Hi Hopeful! I just started taking Wellbutrin again, and I have similar concerns! I wish I could offer some good insight, but I'm in the thick of a similar experience. I went on Wellbutrin just a few days ago because of failings with my T in regards to expressing any kind of anger without judgement. As you said, feelings just are and need to be acknowledged, or they become toxic. Due to the fact that I felt like I could NOT express these feelings, I started feeling the depression coming on. I...Read More...

Hi JenDark, I think you are right...I am totally a person who is trying to read more into what people are actually saying...bad habit and not real useful for me. I think I get it how important it is the therapeutic relationship is now since she said that and now exploring it more since that appt. and she has said she is "eclectic" that style really doesn't matter. I just finished writing it out and I know what it is now and the thing I have been trying to resolve which is my attachment...Read More...

Hi Raven, I think Catalyst said this really well. I don't have much more to add, but did want to chime in and say that I was told something similar by my T when I expressed concern over the possibility that I might unknowingly manufacture a memory if I began exploring some fragments. She said she thought it was still a good idea to try and talk about it, because even if what I "remembered" was not exactly what happened, what was important was the effect it had on me and that was something we...Read More...

Hi born, OUCH. That sounds awful... but you're in the right place... I think almost everyone here has at least experienced the high-octane feelings you're talking about, if not the outright rejection on top of that. Please continue to post if it makes you feel better... is there really no hope of you seeing a therapist regularly? Big hugs, effedRead More...

That's how I feel today - I don't want to see her again. I'm finding all the reasons why she's not doing a good job or why I should be mad at her. I went to pdoc the other day and he said age had sent him a note stating I was quitting my meds. I did tell her I had cut down and wanted to quit, but assured her I would talk to him first. I was mad that she contacted him behind my back and that she didn't trust me to talk to him. Now, the logical, adult me knows I'm being ridiculous, yet it...Read More...

Ahhh, yes, I've read this article. In fact, I've read most of this blog I really like how well the author breaks things down and keeps it "real" for us. Good for you for jumping into reality head first! It hurts for a while, but it really is worth it in the long run. (((Athenacus)))Read More...

Hey Autumn, I was happy too that I was able to do it. Part of it for me is not being able to get past my love feelings for my T. It's not as intense as it was before. It feels more stable now. I feel more stable, although I'm sure some of you would beg to differ considering my most recent threads. But I do feel like the relationship is something I can count on. My T's wedding ring came off a year and a half ago. My problem is that when he shows up with a ring on his finger that will be the...Read More...

((((AUTUMN))))) As difficult as this has all been for you, you are approaching it with a great sense of responsibility to yourself while still acknowledging the potential for uncertainty. The thing that I am coming to realize in my own work and what I see you coming to terms with is that sometimes in order to be true to ourselves, we have to deal with a little uncertainty. I know in the past I'd rather have the sure thing even if it wasn't good for me than to acknowledge how something might...Read More...

That's great to hear! I'm really happy for you!I think it's such a great feeling to feel so cared for in that way by our Ts.Read More...

(((((BB))))) So glad to hear it all. Thanks for the explanation re: the attachment stuff. It is helpful to me because you know I was in the same place as you. Any insights gained for you are insights gained for me. xoxoxoxo LieseRead More...

Hey TN Hope you are hanging on in there - with the help of your dragon Ahhh your wizard T really is fab - love love LOVE his story and the gift for you to keep safe till you see him again. I too saw my dentist on this week's break! How funny. Helps that mine is hot! hahah. Hugs xxxxRead More...

Hi Anna, I'm really sorry that you are in so much pain. I can relate to what you have described. My therapist has much more that I do both socially and financially. I do find it hard at times when I look at what she has and what I don't. I have actually thought about it quite a bit. It can make me yearn for something that I don't feel that is easy for me to achieve. I'm particularly sensitive around and envious of her social network. It can be painful to hear about things that she's planning...Read More...

UUUUGGGGHHHH! I hate that!Read More...

Hi Thanks for your replays , we tried first to work on the traumas ( I have more than one trauma in my life) and we began on what was the most difficult and the deepest pain, first my T asked me to write it down and to it like 2 times, then to read it for him, oh my that was near impossible, The words were just stuck and it took some minutes for me to even began reading it, and I was not able to look at him , and I cried and all the time I was trying to read it, and yes I had/have some deep...Read More...

I also record my sessions and it is an eye opener. I now know for fact that what I think he is saying is entirely coloured by the mood I am in, so I can mishear spectacularly. And he may say one word (one of mine is 'limit') and I am triggered and I don't hear ANY of what he is actually saying, I only hear what I THINK he is saying. Also, I have had to really accept parts of myself, because I cannot say they are not real or true when the recorder just records what AHPPENED in that session,...Read More...

Sadly, Yes I use to take overdose's because I use to imagine hospitals and nursing staff could provide the care I so desperately yearned for, accept I learnt actually they are some of the least caring people I know. I was told to "do it properly" next time, was roughly handled, had stomach pump to "teach me a lesson", I could go on. That was in my teens and early 20s. Since being with This T I haven't reverte to those sort of actions. I told T that I hate demanding almost that she tells me I...Read More...

(((((COGS))))) I hope you don't mind I call you that. It reminds me of that adorable Cogsworth from Beauty and the Beast. If you don't like the nickname, just let me know. Even though we have never ever gotten along, the dynamic in my family was that no matter what anyone did to me, (or anyone) they were family and we had to remain tight. I was a pretty nice kid (well, that's my side of things) but what that meant, and the message was drilled in constantly even up until recently, was that no...Read More...

Thank you all, your replies are so warm and encouraging and I think I have to agree with you. I think he does love me and he is puzzled that I lose the feeling of that.Read More...

are you okay Neece14?Read More...

Very good to read this!Read More...

Echoes, thank you for your kind words. I've been thinking a lot about my session yesterday, and it's only Thursday. I've come to the conclusion that I am really angry I changed my 3:30 time, to 11:30. But, I know this is the inner-child being angry and trying to make it someone else's fault, when I chose to do this, to help out H. I guess I am worried, that if I wanted to change the time back to 3:30, it won't be available to me. I didn't cancel Monday's session, so I guess I'm going to go,...Read More...

Hi Thanks for your replays, Its not legally binding business contract , its more like word of honor that we did write down, with steps what I can do if crisis would happen or I was going to do something bad, If I feel overwhelmed I can send him mail and so on until The last step is contacting him in his private mobile, I have only once used the last step. Because like I said in another post I am working sometimes in a hospital in the field where the mental ward is , and my T knows I will not...Read More...

I might consider doing EMDR. I'm so uncertain as to whether I effectively shove my emotions down inside and lock them away or I get over things the right way. I'm glad that its workign for you Sadly Despite the intensity of it at times..Read More...

It sounds like you have been having quite a painful and challenging time Anna and it is wonderful that you found here - and can write here and get responses. I don't know what country you are in, and it doesn't really matter but I find that most people here are in America and things can work differently at the practical level. I live in England so see a psychologist for free on the NHS but I am fortunate. I think you are still half consciously seeing if he IS truly trustworthy. I still do...Read More...

Hi Liese... yeah I saw the Beach Boys too. I have always loved them. I don't know if I will have email access to him on vacation because I have no idea right now where he is going. But if I ask I know he'll tell me and he's always been open to email before (if he has access to it). I guess we will talk about all of this on Thursday. He usually gives me more notice than a week so I wonder if this was last minute. I guess that whatever we don't have time to deal with will just get stuffed as...Read More...