't bring up my not talking much at all i either talk or not.i dont think she wants to feed the fear.im glad for that although a few times some bad things were going on and i guess she needed me to talk and that is when she turns into boot camp T.when they say a T cant make you talk that isnt true.i did learn if needed my T can make me talk but it isn't comfortable in fact it is a horrible experiance.one when i was able to ask what was wrong and why is she doing...Read More...

people here are so nice you are all stuck with me nowRead More...

hi BG im new here but i can totally relate to this.i bring a stuffy every week to T.it helps ground me.my T even talks to it sometimes lol. awsome with being able to leave it at home and have a great session but remember it is ok to want to bring it.Read More...

thanks TN for your thoughts. My T is already gone so no transitional object this week. I'm going to try the doggie treats. Your dragon is wonderful especially because he picked it out to give to you. I will probably send him an email. I'm doing okay tonight and it is only one week.Read More...

(((((HI LG))))) So nice to see you. I take it you are still with T3. How are things going? It sounds like she might have looked at your Facebook page. Hey, maybe our T's are just as curious about our lives as we are about theirs!!! LOl!!! Can you ask her how she knows what so and so looks like?Read More...

((((CAT)))) Now I understand what you mean. I've been in that position with my T and understand how that feels. The most salient example I can think of is when my T started to hug me last December. Part of me really really loved it and part of me was really pissed off that he didn't ask. I mean, really pissed off. I held off telling him until after the holidays but decided it was best to tell him because my anger was really intense. I knew I ran the risk of having him withdraw the hugs -...Read More...

I like the pigeon analogy! Something for me to think about. And BLT... it is a bit of a paradox, isn't it? The more I allow myself the option of not trusting/the more I trust myself, the less fear I have, and the more I can trust those that ARE perhaps trustworthy.. And then there are those that have good intentions but do harm anyway. I can use my BS detector up to a point, but I'm also teaching myself that people do weird things and it might hurt me and I'm not going to hold myself...Read More...

I had my session this week. It went fairly well. Since it had been 3 weeks since the last one it was like we had to play catch up (get re-aquainted) for the first 10 minutes. Then I started on a few things not totally deep, but deeper than chit chat. I didn't get to the deep stuff until we were close to done. ugh. I told T I was trying to decide if I wanted to share certain things or not. She asked why I felt like I couldn't share. I said it was due to time and due to subject matter being...Read More...

((erica)) Welcome! I've gone through periods of not feeling validated by my therapist's too and I've raised fuss. I think as far as validation goes, at least w/ my Ts, they validate what I'm feeling or why I might be feeling that way. Where I think saying the opposite of what I'm saying would be comforting/reassuring rather than validating the 'core' issue. I guess my Ts work like NavyMe's - they do the body stuff too. I think Ts try to tell us the opposite of our negative feelings about...Read More...

((( Athenacus ))) sorry about all of it, can particularly relate to the "ex" stuff, but all of it sucks. sorry about the courses. ugh! you're not whining, you're just un-winding ... that's a good thing! i hope thing are looking better tomorrow! hugs!Read More...

I think you are OK, perhaps we both are? LOL. Me too. We seem to be harsh on ourselves!Read More...

Aw TN...so glad you are feeling better! I can kinda relate because when my T remembers stuff we talked about, it's always a bit of a jolt. I used to wish that old T would remeber stuff, so I wouldn't have to tell it over again to remind him, which I hated very much. Now I have the opposite problem...can't get away with anything because T remembers stuff which I'm starting to realize. yikes. Anyway...glad your T is so nice to you. You need and deserve kindness. hugs, BBRead More...

Athenacus, BB and puppet, thanks for chiming in, I can use all the the help I can get. I am extremely attached to my T. Probably too damn much for my own good. Could be part of my problem. I really hate asking for anything from anybody. I pretty much believe in paying my way, and I would feel really awful having to ask for a discount. It is so against my nature. If I do and she says yes, could she possibly feel resentment?I don't think I am a very easy client. She has told me that I am a...Read More...

Navy Me. I can relate so well to what you have experienced. Early on in my therapy I took hold of T's hand without asking first and kissed it as my way of saying thank you for the session. I beat myself into a frenzy over what I had done and e-mailed her the next day to apologise, and even to say I would understand if she did't wish to see me any longer. T replied at once to say "Don't worry, you haven't done anything wrong". She now accepts that this is just my way of saying goodbye to her...Read More...

Congratulations discoveringme!!! That´s BIG achievement - LittlemeRead More...

Yep, totally me, too. It's terrible. I'm so sorry you have it too, but glad to know I'm not alone!Read More...

Thanks, AG. Even though I said I knew that she didn't mean it the way I took it, seeing your explanation of why she wanted me to attach to others makes me realize that even my own rational explanation was just finding another way to blame myself for feeling the way I do (if anything I just wrote makes sense). The thing that will stick with me the most is something she said that showed me she understood the weight of what I was telling her. She said that even if her plane drops out of the sky...Read More...

Just wanted to thank you all for the responses and empathy/sympathy.... but... Aside from the bad stuff there were some bright spots. Didn't want you all to think it was a totally bleak time. Seeing my son enjoy himself thoroughly with family he hardly sees. Watching him adapt to a new language. Laughing as he tried to catch lizards (even though I hate them). He had a really great time and I'm glad. Aside from that... I bought 2 great pair of shoes and a purse. My dh bought me for my...Read More...

Hi guys, thank you! I talked to my T about this today. She suggested (because I said the content of what I'm writing is.. hard and I think it might be too much to process and walk in to so deeply without I don't know? warning her?) that if it's too personal to try writing it out as a story happening to someone else to provide some emotional distance. That didn't really sound appealing to me. So we ended up talking about if I can bring it in and try to highlight a little piece and get through...Read More...

Sometimes, the fact that someone (my T) believes in me is the only reason I try. There is for sure nothing like knowing someone believes in you!Read More...