Everyone, thank you for your kind words and support! I love this board!Read More...

*sigh* If only they could be there for us whenever we needed them instead of on some schedule which might not have anything to do with what actually works...Read More...

I empathize with your feeling of making it up/ I can hardly believe it happens to me but I have recordings and I woudl have to be an amazing actress to be making it up. I can't even imitate it when out of it, to my husband so he can hear what sounds I make. I find it all very odd. BUt real. I feel so real. I seem to be accessing parts of my mind that I have locked down. And they are still there. I would be very gentle to yourself. When it happens to me, I have to sleep a lot afterwards and...Read More...

I know expressing this stuff has made me feel SO much safer about receiving from T...though, it is still an issue that I have to talk about with him pretty frequently (i.e. did Friday, will again tonight).Read More...

hey (((AG))), thanks. it really is important to get feedback from others who know what you're talking about. not sure what people in therapy did pre-internet! must have been one HELL of a struggle i can imagine! (((BB))) it's great to meet you, too! thanks for your response. thanks for allowing me to shut the door again as i'm pretty good at beating myself up for that as well. you probably knew that . thanks in large part to this forum i do have a sense of hope. it's a great place to go...Read More...

Hey Tn, thanks for asking. Things are rocky.T has let me down badly and she has to do some major repairing - she has caused some major attachment injury for me. I have had 2 weeks of a breakdown that is nearly as bad as when youngT terminated me so T's timing is terrible for me. Currently I am in a mental fog / time distortion thing and I can't breathe until T and I have this out on Tuesday. I am terrified she is terming me and I think she thinks I am terming her. Yes - seeing youngT is...Read More...

I think you've got great responses here just wanted to lend my support I scream here lots and it helpsRead More...

Ninn, i'm glad your emotions seem to be evening out. they can be awefully intense and consuming and make life really difficult. i'm glad you're hanging in with your T, too ... it seems like you've invested a lot of time with her and it would be sad to just drop it for good or have to start all over again with someone else. i hope you can continue to work together so you can reach whatever goals you have in order to live a happier life. as far as cancelling everybody else and keeping your...Read More...

sorry i'm late to reply again... thank you ((eliana, morgs, raven)) for your hugs and enthusiasm! thanks ((echoes)) lovely to see you too, as always! hi (closed doors)! thanks! but i'm afraid last session was more of a fluke then anything... well, it was a beginning, a step forward, but the struggle to talk won't be that easily won. i had my session today and it was again a 'struggle'. we spent the whole time (in between silences) talking about why I struggle to talk / connect. still,...Read More...

Athenacus, Really late here but just wanted to congratulate you. LieseRead More...

We talked today and he was so sweet and gave me an hour. He was being locked out of a library at the time and had to rescue his bag so that he could talk to me and not get it locked in. I think he is really kind to me. He agreed that her email is written in the style that you would write to a client. He then went on to say something really interesting, something I have noted here before: He said: Some people in the therapy profession have great difficulty with friendships as they have sort...Read More...

Good luck TN! Let us know how it goes!Read More...

Thanks for the hugs BLT... sending some back to you! (((BLT))) (((AG))) my boss was out of line, and I knew that, and T and I talked about it.. but I still had no out. It was do or die (figuratively) and I thought the pain of doing would be short lived... wrong. There's a saying I've heard "you're only as sick as your secrets" and that really hit home with me, in the most painful of ways. Some secrets that NEED to be shared, well, they can be, but not necessarily with the person/people you'd...Read More...

It is hard. I presume some clients are hard to like for a t. But some clients are easy to like. We always worry we are the 'hard' ones but of course we want them to love us to bits. I suppose it is just part of the delightful dance of therapy (said slightly tongue in cheek) that we have to go through. How are you with this now, Effed?Read More...

Hi Nanabee I'm a new member but just wanted to chime in too because i have related to your situation. I have spent a lot of my life being vague on the one hand an in an uncontrolled rage on the other. I haven't been able to meld the two sides of myself but have a very kind and patient T who encourages me and makes me feel supported and safe, two things that i never got from my parents. When i was a kid i always wanted to be a dog because they looked to me to have such a happy stress free...Read More...

Morgs, you make me laugh. Trust an Aussie to make a competition out of swearing - and an Olympic sport at that! Ditto to your story. I could qualify myself and regularly let rip with a few appropriately placed words to describe situations or to add emphasis. My T says it when appropriate or when describing what I said ....Read More...

Re: Is my therapist flirting with me?Read More...

That's interesting JD. I do think that as we're able to face a lot of dark, difficult, and painful stuff, we do seem to appear more solid and authentic to other people. I think it's because we're no longer running from things that are inside of us. I still think you're really brave and I agree you're going to come out of all of this a different and stronger person.Read More...

Because my P has consistently and patiently welcomed me back after I have "quit" over minor disruptions, I realized last week that I no longer feel the need to do this anymore. Thank you P!Read More...

I've "quit" several times in the past 2 years and only stayed away for 5 weeks. My P always welcomed me back graciously and never asked questions unless I raised the issue. I've never really felt ashamed that I quit until recently. In the past, I felt it was a necessity, perhaps an attempt to protect myself from being hurt, having been hurt before in therapy. Recently I said I was going to quit again but went back after 2 weeks. As we talked about it, and we've had some very good sessions...Read More...

It sounds like your T was inappropriate and you DH is being like a normal DH sometimes: insensitive. Men. LOL And you are sensitive to such friction because of your past. I am sorry it was so rough for you and I am glad you posted here as it probably helped vent some of it and we can send hugsRead More...

So I have been trying not to peek at my T on FB but not very successfully. Yesterday, she posted her engagement photos which are beautiful but also shows her being very vulnerable with her boyfriend. I am completely obsessed (at least that's how it feels) in learning more about her life and what she's doing, with whom, and when. I have never been so curious about anyone in my life. I know its bad for my continued therapy, yet I continue to engage in the bad behavior. Oy, story of my life.Read More...

POOF.........GONE! Easy for me to say, because I don't deal with any of this. If I did, I would have to make- "under the table" my permanent home.Read More...

I'm hearing that the silence gets more comfortable as the relationship gets more comfortable. Like orbit, I often freeze and can't find the right words. I start rambling and not even making sense to myself and keep asking her if I'm making sense. Luckily, the silences aren't often - but that's because I will usually ramble on because the silence makes me uncomfortable. I just don't like it when it's quiet and I know she's looking at me and I must look so stupid. I want to be invisible. My T...Read More...

My ex-T said a lot of warm and fuzzy things from how she like my hair or how soft my eyes were but what I liked the most was our talk on anger. She said: "if you expect to leave this office and never be angry, don't let the door hit your butt on the way out. Anger is a natural emotion and can be used right." kansasRead More...